Sunday, March 1, 2009

Dating 101: Secrets of a Matchmaker

Erin Meanley
A professional match-maker reveals keys to successful dating
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I read a hilarious nonfiction book called "Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker" and loved it so much, I just had to track down the author, Samantha Daniels.
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She is a former divorce lawyer turned professional matchmaker. In the book, you read about all the crazy singles she meets -- thanks to her business "Samantha's Table," which has offices in NYC and LA. She has helped over one hundred couples get married and thousands get into long-lasting relationships. Wow! I just had to ask her some questions.

Erin: Tell me about the 80-20 dating rule.

Samantha: In "Matchbook," I spoke of the 80-20 rule -- any time you meet someone who has 80% of the things you are looking for, you should realize that this is a great person for you. If you throw back into the dating pool an 80% guy, the next guy is going to be 80% again, just a different 80% because it is near impossible to find more than 80% perfect for anyone.

Erin: In your book, you talk about how important timing is with guys.

Samantha: Men need to be ready and desirous of a relationship at a particular moment to get into a relationship, whereas women can be ready at any time if they meet "the guy." Single women need to try to catch the guy when his "ready light" is on. We have all seen men end up with women who just don't seem as good for him as his last girlfriend, and this is because he wasn't ready then, but he is ready now.

Erin: Story of my life. So do you have any dating tips for our readers?

Samantha: Smile -- men want to be with a happy girl. Be open to possibilities, limit your pre-date phone chat to a minimum, and teach him early that texting only supplements phone calls and dates!

Erin: What are some red flags we should look out for?

Samantha: Beware of guys who tell you how great you are before they know how great you are, guys who have shady answers that you just don't believe, and guys who are serial daters.

Erin: I always meet younger guys. I love them, but they're never ready to get serious. Where or how can I meet single men in their 30s?

Samantha: Lounges are better than bars and clubs. Organize small dinners with your friends and their friends, and look around the gym!

Erin: I'm on it! Thanks, Samantha!

And how about that 80-20 rule? I think I meet a lot of 20-percenters, actually. But I'll be careful to look for the 80! Do you often throw good single men back into the dating pool?

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