Friday, November 18, 2011

OMG! A "Twilight" sequel! (cartoon)

Amber Dorrian and my kid sister "Bela" not Bella (Wisdom Quarterly)


Breaking Dawn premieres. The forces of the Moon versus those badly affected by the Moon. "Twilight" is basically Dracula vs. Wolfman. Only the vampires are melodramatic and the wolves are so CGI. This series is a mess. But, melodrama can be good. Soap opera thrillers for tweens who need a romantic lead are keeping the mall theaters alive.



Giggly Bieber kids and gayish gothy teens are outnumbered by horndog moms. Fans everywhere are sure to keep this blockbuster going. And that's good. It's keeping "romance" alive. And there's nothing higher to live for. So get used to it.



The world needs more Harry Potter with heavy petting because Emma Thompson isn't doing anything to meet our need for sizzle. Taylor Lautner is pure peach fuzz for a hirsute leading man. Robert Pattinson is very, very Brit'ish. And Kristen Stewart's lesbian child molester kiss with Dakota Fanning was a real let down.

I don't even really like that guy, Kristen Stewart admits in various interviews. Like, you know what I mean? Like, uh, you know?

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