The Big Debate: Lawyer vs. Weird Guy

Jimmy Kimmel breaks down the presidential debate between Donald and Kamala

(Jimmy Kimmel Live) Sept. 10, 2024: Jimmy breaks down the debate of the decade between Vice President Harris and felon Trump, and it was quite the beating, Trump spent the day posting cat memes after a debunked story that Haitian immigrants are eating pets, VP candidate JD Vance can’t stop bringing attention to these stories, Trump keeps intentionally mispronouncing Kamala Harris’ name, he seems to KNOW and NOT KNOW a lot of things, and Jimmy checks in with a panel of political experts for their thoughts on the debate: Gavin Newsom (Josh Meyers), MyPillow Mike Lindell (James Adomian), and JD Vance (Haley Joel Osment). #Kimmel

TOO CONFIDENT? We got him on the run, Girl! Just stick to the script; watch him go mental.

I'm a fire-exhausting dragon waiting to burn her

Don't expect too much from Kami. That way we can only be delightfully surprised that she studied and prepared and did method acting with a coach and a lookalike Trump to prepare. Once upon a time, in a campaign he was losing, Trump debated his female opponent. He couldn't beat her on substance, as hated as she was, so he walked up behind her at the podium like Jaws the Shark to throw her off her game. It sure worked. He's a nut and a scoundrel and has tricks up his sleeve. All he does all day is argue with people. He doesn't play fair. He just plays to win. He's a liar.

Excuse me, Sir. I'm speaking, OK? Thank you.

She's a lying lawyer, and her grift is the law, where she gets to plan tactics with reasonable opponents, other lawyers, not sociopathic nuts. She doesn't stand a chance. She's about to be mowed down by an orange weedwhacker. The only reason she didn't blow her big speech at the DNC is because she was reading what she had memorized. How will that skill in reciting prepared comments help her here? She gets softball questions all the time. If they are ever uncomfortable, she cackles. The orange monster gets hit in the back of the head with a 2x4 daily, and he seems to like it. It has made him an ugly American, a New Yorker, a con, a used car salesman with no shame or boundaries, no limits or conscience. We fear she will be so humiliated and out on her butt like her boss was the last time he went up against the ginger j*ck*ss. Beware, Kami. Tap out as soon as you can and turn it over to Tim. You're in over your attorney head.

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• The blood sport begins 6:00 pm (Pacific), 9:00 pm (Eastern)

Meet the writer behind those campaign fundraising emails clogging our inboxes | The Daily Show

(The Daily Show) Sept. 10, 2024: Meet campaign email ghostwriter Susan Callipenni-McIntyre (Desi Lydic), the keyboard-pushing, politician-impersonating literary genius behind the many, many desperate messages asking for just $5 to save America. #DailyShow #DesiLydic #email

Kamala and Trump prepare to debate, Dick Cheney endorses, JD Vance in pool

(The Daily Show) Sept. 9, 2024: With the election rapidly approaching, Jordan Klepper catches up on the latest stories in the presidential race, including recent telephone polling favoring Trump, JD Vance swimming in a t-shirt, and Dick Cheney’s surprising endorsement of Kamala. Plus, as Harris and Trump prepare for their first debate with starkly different approaches, Grace Kuhlenschmidt joins to break down the Republican candidate’s predictable “weaving” tactics. #DailyShow #JordanKlepper #debate

Trump says he wants to lock up late night hosts, fails to prepare to debate over-prepped Kamala because he'll just wing it like usual, and Melania has a new book

(Jimmy Kimmel Live) Sept. 9, 2024: There has been an intense heat wave here in Los Angeles (particularly the Valley), Jimmy sends guard Guillermo to check on his wax figure at Madame Toussard’s on Hollywood Boulevard to see if it’s holding up in this heat, football players have the option of wearing protective helmet bumpers this year, Kamala Harris and Donald Trump are going head-to-head in their first and only debate tomorrow night on ABC, there are various prop bets you can bet on from tie color to if they will shake hands, Trump had a very busy day yesterday posting a birthday wish to the Virgin Mary and endorsing Hulk Hogan’s beer, he is still worked up over the fact that Tim Walz keeps calling him "weird," California's Gov. Newsom's ex Kimberly Guilfoyle wowed a crowd at the Florida Republican Party Victory Dinner, Trump has been hammering the idea that Democrats are randomly chopping off kids’ private parts, Rolling Stone published a report that Donald has tried to declare anti-Trump material broadcast by late night shows as illegal, Melania (more Barron's mom than Mrs. Trump) has a new book coming out, we have a winner for tonight’s award for Excellence in Reporting and Apple gives a surprisingly honest sales pitch at their recent summit. #Kimmel

• Lincoln Project (commercial); Jimmy Kimmel Live!, 9/9/24; Desi Lydic, Jordan Klepper, The Daily Show; Eds., Wisdom Quarterly