Sex on the Brain in meditation (cartoon)

Iliza Schlesinger; Raquel Welch, Dudley Moore, Bedazzled 1964; br.ifunny.co; Martin Boroson animation; Dhr. Seven, Ananda (Dharma Buddhist Meditation) (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

The most unbelievable things people wear to the grocery store (teddyfeed.com)

Just once I'd like to sit, get absorbed, and strengthen my magical powers instead of obsessing.

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The self, the self, what is no self?

The worst thing about sex is how it consumes us. If, like food, it could just stay in the fridge until we're ready to eat, then okay, it might be manageable.

But like obese gluttons always ready to see what's in the cookie jar, cake pan, freezer, or crinkly wrap, we keep going back. Again, if stayed there we could stay away. But it comes for us. Hey, time to eat. I'm feeling a bit peckish.

Then the bell rang, and I remembered I was meditating. And it was already after lunch, so no more distractions until sleep, which seemed so inviting while sitting on a full stomach -- and simultaneously the most boring thing when it would actually be lights out. and time to go to bed.

This brain wants ACTION. It wants to measure, fantasize, solve for x, calculate why, dream, imagine, remember, forget, conjure, conjecture, and be utterly under the control of itself. It won't accept outside control, that's for sure.

(Martin Boroson) How to meditate in a moment: The "One-Moment Meditation." Smile.

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How can "I" get it to take a keen interest in so boring a meditation subject as the breath? I'd rather write my TED Talk or translate or listen to some beats, play an earworm (listen to a hit song), and do grueling kung fu and yoga, with mindful walking and chi gong...anything but sit here while the sun is out. Who will visit? What funny stories will the Dharma talk include? What should I wear to be more spiritual: Birkenstocks, white linen, a head scarf, a saffron satchel, beads!

Oh, Binky, will you never learn?!

It's been a few seconds and I haven't thought about sex, well, not directly. Indirectly, isn't that all I'm doing. "Sex" represents all Sensuality (Kama), Cupid's arrow, Mara's snare, enticing as Eros, a Banana peel for my next Freudian slip. Ah, what a little suffering wouldn't put out of this satin sheet mind. It's like that comic strip Life in Hell by Matt Groening, the one where my character is sitting in meditation trying not to think.