Mother's Day: The Buddha's Three Mothers

Amber Larson and Dhr. Seven, Ashley Wells (ed.), Wisdom Quarterly (AN 2.32) UPDATED

Mother's Day in America in 12 comics from The New Yorker (newyorker.com)

 

The birth of Siddhartha with Mother Maya

The historical Buddha Prince Siddhartha Gautama had three mothers in his final rebirth when he made an end of all further rebirth and suffering.

Most people will have heard of Prince Siddhartha's second mother, his biological mother, Maha Maya Devi ("Great Queen Maya"). She was a queen among the Scythians/Shakyians, the first wife of his father [the rich Gandharan/Afghan chieftain] King Suddhodana, whose riches derived from the Silk Road Route through Kabul/Bamiyan that brought wealth, merchants, and spiritual travelers to the ancient faraway capital of Kapilavastu, the Buddha's hometown.

Birth mother: Queen Maha Maya Devi

Maya's beauty was like a "dream" or "magical illusion"; in fact, the name maya derives from the Sanskrit and Pali word for "illusion" (taken in Mahayana-Hinduism as māyā, two religions that so influenced one another as to be the same thing with different names for the same deities, one buddhas and the other avatars].

The Buddha goes up to Tavatimsa or the celestial World of the Thirty-Three to see his deceased mother, Maya, who descends with others from Tusita (the "Contented Heaven") to hear him teach.

.

We had a son! - Now the drama really begins.

Any illusion, of course, is fleeting. Queen Maya passed away seven days after giving birth to her only son Prince Siddhartha. It was no accident. There are reasons given for this in the back story -- the most spiritual being that she only volunteered for a human birth to give birth to him.

That motherly task done, Maya Devi returned to a more comfortable existence in the Tusita World. She benefitted greatly for this act (karma) in the World of the Thirty-Three, where the Buddha went to preach to her until she and the other beings present were awakened and freed from suffering. The Buddha was able to repay her for her generosity and help. As it turns out, we enter life knowing, on some deeper level, those individuals who play the role of parents, partners, relatives, friends, and enemies. But this is a truth bigger than most of us can easily digest or would be willing to accept. So the drama (lila) goes on.

• 

  Buddhism reached the Maya of Mesoamerica.

  The words "Maya" -- the Mexican Native Americans from Mesoamerica and Central America who crafted the Mayan Calendar -- and "Guatemala" both derive from the name of the Buddha's mother, whose surname is Gautama and mala (garland).
• Reference: American Rick Fields' How the Swan Came to the Lake: A Narrative History of Buddhism in America where these and many more connections are drawn showing Buddhism's arrival in the Americas long before the Conquistadors, Catholicism, and European Christianity.

Maya, Mariah (Mary), a queen in heaven

Mother Maya was reborn as a devaputra ("deva-offspring" or "reborn among devas") back in the Tusita World. Her former son, Prince Siddhartha, who years later became the Buddha, thanked and repaid her for her help in this very life by teaching her the liberating-Dharma, in the legendary narrative account of how the Abhidharma ("Higher Teaching") came to be.

Other devas from Tusita and elsewhere who were present in Sakka's celestial realm in space also got to hear the teaching. King Sakka, a stream-enterer and therefore a devoted follower of the Buddha, was most happy to host, the legend goes.

Our parents do so much for us that, according to the Buddha, the only way we can ever repay them is by teaching or leading them to the ennobling Dharma.

The Other Mothers

Foster mother: Maha Pajapati Gotami

Many will also have heard of the Buddha's foster or stepmother related by blood, Queen Mahā Pajāpatī Gotami (Sanskrit Gautami). As Mother Number 3, she was Queen Maya's sister and co-wife. She is famous because she became the world's first Buddhist nun then an enlightened one.

Both sisters were married to King Suddhodana. Pajapati stepped forward to care for the newborn Siddhartha to the detriment of her own two children -- her son, Nanda, the Buddha's brother (who shared a father, with sister-mothers, who nursed and adopted Siddhartha at the age of 7 days, which would seem to make her a little more than a foster mother or Nanda and Sundari Nanda half-siblings) and daughter, the Buddha's rarely mentioned half-sister, Beautifuld (Sundari) Nanda.

Queen Pajapati was the mother of these two royals, but it is said she gave up primary care of her biological children to nurse, care for, and raise Prince Siddhartha (the future Buddha), the firstborn heir to the Scythian throne in Kapilavastu.

 

Mother of his child: Princess Bimba (Yasodhara)

She is much more famous in this world than Maya because Pajapati (Sanskrit Prajapati) went on to become the first Buddhist nun. The Buddha's brother and sister also ordained and became enlightened.

This was in addition to Siddhartha's wife, Rahulamata ("Rahula's mother"), Princess Bimba Devi, much more popularly known as Yasodhara.

Rahula, Bimba, and Siddhartha

What we are never told as we hear the story of the Buddha's life repeated is the fact that Prince Siddhartha did not "abandon" his family.

