Why are all y'all so obsessed with HAIR?

Ananda (Dharma Buddhist Meditation), Seven, Ashley Wells, Pfc. Sandoval, Wisdom Quarterly

HAIR became a phenomenon then a movie. It was originally a stage musical, a play. As such, it has a libretto or the stage directions, script, and lyrics. Here's a sample of a good Buddhist part of HAIR. Everyone's heard its songs, but how many of us have seen them in context? What the Altadena Music Theatre has done with the play is mind blowing. That's why we care so much. The musical is about everything we care about: spirituality, awakening, meditation, war, peace, establishment lies, entheogenic plants, nonconformity, questioning, free love, the Sixties, sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll... The movie is not great, but the songs and script are golden.

(CLAUDE lands in a Vietnamese field. ORIENTAL CRICKET MUSIC: He crouches as TWO VIETNAMESE NATIVES cross, pursued by and American SOLDIER carrying an M-1 rifle. From offstage, we hear a loud voice).

WASHINGTON (BERGER): "Revolution…revolution…"

(Enter BERGER from wings, or down and aisle, on horseback, wearing a powdered wig, and tri-cornered hat askew, with very long dark-blue velvet cape trailing after HIM, held up by bloody, bandaged, RAGGLE TAGGLE TROOP of 5 or 6)

WASHINGTON (cont’d): "Hut two three four. Hut two three four. Jump to it, lads. Kill the Redcoats. Into the Delaware, men! Grab your muskets for God, for Country, for Crown, for Freedom, for Liberation, for Mother." (Music out)

MESSENGER (WOOF): (Running on, beating a drum rather badly) "General Washington, General Washington, Your Highness!"

WASHINGTON (Slaps HIS face): "Practice!"

MESSENGER: "General Washington, news from the front. The word is retreat. Threat of attack."

(WASHINGTON flees, as INDIANS in warbonnets, with bows, attack)

INDIAN ONE: "Tonto say white man die." (Shoots)

INDIAN TWO: "Sitting Bull say, white man die." (Shoots)

INDIAN THREE: "Crazy Horse say, white man die." (Shoots)

INDIAN FOUR: "Little Beaver say, white man drop dead." (Shoots—all of WASHINGTON’S MEN are now dead)

(Gong. THEY all exit. We hear loud gongs. 1,000-YEAR-OLD MONK and 3 BUDDHIST MONKS enter in long saffron robes)

1,000-YEAR-OLD MONK: "ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GIVE UP ALL DESIRES. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY, “OM.” STAY HOME, SAY “OM.”

3 BUDDHIST MONKS (and TRIBE): "OM..."

1,000-YEAR-OLD MONK: "Nice, nice, nice, very nice. (Sings) "OM, OM ON THE RANGE, AND EAT LOTS OF FRUIT AND BE CUTE. BE HAPPY GO LUCKY, EV’RYONE SHOULD BE BUDDHA." (Various gongs sound).

FIRST MONK (WOOF): "WE ARE ALL ONE."

THIRD MONK: "NO MORE WAR TOYS."

SECOND MONK (SHEILA): (As SHE pulls out gasoline can and starts pouring gas on the 1,000-YEAR-OLD MONK): "USE HIGH OCTANE AND FEEL THE TIGER IN YOUR TANK."

1,000-YEAR-OLD MONK: "HUSTLING IS AN HONEST PROFESSION."

(2ND MONK, SHEILA, sets OLD MONK on fire and HE, immolated in flames, runs offstage screaming. The 3 MONKS sit in meditation “Om'ing” as 3 NUNS enter).

THREE CATHOLIC NUNS: "HAIL MARY, FULL OF GRACE, THE LORD IS WITH THEE. BLESSED ART THOU AMONGST WOMEN AND BLESSED IS THE FRUIT OF THE LOOM. HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF GOD, PRAY FOR US SINNERS, NOW AND AT THE HOUR OF OUR DEATH."

(The lights come up on a SERGEANT, and a couple of PARENTS holding a suit on a hanger).

SERGEANT: "O’Reilly"

HUD: "Present, Sir."

MOM: "Momma loves you."

DAD: "I’ve waited a long time for this day, Son."

SERGEANT: "Palucci."

HIRAM: "Present and accounted for, Sir."

MOM: "Now write me a letter tonight."

DAD: "You don’t know how proud I am of you, Son, today."

SERGEANT: "Epstein."

PAUL: "Present, Sir."

MOM: "Give us a kiss."

DAD (Shoves a bill into pocket of suit). "Be a man."

SERGEANT: "Claude Bukowski."

CLAUDE: "Here, Sir."

TRIBE: (Singing) "RIPPED OPEN BY METAL EXPLOSION

CAUGHT IN BARBED WIRE

FIREBALL

BULLET SHOCK

BAYONET ELECTRICITY

SHRAPNELLED

THROBBING MEAT

ELECTRONIC DATA PROCESSING

BLACK UNIFORMS

BARE FEET

CARBINES

MAIL-ORDER RIFLES

SHOOT THE MUSCLES

256 VIETCONG CAPTURED

256 VIETCONG CAPTURED

(In a whisper)

IT’S A DIRTY LITTLE WAR

IT’S A DIRTY LITTLE WAR

THREE FIVE ZERO ZERO

TAKE WEAPONS UP AND BEGIN TO KILL

WATCH THE LONG LONG ARMIES DRIFTING HOME

(Now THEY freak out).

