What's "suffering"? A lonely Valentine's Day

Ashley Wells, Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly; Global Tiny World; Lana Del Rey; Ven. Nyantiloka

No, ugh, get off me! You're not what I want!

If one listens closely, one might notice the tragic melody playing in the background as this guy gets stuck inside a makeout sandwich between two happy couples. Somewhere there's a match. Quick, look, to your right! We can only keep our fingers crossed in the hope that this photo was snapped in jest. If not, this guy’s social life could be more depressing than one might first assume. Viewers who feel sad for this guy, line up. May he get a partner soon to accompany him on Valentine's Day, to the beach, and goodness only knows where he wants to go.

Wait, I can't compete with all the other beauties craving limited resources on the beach.

What did the Buddha say?

I'd date him and cling to him and lose him.

Q: How in the world could the Buddha say, "All life is suffering"?! That's preposterous. I'm not suffering right now...right?

A: It's true, but only in English. In English we're not "suffering" right now. There's no sadness, no nothing that would fall in the range of agitation to agony. What word could we better translate what the Buddha said? He used the word dukkha. All states of existence (not just this life in this relatively nice human plane world, one world of countless human worlds) are unsatisfactory. That is, they are all incapable of fulfilling us. There is no freedom from craving, from aversion, from boredom.

What the Buddha taught is more shocking than "all life is suffering," which is very misleading. It's not all suffering, as he himself pointed out, or else no one would stay. It's all disappointing, it's all unsatisfactory, it's all beset by woe and ill.

Our state of health is beset by ill. What does that mean. We are liable to get sick. Our youth is beset by aging and breaking down. Our beauty is beset by fading and loss of beauty. We don't always look our best, AND one day our best will be downright ugly and unsightly. More than that, it's already that way. Only our minds are trained not to pay attention to that. We are taken with beauty, youthfulness, health, and all the things we like. These things disappoint us.

• Moreover, it isn't just that they're disappointing, they're illusory as well. They seem permanent when in fact they're impermanent (passing away at every moment) and impersonal (seemingly me and mine but actually not under my control, not doing as I wish, not behaving as I would have them behave). These the Buddha called the Three Universal Marks of Existence.

In the better worlds, do they suffer, too?

In these things we cannot find fulfillment and satisfaction and rest. There are better worlds, better states, better planes of existence, and the Buddha does NOT advocate them. He taught that these exalted worlds, too, will disappoint, are beset by loss and decline, that we will meet with the results of our deeds (karma) even there, which will bring us back here and worse. Many of our unskillful deeds will drags to worse states of existence. Who's got time for that? We're living it up right now. I don't want to know that, I don't want to think about that, I don't want that to be true. Who's the stick in the mud bringing that up? Killjoy!

The Buddha offered something that wouldn't disappoint, wouldn't depend on rebirth -- in any world, on any plane of existence. Because, you see, once one knows the cause of the problem, one can do something about it. But even more fundamental is to know the problem. What's the problem?

• Who is free from this problem? First stage

Suffering (dukkha, disappointment, unsatifactoriness, woe, ill) is the problem! That is mentioned first just as a good doctor in diagnosing a patient would point out, "You see, you got this big mass killing you. What caused it was [insert cause, probably bad eating]. What can be done about is we can remove the cause and cure you. What being cured would mean is this state of health. Can anyone guess what that state of freedom from suffering, freedom from disease, freedom from liability to future suffering is called?

• Hint: Kurt Cobain, who suffered a lot heard about it, became a Buddhist in his head, and thought it would be a cool name for his new grunge group. Then Courtney Love ruined his life, allegedly, not that he was helping himself much with the quick fixes trying to patch up all his suffering, depression, and woe.

It's not clear why people jump the gun and get upset with the Buddha, an ancient teacher who lived about 30 centuries ago. A little investigation would clear things up immediately. Let's see if we can't dig up his own words because, after all, he defined suffering/dukkha so everyone would know what problem he was talking about exactly:

There's a problem and there's a solution.

As the first of the Four Truths that lead to awakening/enlightenment and the second of the Three Universal Characteristics of Existence, the term "suffering" or dukkha is not limited to painful experience but refers to the unsatisfactory nature and the general insecurity of all conditioned phenomena [things that depend on supports for their existence] which, on account of their impermanence, are ALL liable to suffering.

This includes also pleasurable experience, what we cling to, what we temporarily have or possess, what we are trying to extract pleasure, satisfaction, and fulfillment from.

So "unsatisfactoriness" or "liability to suffering" or "incapable of fulfilling" would be better translations of dukkha. Therefore, the first ennobling truth does not deny the existence of pleasurable experiences, as is sometimes wrongly assumed by Westerners. This is illustrated by the following sutra texts: 

"Seeking satisfaction [fulfillment, pleasure] in the world [the world here means all states of becoming, rebirth, rearising, being], meditators, I pursued my way. Such satisfaction in the world I found. Insofar as satisfaction exists in the world, I have well perceived it by wisdom.

"Seeking misery in the world, meditators, I pursued my way. Such misery in the world I found. Insofar as misery exists in the world, I have well perceived it by wisdom.

This is better than clinging, release by wisdom

"Seeking ESCAPE [release, freedom] from the world, meditators, I pursued my way. Such escape from the world I found. Insofar as an escape from the world exists, I have well perceived it by wisdom" (A.iii.105).

*"If there were no satisfaction to be found in the world, beings would not be attached [cling] to the world....

"If there were no misery to be found in the world, beings would not be repelled by the world....

"If there were no escape from the world, beings could never escape from it" (A.iii.106).