Far from becoming a deadbeat dad, taking up a good ol' time in the wilderness as an extreme ascetic, he actually saved his family the only way he could: He first had to go off in search of enlightenment then come back awakened with answers and a solution to the problem of suffering. Then he led and encouraged his

• biological mother (Maya),
• biological father (Suddhodana),
• cousin-wife (Princess Yasodhara/Bimba Devi),
• second-son (Rahula [Ananda being the first, as some Buddhist traditions record]),
• half-brother (Nanda),
• half-sister (Sundari Nanda),
• foster mother (Pajapati),
• cousins (Scythian relatives referred to as Shakyian princes),
• extended family members (other Scythians in the palace compound of King Suddhodana) to liberation (moksha), to enlightenment or full awakening, and nirvana (complete freedom).

He remembered his biological mother and visited her where she was reborn. Such was the reverence of the Buddha for his parents, and many monastics followed suit. For example, there is the famous case of one of the Buddha's chief male disciples, the Brahmin Maha Moggallana, visiting his mother in hell to help her. The other chief male disciple, the Brahmin Ven. Sariputta, also had a whale of a time convincing his unbelieving mother who placed no faith in the Buddha.

The Buddha's former wife became an enlightened Buddhist nun and famous disputant called by various names to disguise her greatness: Rahula-mata, Bhaddakaccānā, and so on. is not the Buddha's mother. How could she be the Buddha's mother? She was their son Ven. Rahula's mother.

The First Mother: Nakulamata

Questionable quote (Lotusing/Flickr)

The Buddha's "first mother," Nakulamata, is a strange story of rebirth. One day the Buddha was walking down a road with his monastic disciples when he passed an elderly couple. The man, Nakulapita, called out to him, "Son! Your mother and I have been missing you! It has been a long time since you visited us!"

Kwan Yin as Mother Goddess (D)

The monastics thought this was very strange. Stranger still, the Buddha approached them and spoke to them in a very kindly way like a son full of gratitude. The monastics were confused.

Why is the teacher letting these strangers talk to him this way, addressing him as "son"?

The Buddha later explained that for 500 (which actually just means "many") lives this couple had indeed been his parents. Over and over, the karma of the three being such, they were born together. This woman raised him over and again. And here she was in his last life running into him apparently by chance but not really. This meeting was no accident; it was brought about by the force of karma.

The nuns and monks may have been surprised to hear who this couple was but, in fact, the Buddha taught something far more mindboggling:

So long is this "continued wandering on" through births and deaths called samsara that it is difficult to ever meet anyone with whom one has not already shared all relationships.

• Nakulamata ("Nakula's mother") was the wife of Nakulapitā ("Nakula's father"), householders from Suṁsumāragiri in the Bhagga country. When the Buddha visited their village and stayed at Bhesakalāvana (the forest grove nearby), they went to see him. They immediately fell at his feet, calling him “son,” asking why he had been away so long. It is said that they had been the Bodhisatta’s parents for 500 (which is figurative for "many") rebirths and his close relatives for many more. The Buddha taught them, and they became stream enters (the first stage of enlightenment, sotāpannas). The Buddha visited their village once more when they were old. They entertained him, speaking of their devotion to one another in this life and asking for a teaching to keep them likewise together (in a loving relationship) in the afterlife (in future lives). The Buddha referred to this in the assembly of the Monastic Saṅgha, declaring them to be the foremost in intimate companionship among his disciples. AN.i.26, AN.ii.61… (G.P. Malalasekera rom Pali Proper Names, edited by Wisdom Quarterly).
• Wisdomlib.org definition: Nakulapita
• Happily ever after and even after that (dharmatown.org)

Goddess of Compassion Kwan Yin (pinterest.com)

Look around; all those people have already been one's mother, father, and so on... How much gratitude do we have for them? How much do we owe them?

While this seems preposterous, it seems so only because we do not fathom or comprehend how long an aeon (kalpa) is, how many there have been, or how many times we have already been reborn, how many existences we have already lived and are yet to live, and how much we have already suffered as we yearn for more and more rebirth.

We have no idea what has been. For if we knew, we would not be so eager to continue to cycle and revolve in ignorance again and again.

In that final existence, the Bodhisattva (or Buddha-to-be) had taken rebirth in a special way to accomplish his goal of becoming a world-teacher, a Supremely Enlightened Teaching Buddha, and Maya had volunteered to serve this world-system in the capacity of giving birth to such a great being.

Chinese Madonna and child (Macao)

But here in the world, already existing, was the Bodhisattva's long-time mother, his mother many times over, and now she had again found him. Our mothers, even when they do not give birth to us this time, are all around (fathers, too).

Our nurturers are here, and still they nurture us -- sometimes they attack us perhaps due to their lack of understanding or our lack of gratitude -- and stranger still we, too, are former mothers and fathers of countless others. Such is the incomprehensible working out of karma (deeds), an imponderable (acinteyya) thing.
 
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms -- and we mean ALL of them including YOU, you dummy, from from Wisdom Quarterly. (You, yes you, male and female readers. We have all been a mom countless times!)