Woke? What Would Jesus Do? (TBB)

Lord Jello, show us the way.

The acronym WWJD can mean many things. In Berkeley, it stands for, "What would Jello do?" Jello is Jello Biafra, the brilliant if slightly preachy former lead singer of the patriotic punk rock band the Dead Kennedys and founder of Alternative Tentacles Records.

(It is more patriotic to critique and try to improve one's country than to mindlessly go along with anything it says or does in the name of capitalism, assassinating presidents, hegemony, imperialism, racism, sexism, war-profiteering, and other misdeeds).

"Welcome to 1984" (DKs)

Some people think the "J" should really only refer to Jesus, but that is contradicted by the fact that those who say they talk to Jesus are deemed "good," whereas those who say that Jesus talks to them are deemed "nuts."

It is, in fact, not about talking but calling to mind a role model. What would the Buddha do? What would an arhat (an enlightened person) do? What would a saint do? What would kind Kwan Yin or rebel Mother Mary do? (Both are goddesses of compassion in the world).

If we call to mind our best example of a human person or spiritual being, then that can help guide our own decision-making when it comes to sorting out tough dilemmas or forks in the road of life.

Is trans different from non-binary? D'uh! (lol)

Forget the sandal. It's the gourd!

Some think Jesus is best, so to be able to stay on his team, they imagine he would be very "woke." Other followers hate this idea. As with most things, Christians are divided. It's like that scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian. The Messiah figure runs because so many followers need something from Him.

He takes off so quickly that he drops a sandal and his water gourd. Followers pick up these items, reasoning that the sacred object must have been left behind by the Savior as a guide symbolic of his presence.

Is the gourd the water of life, or is the sandal expressive of the path we must follow? Gourd, sandal? Sandal, gourd? And then they begin killing each other for the crime of worshiping the wrong symbol.

Woke Jesus

(The Babylon Bee) Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible. Get your copy of "Woke Jesus" today and defend your faith against progressive ideology: lucasmiles.org/bee. #comedy #bible #woke #jesus #christian #methodist #unitedmethodist

WARNING: Foul language and not nice things about Jesus and God. For

God so ordained that Nicholas Bowling get a lot of view but have

a hard time doing so at the Louisville Gay Pride Festival, Pt. 2

• The Babylon Bee, May 6, 2024; Nicholas Bowling; Seth Auberon, Pfc. Sandoval, Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly