Jimmy Kimmel: Oprah, Trump, Daily Show

Trump WON’T stop pushing pet eating lies, Oprah surprises audience, Clooney and Pitt help Jimmy avenge his hatred of Matt Damon

(Jimmy Kimmel Live) Sept. 17, 2024: The big news last night was that Diddy got arrested, Donald took a break from protecting American geese to launch a new cryptocurrency scam, dumb philanderer Don Jr. (fiancée of California Gov. Gavin Newsom ex Kimberly "Yikes What Happened To Your Face" Guilfoyle) was photographed at a dark bar in Palm Beach canoodling with a sexy woman who is not his fiancée, his use of air quotes has been off the charts lately, crass and vulgar new Trump concubine Laura Loomer wants to make it very clear that she is not a f'n her way to the top Kamala-Willie-Brown-style with DJ Trump, JD Vance and DJ Trump are staying on top of Nutjob Mountain with nonsense about Haitians in Springfield, Ohio, eating pets, George Clooney and Brad Pitt help Jimmy take care of a very serious situation (settling an old beef with Matt Damon for getting up on Kimmel's then-girlfriend the super smart and funny comedienne Sarah Silverman, and there's a special surprise visit from Oprah Winfrey who helps an audience member register to vote on National Voter Registration Day. Registering to vote is easy! Just ask Taylor Swift on social media. Go to iamavoter.com so we can have a democracy (or at least the better pretense of one). Subscribe to get the latest: bit.ly/JKLSubscribe. #Kimmel

Trump's dubious attempt to blame political violence on Democrats' rhetoric as he keeps calling Kamala a 'fascist'

(The Daily Show) Sept. 17, 2024: Ronny Chieng on the second assassination attempt on Donald "Hezbollah Pager" Trump, which has the Secret Service [or FBI?] scrambling, the mainstream media up in arms, and Ohio Senator (and VP hopeful) JD Vance struggling to find a Democrat to blame. Plus, an exclusive clip of G-Joe Biden’s surprising phone call to Trump following the "oops, sorry we tried to unalive you again" incident. #DailyShow #Trump #RonnyChieng

• George Clooney
• Caitlin Olson
• Brad Pitt-Jolie-Aniston
• Smashing Pumpkins
• Oprah Winfrey
• Matt Damon
• Donald J. Trump (on The Apprentice) proclaiming his love and close association with fellow accused sexual abuser, harasser, and pimp Sean P. Diddy "Lubricated Freak Off" Puff Daddy Combs
• Clean teeth (getsonosparkle.com)
• Alcohol-free buzz (try.drinkbrez.com)