Stoner Thoughts (comedy)

C&C; Seth Auberon, Ananda (DBM), Crystal Q., Wisdom Quarterly; Johnny Ice 'n Crew (KLOS)

WARNING: Vulgar and crass wrong speech promoting or making light of intoxication and plant abuse!

What about a Woodstock w/o Limp Bizkit?

Living in Los Angeles is like living on Planet High with a bunch of num-nums going about their day in a car-dependent megalopolis. Now 37 states have legalized medical marijuana.

Is it a good idea just because it's less harmful than alcohol? The productivity of alcoholics is better (for capitalism) than that of potheads. Which is sad because hemp can save the world, but weed will waste it.

Back in the Sixties, on the way to Summer Jam, NY, when hitchhiking was a safe pastime.

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Thoughts at the dispensary that kinda make you wonder: If I grab a bee, and you come by, what do I have in my eye? Beauty. "'Beauty,' why?" Because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.

• Why is it called a building if it's already been built?
• Are ice cubes floating in a pool of their own blood?
• Our teeth are the only part of our skeleton we clean.
• Did you realize that the only letters you need to spell panda are p and a?
• Being jacked is good but having jacked teeth is bad.
• If someone dies in a living room, is it still a living room?
• If oranges are orange, why are limes not called greens?
• If I'm a security guard at the Samsung Store, does that make me a Guardian of the Galaxy?
• What came first, the chicken or the egg? The proto-chicken!
• When we yawn, do people who are deaf think we're screaming?
• If a shadow is 2D, and we're 3D, and time is the 4th dimension, are we the shadow of time?
• What's the longest word in the English language? Smiles. Because there's a mile between the S's.
• If a morgue worker dies, s/he still needs to come into work one more time.
• The youngest picture of you is also the oldest picture of you.
• I don't know how to act my age. I've never been this old.