Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Hurricane Milton: death metal Tampa




We've been weaponizing weather since Vietnam
TAMPA, Florida, MAGA Country - Once upon a time, there was a hurricane (possibly a typhoon, monsoon, or cyclone) they named Milton. Big mistake. Who's afraid of a Milton? It's like Bart's weakling friend Millhouse. Call it "Maverick" or "Uncle Milty" if people are supposed to run away. Everyone who stays in place to weather will die, says the mayor.

We blame DeSantis, for the immorality of rulers seems to impact the state by the subtle interplay of karma and karmic results.

O, you KNOW they can, says Marjorie T. Greene
In any case, whether it's Ricky Martin's fault or a politician, Spanish invaders or right-wing Cuban extremists, perhaps all the death metal afficionados around Tampa are culpable. Tampa is the death metal capital of the world. DeSantis could be to blame directly because fellow Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene knows the U.S. government controls the weather and is sending storms to impact the election. Did she tell Ron? The government, of course, has no other way of stealing elections other than feigning that it's Mother Nature's doing.

The desert of Saudi Arabia: weather control
If Gov. Ron could just go to the Swamp and talk to his fellow politicians in the DC then the state might be spared and the Carolinas could absorb it like Helene, a great hellish name for a storm. Rumor has it Milton is the 4th strongest storm in the history of the world, with 160 MPH winds, but it's tempering and calming down. HAARP really can steer storms with great precision, but that is not to say the steerers are answering to the current administration in Florida or Washington. Floridians, run! Tampa, become a ghost town. Millhouse, uh, Milton, calm down. Take it easy. Heat dissipates, and the melting icecaps will soon cool the waters, keeping all in balance.

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