Monkey Mind: 'Monkey-barring' for dating

'Monkey-barring' is the latest dating trend wreaking havoc on relationships

Without letting go of one, you grab the next.

(FOX 32 Chicago) Sept. 2, 2025: Certified counselor Love McPherson breaks down why some people jump from one relationship to the next [like a monkey grabbing bars, not letting go of one and already grabbing the next or like a frog waiting for a new pad to jump on instead of getting into the water of singlehood and swimming to find a better pad like a decent person] and offers steps for healing and forming healthier connections. "Fear of abandonment" anyone?

• Understanding the "Monkey Mind" in Buddhist Meditation with teacher Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

What is monkey mind? Restlessness, worry...

A Modern Journey to the West

The term "monkey mind" originates from Chinese xīnyuán or Sino-Japanese shin'en (心猿), which literally means "heart-mind monkey."

It is a Buddhist concept that describes a state of restlessness, capriciousness, and lack of control of one's thoughts and emotions, the inability to find soothing stillness, calm, equanimity, poise, or maintain mindfulness.

Others suffer from it, too?

Attempts to suppress tend not to work. It is spurred by caffeine, stimulants, excitotoxins (chemicals), and is frequently followed by a crash, exhaustion, and cyclical dysfunction:

• Worry, sleepless, exhausted, stimulated, foggy, worried, sleepless, exhausted...

This "mind monkey" metaphor is found in Buddhist writings in Zen, Chan, Mind-only, Pure Land, and Shingon and has also been adopted by Taoism, Neo-Confucianism, Chinese poetry, theater, and literature.

Perfectionism is a mental illness.

The expression "monkey mind" commonly appears in two reversible four-character idioms paired with yima or iba (意馬), which means "idea horse."

Chinese xinyuanyima (心猿意馬) and Japanese ibashin'en (意馬心猿) illustrate the interconnectedness of a restless mind and wandering (discursive) thoughts.

The "Monkey King" Sun Wukong in the classic Chinese novel Journey to the West is an iconic personification of feeling indecisive and unsettled. More