Let's talk about sex: poetry (6/19)

When sexbots arrive, will they have Replika data?

Visit my weekly Peace Class at PRS, Hollywood.

Sex is a sticky subject. Uh, mmm, icky finicky touchy (not touchy) sticky subject -- ooh, it's nasty. Don't talk about it! What's brown and sticky? A tree. We aim to unstick it.

Sexworld flash fiction (Koertge)

This Thursday the SPARC Centre Gallery (Third Thursdays) monthly poetry reading arrives, featuring South Pasadena Poet Laureate Ron Koertge and Wisdom Quarterly's very own peace activist and poet Mandy Kahn.

See her weekly (Wednesday night) Peace Class at prs.org. The subject this warm month? A theme of passion, romance, getting down and dirty, and summer love with an OPEN MIC segment running throughout the reading. That means YOU can come and read, too.

Mandy Kahn's Peace Class (returns in Sept.)

English only?

In English Rumi might sound filthy and vulgar.

• The Mathnawi of Jalaluddin Rumi: Reynold A. Nicholson (free download, borrow, and streaming: Internet Archive)

What is the sound of one hand... Uh, mmm, no, what is the sound of 1,000 jaws dropping?

Just say "no," Adults. No one should have sex. Better those energies were expended following something far more useful. But what could possibly be more useful, or more enjoyable, than sex?

Once the Bodhisattva (Buddha-to-be) reflected, "Why do I, being subject to aging and death, also seek things that are subject to aging and death? What now if I were to seek out that which is beyond aging and death?"

But if everyone dies and everything eventually passes away, what is not subject to aging and death? What is beyond impermanence?

There is one element that has overcome aging and death and that transcends all suffering, that has overcome sorrow, lamentation, and disappointment. And that is the unconditioned element called nirvana.

Nirvana is better than sex?
Nirvana is better than anything. Everything else is ultimately disappointing. Why? Everything else is subject to incessant arising and passing away. We cling. It fades. We hurt. We are left empty and dissatisfied. Things reveal themselves to be impersonal, unable to stand independently.

As close as nirvana is, realization of it is a long way away from those who do not practice, who do not apply themselves, who do not determine to realize it in this very life.

Even for such people, there is serenity or samatha meditation, which gives access to amazing levels of bliss, serenity, and -- by adding vipassana on top of right samadhi -- degrees of liberating-insight.

As close as calm-and-insight meditation are, realization serenity or wisdom are a long way away for those who do not practice, who do not determine to realize them in this very life.

There's a reason to sit, a better form of pleasure?

Even for such people, there is virtue, which is a more sublime form of joy (piti, rapture, pleasure, bliss) beyond reproach, beyond blame, worry, or any remorse.

As close as virtue is, it is a long way away for those who do not practice, who do not determine to realize it in this very life.

For such people, endowed with virtue, they may enjoy sex that harms no one and does not involve anyone dependent on others. For those who are independent, self-supporting, who are capable of consenting and making their own decisions. Let's talk about sex between them.

Hey, did you ever consider Tantra?

One need not imagine that sex brings one closer to enlightenment -- as Great Vehicle (Mahayana and esoteric Vajrayana) practitioners following the pre-Buddhist Indian path of yogic Tantra may imagine.

As ordinary householders living in the world -- interested in wealth, prosperity, and personal satisfaction through gain, fame, and endless distractions -- sex may serve that purpose.

It of necessity will be disappointing (dukkha). If it were not, the Buddha would never have pointed out a better path to pursue, a way thing to strive for, a superior form of pleasure. There is another way that goes against the stream (the current, the flow), does not pull one by the floods, does not entangle one in the revolving wheel of rebirth and redeath (samsara).

Is anyone going against the stream?

Noah Levine, scandalized founder of Dharma Punx, Against the Stream, Refuge Recovery

• 

  A path to go against the stream

  The path of the spiritual revolutionary is a long-term and gradual journey toward awakening (enlightenment, bodhi). If we want a quick fix or easy salvation, this is not it. Turn back now, plug back into The Matrix, and enjoy that delusional existence. The Buddha's Dharma is a path for real rebels, malcontents, and truth seekers. The wisdom and compassion of the Buddha is available to all, but the journey to personal freedom is arduous. It takes a steadfast commitment to Truth and, at times, counterintuitive (against instinct) action. We have at our disposal everything we need to undertake this journey. There is only one prerequisite -- the willingness to play, to do the practice, to follow the path through the darkest recesses of our minds and hearts, to stand in the face of great resistance and fear and continue in the direction of freedom. For those who are willing, the ability is a given. The Buddha isn’t a god or deity to be worshipped. He was a rebel and ford finder (who rediscovered the way crossing over), an overthrower, destroyer of ignorance, the Master Physician who re-found the path to complete freedom from suffering. The Buddha left a legacy of Truth for us to experience for ourselves, not to believe in him. The practices and principles of these Teachings, the Dharma, lead to our direct experience of knowledge, wisdom, compassion, and full liberation. This is not a faith-based philosophy, but an experiential one. The point of the spiritual revolution is not to become a "good Buddhist," but to become a wise and compassionate being, to awaken from our life of complacency and delusion and ignorance and to be a buddha, an awakened being. In order to do this, it is helpful to study the life and teachings of the original rebel, the Wandering Ascetic Sid — the Buddha.

What about love and relationships? That is different. We are talking about sex.

Love is grand. Most people have nothing higher to live for. And as an English word we confound it with all kinds of loves, when it only refers in this context to romantic love, which feels great but is not what people really mean. It is like referring to the prestigious and selfless faculty when one really means the greedy and despised administration or the mishmash of students. "School" means all three, but we put the best face on it.

The same with relationships. They can be great educators, harder to endure than a monastic life. But most are not. We pretend they are because they can be. But most of them, most of the time are not. Yet everyone claps and says "Awww" when anyone gets engaged. Awww, what? Awww, they're going to be so unhappy, and then the world can say to them, "Welcome to the club."

So let's stick to the subject and talk about sex.

• Men want sex, it is said.
• Yes, so do women -- even though it is said that they do not.
• Well, if they repeatedly indulge and stress about it, they will be caught up in stress and disappointment. But that stress is the only happiness they know.
• Right! It's like the Buddha comparing sexual craving to a leper's itch. The itch gets so bad, the sores so itchy, that placing an arm over an open fire can feel like a downright relief. Fire cauterizes the wound and so soothes the itch. It keeps one from going crazy, even at the cost of great pain or disfigurement.
• If only there were a way not to feel crazy yet not get burned.
• We don't have to have wait for heartbreak to feel "burned."
• Oh, totally. Good sex, great sex, unreal sex is still disappointing, to say nothing of the mediocre sex we mostly all settle for.
• Should independent people have sex?
• If they want to. They're free to. They can even do it while practicing virtue (sila). There is no reason for guilt, self-recrimination, or holding wrong views about it. Abstain, it's better, but indulge with a clear conscience that we are not "forbidden" to do it. One day, some days, meditate, too.
• They might succeed in meditation.
• Successful meditation (jhana, absorption) is better than sex -- full of rapture, joy, and supersensual bliss called piti.
• I've heard. But how could bliss be supersensual?
• There's a higher bliss, a better form of pleasure that is not dependent on the body or bodily feelings and pleasant sensations.
• You think?
• I know.
• Then why would anyone go back to sex as a source of relief or attempted-happiness?
• Those blissful states aren't always available to everyone; they take practice, which takes persistence and a little commitment. They are not permanent or reliable all the time. I mean, they are always there but not always available to everyone. We have base cravings and very strong habits.
• Restraint is good.
• Yes, it is great. But that's not always what the mind wants. And the mind usually gets what the mind wants.
• That's for sure. The body is weak compared to the mind even when the spirit is willing.
• Spirit?
• The breath, the prana, the Spiritus.
• Oh yea.
• Well, good times.
• Good times.

Common first date mistakes to avoid (allwomenstalk.com)

• How To (video); Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven, Ashley Wells (ed.), Wisdom Quarterly, orig. 12/15/11-4/23/24; Noah Levine on going against the stream (edited by Wisdom Quarterly)