Two weekends too much Coachella (review)

Ashley Wells, Ananda M., Dhr. Seven, Crystal Quintero, Pat Macpherson, Wisdom Quarterly; Cardi B; Beyonce; Greta; Eminem; Opus Magnum; Toyin Yates; Hip-Hop Lately; Hip Hop Universe

We're not saying it stinks. We're meditating.

This ain't no Woodstock. Pay extra. Get a tent. It's worth the extra cost once you realize all "Coachella" is is walking around on a giant lawn in the scalding desert. It has a nightly curfew and closes. The party continues in your sweaty sleeping bag, where most of the fun happens if it happens at all. Tracked by RFID chips in wristbands you can't remove. Drones overhead keep everyone on The Reservation. The bottled water and barfy food were great, if a bit overpriced. That's what plastic's for. With 200 acts to see and only hopes of catching about 10 or 11, a fraction of a fraction, it's no wonder some brave hearts come both weekends. When you plan ahead to see the star you want to see, there's a long line ahead of you. So be prepared to barge in and be squished out of breath or stand idly a mile back watching the big screens wondering why watching it online via Wisdom Quarterly wouldn't be a whole lot better and a whole lot cheaper. Cardi B, Mason, Greta Van Fleet, Queen B, Destiny's Child, Solange, The MnM Clone, Dr. Dre, 50 Cent, 2Pac, and good old fashioned rave EDM in tents, that's what Boachella has become.