"Striving" for Serenity?

Forest Refuge meditation hall, Barre, Massachusetts built around a stone outcropping

Striving for serenity is a lot like relaxing for war. There is a paradoxical saying among soldiers: "Hurry up and wait!" It characterizes the reality of being in the military. Far from brave combat, glory on the battlefield, or dangerous heroics, the day-to-day life of a recruit is bureaucratic and mind-numbingly boring. Hustle, hustle, double-time, and stand in line. Be ready to fight, but sit tight. Have your gear in order, and hold on. There's nothing like racing into action only to be told to wait, wait some more, and don't worry about why there's a wait or how long that wait will be. Serenity meditation, which is the opposite of war, can be the same way.

Absorption -- First Jhana
Jhanas Advice From Two Spiritual Friends: Concentration Meditation As Taught by Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw (Tina Rasmussen & Stephen Snyder)
Jhana [meditative absorption] only appears when the conditions for it are ripe. A beginning jhana practitioner cannot force the awareness into full absorption or make it happen. The student must be vigilant while relaxing into the process. The meditator is either pulled into the jhana spontaneously or uses a resolve for the first time entering a jhana.

Do not become discouraged as you focus on the anapana nimitta [an internal light at the upper lip that signifies intense concentration on the breath], allowing concentration to build, but also do not become overly zealous and use the resolves repeatedly to the point that your concentration wanes.

"You," as you usually know yourself, do not enter jhana. Rather, the veils layered and known as the "normal you" have been temporarily peeling away in the [Mindfulness of in-and-out Breath] Meditation. A thinner, gauze like sense of self is what merges/absorbs [with the nimitta] in jhana.

There is an awareness of being in jhana while in jhana. It is not an unconscious state. One is aware only of the meditation object [the nimitta, which is the sign of the breath]. In full absorption, there is no awareness of time, the body, or the physical senses.

However, due to the deep concentration, the beginning meditator's mind may be able to quickly shift from absorption to access concentration... In this case, the meditator may have a slight sense of time, the body, or the physical senses. (From pp. 65-66 of the 1st edition, now re-released as Practicing the Jhanas).

Master: "Do not take your earthly experiences too seriously. The root cause of sorrow is in viewing the passing show with too much emotional involvement" (Man’s Eternal Quest, SRF, pg. 239).

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