US celebrates National Bikini Day July 5th

Long silk [aka silkworms boiled alive] "Buddha" Kimono (Bikini Beach Australia)

DANGER: Bikinis are a magnetic distraction to men, who are mysteriously drawn in by them.

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Clumsy man goes overboard for a red bikini.

Since July 5, 1946, females have been hitting the beaches and pool sides scantily clad in "bikinis" (floss and patches).

National Bikini Day marks the anniversary of the invention of the revealing two-piece bathing suit.

Named after the Bikini Atoll, where the United States military annihilated indigenous land by conducting atomic and nuclear bomb tests, the two-piece bathing suit made its debut in Paris in 1946.

Evidence of bikini from 1,000,000 BC

[This was possibly to distract US soldiers with pin up girls while they traveled the world, met new people, and killed them; after all, up until then the Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield posters had too much on].

French designer Jaques Heim wanted to name revealing bits of fabric "atom" [as in atomic bombs falling on Bikini Atoll?], but designer Louis Réard named his piece, revealed on this day (July 5th) in 1946, with the name "bikini" and the word stuck.

By World War II [because war and carnage have an odd way of wearing away at a nation's morals], sunbathers cast aside the chaste one-piece bathing costumes for simple two-piece bathing suits.

Settle down, Censors. This woman is 64, old enough to make a Beatles' song.

• Mexican beauty Salma Hayek, 56, shows off abs posing in plunging bikini for National Bikini Day (prevention.com)
• Happy National Bikini Day for the 77th year of the bikini

Is that Atom Atoll, Mom? - No, it's Bikini Atoll, Honey. - I'd like to wear one. - Me, too.

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Should I come out, Claudia? - Why, Bil?

However, nothing prepared the United States for the revealing bikini when it hit the beaches on July 5, 1946.

[It wasn't even the Fifties yet, and eyes were bulging out of boy's and men's heads. Then the hippies in the Sixties went from two-piece down to no-piece in their efforts to help the USA wage peace.]

The skimpy strips of fabric were seen as less than a women's unmentionables [britches, panties, undergarments, lingerie].

We prefer modern Jain nuns

While Europe [which is cool with toplessness and has always had nude beaches] enthusiastically donned the bikini after a long and arduous world war, American's sense of [Puritanical] "decency" kept them from accepting the bikini until the 1960s.

[Hippies saved the day again because tooth floss bottoms and eye patch tops were seen as an improvement over pure nudity. Ah, hypocrisy, we're all for violence on TV but T&A? No way! Sex on the silver screen? Maybe, but only with an R, NC-17, X, or XXX rating, but carnage, slasher flicks, gore, sadistic violence? Sure, it's good for the kids. It makes them better soldiers, drinkers, and gun owners when they grow up.]

What about men's wear?

Men get to wear these nifty safety helmets.

• Hooray for #NationalBikiniDay every July 5
• Bikini Beach Buddha, Cape Byron?

Commentary

The model above is stripping off this inappropriate "Buddha kimono" from Buddha Beach.

Well, that's not so bad.

Please avoid Buddha Bikinis, as they are very offensive to the spiritual lives of more than a billion Buddhists in the world today. There are more than a billion uncounted Buddhism in communist China alone, so the true number of Buddhists worldwide is unknown but could be two billion.

And also please avoid places that call themselves Buddha Bar because it is an oxymoron given that the Buddha spelled out Five Precepts, things to abstain from doing:

Okay, now we're offended.

1. killing
2. stealing
3. sexual misconduct
4. lying
5. alcohol.

And while, no doubt, some Buddhists drink, it is not in keeping with the rudiments of the religion or the advice of the Enlightened One.

And while we're on the topic of things best avoided, the American habit of standing in front of a Buddha statue to take a picture is in bad form and very offensive to the locals, all the more so if you sit on his lap, put your arms around him, or heaven forbid kiss him.

Tibetan goddess in very revealing outfit

We in the West know what you mean and would love to go dry hump Dionysus in Greece or play grab@$$ with Aphrodite or get super friendly with Bacchus, but the Mediterranean Antiquities Department (MAD) would get really mad if we did. They won't even let tourists graffiti the Colosseum or deface ancient petroglyphs or take home souvenirs of ancient archeological digs like Gobekkli and Karahan Tepe. Go figure.] 

• National Day Calendar; Mexican bikini beauty Salma Hayek; Pfc. Sandoval, Ashley Wells, Shauna Schwartz, Ananda (Dharma Buddhist Meditation), Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly