Einstein versus the Irishman (a joke)

Dhr. Seven, Pat Macpherson, Jen Bradford, Wisdom Quarterly; Family Guy; Ben Pearson

You think you're so smart, do you?

One may say the Irish ain't a too bright, but it's a hasty conclusion for right-thinking peoples. Who's to say what smart is? Cunning over knowledge, sagacity over wisdom. Others may be quick witted like the damn Brits, but in the long run, in the grand scope of things, who be the monkey, who the Darwin?

One day Einstein was invited to Ireland to receive a scientific award, like most other nations were handing him. He was nervous to fly but thought he'd keep his mind off the dangers of transatlantic flight by distracting himself with good conversation with his seatmate, a simple Irish farmer scientist, studying manure and agricultural production rates.

Albert introduced himself and offered to play a game of mental skill with his seatmate, Mic, during the flight. "Not interested," said the Irish scientist. "Me own country thinks you've got the biggest noggin and are the smartest fellow under the holy firmament. I'm not risking a wager with the size yer cabbage."

Einstein, desperate for the distraction and challenge, ups the ante, suggesting: "Look here, my good fellow. You ask me anything. IF I can't answer, I'll pay you 500 pounds. I'll ask you whatever I like, but if YOU can't answer, you just give me 5 pounds."

The old farmer perks up at the prospect: "Now, let me see if I've got this quite straight, Einstein. I ask you, YOU can't answer, you lose 500, whereas you ask me, if I can't answer, I only lose a fiver?"

Police interceptor REACTS to police on Family Guy

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"That's right," Einstein says. "I think it's reasonable given my peerless faculties and ability to discern ANY problem in the universe. Plus, it'll make this flight go faster. Go on, try it. Ask me ANYTHING."

The Irishman gets a wry twinkle in his eye and, wishing to get to his, puts this question to Einstein: "What goes up a mountain on three legs in the morning but returns on four legs in the evening?" He chuckles and tucks in for a long exposition of sleep.

Einstein immediately pulls out a physics textbook and starts thumbing through the pages then checks the index. Finding nothing, he pulls out scratch paper and begins to construct a formula then begins to graph the problem and derive the square roots of the number of legs involved, all to no avail. He closes his eyes and holds his breath, waiting for a sudden flash of insight on a new calculus. Nothing. Then he nearly faints. Midway through the flight, with a determined look on his face, he wakes up the scientist farmer, and hands him 500 pounds.

The Irishman smiles. He takes the money, puts it in his breast pocket, places his hand over it, turns, and goes back to sleep.

Einstein reviews his math, realizing he was going about the problem all wrong. He proceeds to come up with a new calculus until he feels he's almost on the verge of something but peters out. He sits staring forward for hours, grimaces, and turns toward the window to suck his thumb when suddenly it dawn on him: He hasn't asked his question.

As the plane begins its descent onto the Emerald Isle, he nudges the farmer and says, "Now it's my turn to ask YOU something."

The scientist farmer straightens up his chair, rubs his eyes, says, "Ask me ANYTHING."

Einstein pauses. He can only think of one thing he actually is dying to know: "What is it -- what walks up the mountain in the morning on three legs only to return down the mountain in the evening on four legs?"

The scientist farmer crinkles his nose, ponders the question, then takes a deep breath. He holds it. Finally, nearly suffocating himself, he exhales and reaches into his breast pocket. He pulls out the 500 pounds, peels off a fiver, and hands it to Einstein.