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| As Women's History Month wraps up, who can answer an innocent child's question? |
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| But I was going to start taking care of HER from now on! |
GIRLS on HBO, is it helping the cause of women or harming? Hold on, shhh-shhh, it's coming on.
Looking Back at the TomKat
News of Tom Cruise, Suri, and Katie Holmes' divorce broke on June 29, 2012, one day after the actress filed paperwork to end their 5-year marriage. Let's look back at their history in a spotlight with Zimbio (photos, timeline). Scientology may be squirming, but not its leaders. The Thetan (a word L. Ron Hubbard defines as roughly equivalent to Buddhism's arhat, or free and clear/enlightened individual; some Scientologists define Hubbard as the Second Coming, the literal Buddha Maitreya) Cruise unfortunately is not a great businessman: He signed a billion year contract with the cult-like organization, which sounds almost as bad as selling one's soul to the Father of All Lies in Christian lore.
Actor James Franco ("Oz") is now a thuggish pimp (turning out former Disney Corp. Mouseketeer-tricks like Selena Gomez and kissing buddy Vanessa Hudgens), but he used to be a pornographer. The good kind. A documentarian of sex. And it cost him says the Vancouver Sun. Of course, Franco does more than create documentaries. He turns out performances that run the gamut.
Happy Birthday, Stars!
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| Innocent Mouseketeer Selena Gomez (wwtdd.com) |
Justin "Thug Life" Bieber is at it AGAIN, wearing gas mask disguises, going shirtless, talking S, exposed for having cheated on Selena with Rihanna, and getting into fights. He failed the fans abroad, arrived late to lackluster shows, and came back to suburban Los Angeles to test drive his newly delivered Ferrari.
A neighbor, not happy about the most popular boy in the world going 100 mph on the quiet streets of Calabasas, told him to stop. The Beebs spit on him and threatened his life. Police are investigating the battery. He just turned 19 and recently lost his race car to loaning it to rapping drivers with few driving skills.
As Elle Macpherson and Kevin Ryder (of Kevin & Bean fame) turn half-a-century, The Beebs' disreputable friends have turned his California mansion into a den of pot-smoking iniquity, which we guarantee he knows nothing about. And reformed thief Lindsay Lohan is at it again, except this time she's 100% innocent because she would hate to end up in jail like billionairess Paris Hilton. Sadly as a result of heartbreak or egomania, The Beebs, a Canadian national, has become a "national embarrassment."
A neighbor, not happy about the most popular boy in the world going 100 mph on the quiet streets of Calabasas, told him to stop. The Beebs spit on him and threatened his life. Police are investigating the battery. He just turned 19 and recently lost his race car to loaning it to rapping drivers with few driving skills.
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| "National embarrassmentt" |
The least "country" popstar there ever was, TayTay performs a dubstep version of "I Knew You Were Trouble" at the 2013 Brit Awards.
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| Tadolf Swiftler: BULLY |
Lady Gaga, crippled but still kicking at 26, is taking a dive in the popularity polls. But she'll make a comeback once heat from twin 21-year-olds like Taylor Swift and Adele dies down. Taylor is in over her head attacking professional comediennes like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. She's still bitter about losing a kid Kennedy, but it's so much worse losing a fellow popstar. She should have known Harry Styles was trouble, trouble, trouble when he walked in. Poor Harry! He took a shoe in One Direction straight to the Styles.
One Direction's Harry takes a fan's shoe to the Styles. (Ouch!)
But, allegedly, that shoe provided him more action than Tadolf ever did. She can't hold down a boytoy because she's a goody two-sh... or, as current chart topper Jimi Hendrix (Billboard) might say, she's never "been experienced." True or not, that's her Hollywood reputation. Britney Spears falsely-enjoyed the same reputation for a long time. Thank you, Disney Corp. Where do you find them?
Why won't Whites stop committing crimes? Not that race has anything to do with crime.
Ke$ha is an all-American Satanist
Is it satanic? Yes but "Ke$ha is to satanism as Twilight is to vampires" (Joshua Frazer).
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| Mara has many minions, daughters, Cupids... |
(Ken Layne, TheAwl) Don't live fast but do Die Young: This is the new mainstream occultism. Ke$ha! "TiK ToK" was catchier, sleazier, more honest and more fun than Lady Gaga, but the pop tastemakers mostly dismissed Ke$ha as basically the garbage monster behind Winkies. Now Ke$ha has another sleazy dance-pop song, memorable and forgettable, and almost vulgar. The video
was released last week and has just begun to swirl around the
paranoid-paranormal websites.
People are outraged by the occult sex
magick dance orgy held within a Catholic Church at night. This is a Black Mass,
with Ke$ha as High Priestess. And it looks much better and is so much
more entertaining than the dreary old Black Mass of the Old World
Occult. Satanism isn't about a literal Satan, because who cares? It's about living. It's the way we live now! The Old Satanism involved a lot of heavy black robes and
biblical-sounding mumbo jumbo. The Black Mass is just a reversal of the
regular Mass, and all of its emotional power comes from the illicit
shock/delight in reversing Catholic/Christian symbolism. Light is dark,
below is above... If you lack even a lingering belief in the
traditions being parodied, the only sexy thing is the brief nudity... More
What's it like to be a star? Ke$ha reveals all with the help of MTV on "My Beautiful Life."
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| Ke$ha shows off new penis suit (FFS) |
What's it like to be a star? Ke$ha reveals all with the help of MTV on "My Beautiful Life."
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| I said I was sorry. |
Why do Kristen Stewart do how she do? Who can say? Here she herself explains, while the Hollywood gossip machine pens its guesses: Her life wasn't "crazy" enough. She needed more drama, more chaos, more attention. She's too young to play it safe, too old to walk away.
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| My boyfriend doesn't understand me. |
O, KStew, will you never learn? RPattz is running around on a set far, far away, not answering texts, not taking calls. What's a jilted lover to do to grab the limelight again and say to the world, "Hey, look at me!"? How about going out with Katy Perry's female assistant? Lesbian? Not!
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| Pornographer's Dec.-Jan. marriage |
- Life with Playboy's Hugh Hefner, 86, and wife Crystal Harris, 26
- Mounted Police discover Marijuana Forest
- Topless women protest homophobia in Brazil (FEMEN.org)
- PHOTOS: Plastic Surgery Disasters!
- VIDEO: The One Smell Women Can't Resist!
- Canada hates Justin "Nat'l Embarrassment" Bieber
- Kim "hot mama" Kardashian (Instagram)
- John Mayer dumped Katy Perry because she's FAT
- Sizrup? Li'l Wayne admits he's epileptic
- Billionaire says America headed for financial ruin
- Tens of thousands of North Koreans rally
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| Hey, kids, be sure to catch me on Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards! (vancouversun.com) |
Tired of shooting stars? Watch falling stars
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| Tweens can't get enough of Taydolf: 10 Things We Didn't Know (tasteofcountry.com). And Swiftler reminds us that if you are not for her, you are against women. At least that's what Katie Couric told her. We hopehere's a special place in heaven reserved for dummies. |