Trend: wearing Maxi Pads on right ear?

How did crooked businessman, TV show real estate baron (The Apprentice), and landlord Don John Trump become a billionaire? It must have been all those good business ideas:

• 

  Trump Bandage for sale

  starting a "Trump University" to teach business but bilking the students dumb enough to sign up and pay to hear trivial advice, a phony institution that got shut down,
• selling overpriced Trump Bibles (one book he's never looked through),
• trying to sell gold colored Kanye-style tennis shoes he's never worn,
• promoting a ghostwritten book though he's never read it (The Art of the Deal by Tony Schwartz), gaudy Trump merch... Oh, wait.

VIDEO: Joe Concha slams Ari Melber for calling Trump's bandage a 'spectacle': 'Go to hell'

They love me. Everyone loves me. It's love.

It was his father's money given to him to do his dad's business. But after learning how to be a slumlord from his hideous father, it's been all Donny since then. Now how can he capitalize from this shooting? If he can just get the Maxi Pads corporation (Always®) interested in a business partnership.

Sometimes he tells the truth, like in 1998 (People)

Or he can wear a giant neck brace at the RNC and sue the Secret Service with the help of some ambulance chasers? But most attorneys won't come near him since it is well known that he doesn't pay his legal bills. If only there were a way, maybe start a trend of oversized red ties or ridiculous wigs. There has to be something. Just give him time and he'll come up with something for the art of the hustle.

• Fact-checking Day 2 of the Republican National Convention 2024 (Washington Post)
• LGBTQ flags and quinoa: The liberal Virginia enclave where VP pick J.D. Vance lives

Future First Lady Usha Vance and U.S. President J.D. Vance (prediction)

JD, are these dummy Republicans cheering for me? I can't hear so well, my eardrum. - Yes, DJ.