IT’S A DIRTY LITTLE WAR

IT’S A DIRTY LITTLE WAR

THREE FIVE ZERO ZERO

TAKE WEAPONS UP AND BEGIN TO KILL

WATCH THE LONG LONG ARMIES DRIFTING HOME

IT’S A DIRTY LITTLE WAR

IT’S A DIRTY LITTLE WAR

THREE FIVE ZERO ZERO

TAKE WEAPONS UP AND BEGIN TO KILL

WATCH THE LONG LONG ARMIES DRIFTING HOME

RIPPED OPEN BY METAL EXPLOSION

CAUGHT IN BARBED WIRE

FIREBALL

BULLET SHOCK

BAYONET ELECTRICITY

SHRAPNELLED

THROBBING MEAT

ELECTRONIC DATA..."

RONNY & WALTER: "WHAT A PIECE OF WORK IS MAN

HOW NOBLE IN REASON

HOW INFINITE IN FACULTIES"

RONNY: "IN FORM AND MOVING HOW EXPRESS AND ADMIRABLE"

BOTH: "IN ACTION HOW LIKE AN ANGEL."

RONNY: "IN APPREHENSION HOW LIKE A GOD."

BOTH: "THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD

THE PARAGON OF ANIMALS."

RONNY: "I HAVE OF LATE

BUT WHEREFORE I KNOW NOT

LOST ALL MY MIRTH

THIS GOODLY FRAME

THE EARTH

SEEMS TO ME A STERILE PROMONTORY"

WALTER: "THIS MOST EXCELLENT CANOPY

THE AIR

LOOK YOU

THIS BRAVE O’ERHANGING FIRMAMENT."

BOTH: "THIS MAJESTICAL ROOF FRETTED WITH GOLDEN FIRE

WHY IT APPEARS NO OTHER THING TO ME

THAN A FOUL AND PESTILENT CONGREGATION OF VAPOURS

WHAT A PIECE OF WORK IS MAN

HOW NOBLE IN REASON."

TRIBE: "HOW DARE THEY TRY TO END THIS BEAUTY

HOW DARE THEY TRY TO END THIS BEAUTY

WALKING IN SPACE

WE FIND THE PURPOSE OF PEACE

THE BEAUTY OF LIFE

YOU CAN NO LONGER HIDE

OUR EYES ARE OPEN

OUR EYES ARE OPEN

OUR EYES ARE OPEN

OUR EYES ARE OPEN

WIDE WIDE WIDE"

(The [hallucinatory] “trip” is over). (Music out).

BERGER: "Claude…"

TRIBE: "Claude...Claude...Claude..."

CLAUDE: (Sits up). "What happened?"

BERGER: "Face reality, Shakespeare."

CLAUDE: "Berger, I feel lonely. Let’s go to Mexico, George."

BERGER: "I’ll go with you."

CLAUDE: "I want to sleep in the mushrooms and eat the sun. I know where it’s at."

SHEILA: "You know where it’s at!"

CLAUDE: (To BERGER): "I know where it’s at!"

BERGER: "I know where it’s at. We all know where it’s at."

CLAUDE: "I can’t make this moment to moment living on the streets."

BERGER: "I dig it. I dig it."

CLAUDE: "I don’t. I don’t." (HE starts painting HIS chest).

BERGER: "Putting on his peace paint, he said: 'On with the groovy revolution.'"

CLAUDE: "I don’t want to be a dentist or a lawyer or a bum or an IBM machine, or a rock ‘n’ roll hero, or a movie star. I just want to have lots of money."

BERGER: "I’m gonna go to India...float around...bake bread. Brownies...I’m gonna stay high. They’ll never get me. I’m gonna stay high forever."

CLAUDE: "I know what I want to be...invisible. I don’t need drugs. An invisible man, I could float around and slip into people’s minds and know exactly what they’re doing and what they’re thinking. I could go anywhere, do anything... I could perform miracles. That’s the only thing I want to do or be on this dirt."

BERGER: "He’s the Invisible Man!"

TRIBE: "Zap!"

(THEY all touch CLAUDE. Tower Clock strikes one, at the back of orchestra. CLAUDE looks out)

CLAUDE: "Oh, my God, it’s one o’clock."

BERGER: "I hate the world, don’t you?"

CLAUDE: "I hate the world, I hate the winter, I hate these streets."

BERGER: "I wish that it would snow at least."

CLAUDE: "I wish it was the biggest snowstorm. Blizzards come down in sheets. Come on! Mountains, rivers, oceans, forests, rabbits, cover everything in beautiful white holy snow, and I could hide out a hermit and hang on a cross and eat cornflakes."

SHEILA: "Tomorrow morning, at dawn, we will take our heads down to the U.S. Army induction center for an Exorcism of the Khaki. We’re going to yip out all the bad vibrations -- yip, yip, yip, yip, -- and we’re going to yip up the sun -- yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yipeeeee! (To CLAUDE, who is now climbing the tower). "Claude, c’mon down and join the tribe."

CLAUDE: (HE comes down). "Are we all going someplace together?"

TRIBE: "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

WOOF: "I’m going home."

BERGER: "C’mon, let’s go."

CLAUDE: "Tonight is the last night of the world. We stick together." (Music starts vamp for next number).

(Claude exits during song)

TRIBE: "Look at the moon, look at the moon, look at the moon…" (Sings)

MALE SOLO: "GOOD MORNING, STARSHINE

THE EARTH SAYS HELLO

YOU TWINKLE ABOVE US

WE TWINKLE BELOW

GOOD MORNING STARSHINE

YOU LEAD US ALONG

MY LOVE AND ME

AS WE SING

OUR EARLY MORNING SINGING SONG

ALL

GLIDDY GLUP GLOOPY

NIBBY NABBY NOOPY

LA LA LA LO LO

SABBA SIBBY SABBA

NOOBY ABBA NABBA

LEE LEE LO LO

TOOBY OOBY WALLA

BOOBY ABBA NABBA

EARLY MORNING

SINGING SONG..."

• Hair SBHS Libretto (squarespace.com)