Friday, December 12, 2014

Science: Men are idiots, new study shows

New research confirms that men -- like Johnny Knoxville, pictured above in "Jackass 3D" -- are more likely than women to engage in idiotic behavior (Paramount Pictures).
  • An analysis of Darwin Award winners leads to discovery of Male Idiot Theory, aka MIT
  • QED: Men are idiots. 
  • How many male researchers does it take to prove that men are idiots? Four. 
You don't want to read this article, do ya?
Finally! A scientific explanation for Johnny Knoxville -- he of “Jackass” fame -- and the fans who keep him at his dangerous and moronic antics: Male Idiot Theory.
 
New research has rigorously tested Male Idiot Theory, which posits that men are idiots and are driven to take ridiculous risks despite the clear prospects for self-harm, and they do it for no defensible reason.

Happiness is overrated: It's better to be right, study finds
Happiness is overrated; it's better to be right, study finds (latimes.com).
 
Tee: Every woman is a riot
Newly published by the venerable British Medical Journal (in its annual BMJ Christmas issue), the landmark study has shown that Male Idiot Theory holds up under strictly scientific scrutiny.
 
While the latest research does confirm that males can be idiots, it fails to shed light on a larger mystery that has preoccupied this correspondent since girlhood, growing up in a household with six brothers: How did these idiots ever convince the non-idiot gender that they were somehow superior (and worthy of earning close to 30% more, on average, in the United States)? 
Ooh, now in new "medicinal" strength!
But I digress. The latest BMJ inquiry plumbs an important but little-known database to assess gender differences in an individual’s likelihood to engage in profoundly idiotic behavior: the Darwin Awards.
 
Winners of the Darwin Awards, which are handed out at random times and almost always posthumously, must be found to have died (or to have sterilized themselves) in the conduct of activity that is so stupid, pointless, and predictably self-destructive that they can truly be said to have done humanity a great service.

Ig Nobel Prize winners stop bleeding with pork, make sausage from poop
I bet if we tried, we could eat poop
By removing themselves from the human gene pool, the awards note, these honorees have done their part to eliminate impediments to the sustained survival of humankind (note that I do not write mankind). More

In defense of men
Male editors, Wisdom Quarterly; "Jackass"

Why you son of an Abercombie & Fitch, I will tear your head off and spit down your neck!
.
What can we say in defense of males in general and men in particular? "It's a man's world."

Notice how we men tricked the world into believing and repeating that mantra. Then there's the unequal pay; that was a good way to dupe everyone into extracting more resources for our benefit, to the detriment of starving women and children.

I'm the God. Worship me. And obey me or else!
Then what about that time we voted whether or not women were human? That really happened. You notice there are "Founding Fathers" of the USA but no Matronly Mothers or Patriotic Daughters. The chips off the block just grew up to promote the same patriarchy, the same sacred Annunaki-altered biblical texts about God being an "angry" deity, full of vengeance, full of fury, full of whimsical pride and punishment.

Pride and Prejudice, the great author Jane Austen wrote. She could as easily have penned a tome called Pride and Punishment about the male God's antics in the Old Testament. Think humans have it bad? Have you seen the plight of 51% of them?

There used to be a female God, too, you know. Yes, one in the Bible, Jehovah God's wife, the JudeoChristian Mother Goddess. They got rid of her and divine/sacred femininity. Even little boys and girls could no longer behave like sissies or anything but the model of biblical norms, which gives us Nick Blinko's analysis in "Farce":

She is such a pretty girl
Her shape fits well into a mold
Her mind removed, her body's sold
She does exactly what she's told

He is such a brave young man
If his brain can't then violence can
His heart drained since life began
Of the compassion it once had

Why go on living in the past
We just uphold this sexual farce
Farce is farce is farce is farce
Why go on living in the past?
  
Make an example of him! - But I want to forgive.
The worst -- maybe it's not the worst, but it feels like the worst -- is that females hate each other so much and compete with one another so much, not helping but bringing each other down, that we can ask, Who is raising little boys? Men? No, it's women and girls. Maybe we come out like this because the females, our mothers and caretakers, foster it in us. Maybe females unconsciously perpetuate the terrible stereotypes, oppressive gender norms, biased standards, and Western world view.

Oh God, stop me before I abuse others again.
So it must be a "man's world" if the women are on board. It's like, well, imagine a situation where a dominant race in a country got the subordinate group(s) to fight one another. Then they would just walk in laughing, all the oppression already done for them, and stay in power. Or imagine the warden and guards getting the prisoners at work to fight, kill, rape, and abuse one another. Then the prison would "take care of itself," and all the workers would just collect fat checks and handsome retirement packages bargained for by their big union (as happens in California).

Should men just step down off the pedestal? Or should women awaken, rise up, and knock off the aiding and abetting?

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