Disappointment: addicted to SEX (cartoon)

Access To Insight based on misleading Ven. Thanissaro translations; Seth MacFarlane, Family Guy; Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven, Crystal Quintero, Seth Auberon (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

WARNING: Graphic references to sex and violence in Family Guy's take on American culture!

If sex is the "best thing," and let's just for the sake of argument say it is, then what does that say about sensuality and samsara that it (sex) is disappointing? It is disappointing, just like all of the things we try to use to find fulfillment, satisfaction, satiation, and solace in this world without end called samsara.

But there is an end, a cessation of suffering, an end to suffering, an incomprehensible nirvana. Why would we ever seek it out unless we first realized that nothing here ever does satisfy us and leave us fulfilled?

Cristina sings that famous sexy old song, "Is That All There Is?"

 

"Disappointment" is one definition of the unsatisfactory (unfulfilling) nature of sex and all sensual pursuits. But no single English word adequately captures the full range and subtlety of the crucial Buddhist term dukkha.

Many translations are proposed ("ill," "unsatisfactoriness," "woe," "suffering," etc.) Each explains part of it while failing to suggest other crucial parts.

There is value in not letting ourselves get too comfortable with any single translation, because the entire thrust of Buddhist practice is the broadening and deepening our understanding of dukkha until its roots are exposed and eliminated once and for all.

One helpful rule of thumb is that as soon as we think we've found the single best translation for the word, let's think again. No matter how we describe it, dukkha is always broader, subtler, and more unsatisfactory than that.
 
The Buddha's definition

"Birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, death is dukkha; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are dukkha; meeting with the unloved is dukkha; being separated from the loved is dukkha; not getting what is wanted is dukkha. In brief, the Five Aggregates clung to as a self are dukkha." — SN 56.11
 
Sariputra's elaboration

[Ven. Sariputra:] "What now, friends, is the noble truth of suffering (disappointment)? Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, death is suffering; sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, and despair are suffering; meeting with the unloved is suffering; being separated from the loved is suffering; not getting what is wanted is suffering. In short, the Five Aggregates clung to as a self are suffering.

"And what is birth? Whatever rebirth, taking rebirth, descent, again coming-to-be, coming-forth, appearance of aggregates, and acquisition of [sense] bases of various [kinds of] beings in this or that world of beings [in any of the countless worlds in the 31 Planes of Existence], that is called birth.

"And what is aging? Whatever aging, decrepitude, brokenness, graying, wrinkling, decline of life-force, weakening of the faculties of the various beings in this or that world of beings, that is called aging.

"And what is death? Whatever dying, deceasing, passing away, breaking up, disappearance, death, completion of time, break up of the aggregates, casting off of the body, interruption in the life faculty of the various beings in this or that world of beings, that is called death.

"And what is sorrow? Whatever sorrow, sorrowing, sadness, inward sorrow, inward sadness of anyone suffering from misfortune, touched by a painful thing, that is called sorrow.

"And what is lamentation? Whatever crying, grieving, lamenting, weeping, wailing, misery of anyone suffering from misfortune, touched by a painful thing, that is called lamentation."

And what is pain? Whatever is experienced as bodily pain, bodily discomfort, pain or discomfort born of bodily contact, that is called pain.

"And what is distress? Whatever is experienced as mental pain, mental discomfort, pain or discomfort born of mental contact, that is called distress.

"And what is despair? Whatever despair, despondency, desperation of anyone suffering from misfortune, touched by a painful thing, that is called despair."

And what is the suffering of being connected to the unloved? There is the case where undesirable, unpleasing, unattractive sights, sounds, aromas, flavors, or tactile sensations occur to one; or one has connection, contact, relationship, interaction with those who wish one ill, who wish for one's harm, who wish for one's discomfort, who wish one no security from the yoke. This is called the suffering of being connected to the unloved.

"And what is the suffering of being separated from the loved? There is the case where desirable, pleasing, attractive sights, sounds, aromas, flavors, or tactile sensations do not occur to one; or one has no connection, no contact, no relationship, no interaction with those who wish one well, who wish for one's benefit, who wish for one's comfort, who wish one security from the yoke, nor with one's mother, father, brother, sister, friends, companions, or relatives. This is called the suffering of being separated from the loved.

"And what is the stress of not getting what is wanted? In beings subject to rebirth, the wish arises, 'O, may we not be subject to rebirth, and may rebirth not come to us.' But this [freedom from rebirth] is not to be achieved by wanting. This is the suffering of not getting what is wanted.

"In beings subject to aging... illness... death... sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, and despair, the wish arises, 'O, may we not be subject to aging... illness... death... sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, and despair, and may aging... illness... death... sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, and despair not come to us.' But this is not to be achieved by wanting. This is the stress of not getting what is wanted. — MN 141
 
A contemporary definition

We're not bunnies. We're human

Dukkha is: disturbance, irritation, dejection, worry, despair, fear, dread, anguish, anxiety; vulnerability, injury, inability, inferiority; sickness, aging, decay of body and faculties, senility; pain/pleasure; excitement/boredom; deprivation/excess; desire/frustration, suppression; longing/aimlessness; hope/hopelessness; effort, activity, striving/repression; loss, want, insufficiency/satiety; love/lovelessness, friendlessness; dislike, aversion/attraction; parenthood/childlessness; submission/rebellion; decision/indecisiveness, vacillation, uncertainty.

— Francis Story in Suffering, in Vol. II of The Three Basic Facts of Existence (Kandy: Buddhist Publication Society, BPS.lk)

Problem-Solution

The Buddha said, "Formerly as now, it is only dukkha I describe and the cessation of dukkha." — SN 22.86

 
Three kinds of dukkha

Date my three daughters, Siddhartha!

"There are these three forms of suffering, my friend: the suffering of pain, the suffering of fabrication (formations), and the suffering of change. These are the three forms of suffering."...

[Jambukhadika the Wanderer:] "What is the path, what is the practice for the full comprehension of these forms of suffering?"
 

"Precisely this ennobling Eightfold Path, my friend: right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. This is the path, this is the practice for the full comprehension of these forms of suffering." — SN 38.14

• What is the First Ennobling Truth?