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Monday, April 28, 2025
Country Stagecoach '25: What happened?
The LGBTQIA+ Country Brigade: Gay cowboys breakthrough at Stagecoach by booze guzzlin'
Coachella has a country cousin called Stagecoach. Why? It's getting to be an all-country world, as country music takes over every facet of our lives. No one has sneaker because now they only sell cowboy boots at the boot stores that have replaced the brand name tennis shoes outlets. Who could ever forget country music heroes Backstreet Boys?! Get this: Diplo's Honky Tonk featured billionairess Paris Hilton on the ones-and-twos who brought out country legend Lizzo, who is slimming down (and Chromeo, Sofi Tukker, and others), to do her big hit:
Not to be outdone, Jelly Roll (on the Mane Stage) rolled out MGK, Shaboozey, Bunnie Xo, Alex Warren, Wiz Khalifa, Lana Del Rey, Ho-di Ho-down Ke$ha, Super Hip MGK, the Wiz Khalifa, or nine featured guests in all. He has lots of friends and even a girlfriend (or possible wife) in Bunnie Xo, his morbid obesity notwithstanding because who has the right to question anyone's weight nowadays especially if that person is rich and famous?
Howdy, I'm here to meet and mingle!
The FULL Stagecoach 2025 lineup: 49 Winchester Abby Anderson Abi Carter Alana Springsteen Alexandra Kay Angel White Anne Wilson Annie Bosko Ashley McBryde Austin Snell Avery Anna Backseat Boys Blessing Offor Brent Cobb Brothers Osborne Bryan Martin Carly Pearce Chayce Beckham Colby Acuff Conner Smith Creed Crystal Gayle Dasha...
Jelly Roll, that's too much sun! Sunblock, son! - Machine Gun Kelly (MGK) "My Ex's Best Friend"
Diplo’s Honkytonk Drake Milligan Drew Parker Dylan Gossett Dylan Scott Flatland Cavalry George Birge Goo Goo Dolls Jelly Roll John Morgan Kashus Culpepper Koe Wetzel Lana Del Rey Lanie Gardner Louie TheSinger Luke Combs Maddox Batson Mae Estes Midland Myles Kennedy Nelly (25 Years of Country Grammar) Nikki Lane Niko Moon Noeline Hofmann Sammy Hagar Scotty McCreery Shaboozey Sierra Ferrell Sturgill Simpson Tanner Usrey The Bacon Brothers The Castellows The Wilder Blue Tiera Kennedy Tigerlily Gold Tommy James & The Shondells T-Pain Tracy Lawrence Treaty Oak Revival Tucker Wetmore Vincent Mason Waylon Wyatt Whiskey Myers Zach Bryan (PLUS lots of secret special guests). It was bouncin':
Stagecoach (StagecoachFestival.com) is the name of Coachella's country cousin, coming third in a line of three weekends at the Indio Polo Field (brought to us by the nice folks over at LA's own Goldenvoice productions, one of the first companies/one-man-operations to organize risky punk rock concerts in venues like the Palladium in Hollywood), milking every last drop out of the LA and OC markets by playing to the country music fad that has outlasted rock 'n roll and rap by a few decades now.
Lana Del Rey (aka Lizzy Grant)
It's not a fad. Country's here to stay. So to destroy it and its influence, the music biz has to get it from within. Inject all these inimical forces, LGBTQIA+ influences, watered down crossover hits, and so on. Elijah and the Good Old Boys know what we're talking about.
All your country music favorites are there: Lana "Cowgirl" Del Rey, who's going country on her next release just as the bandwagon is going strong.
There are also these heavy hitting country stars: Jelly "Potato" Roll, T-"Bronco" Pain (doing a cover of country classic Black Sabbath's "War Pigs"), DJ Paris "Rawhide" Hilton, Mumford "General Store" and Sons, "Creeps" Creed, Ol' Nelly, Shaboozey, and a few surprises. Like, maybe, Axel "Cornfed" Rose will show up to wow the crowd of Stetsons and Naugahyde cowboy booties.
Maybe Beyonce will show up and show them how country music is really supposed to be (ehem) or that bestselling rap artist gone country with Miley Cyrus' dad, what was his name? The "Old Town Road" gay Illuminati-joining, right in your face Satanic young fella, who was doing it all in jest just to make it in Hollywood and get out of his sister's house. Taylor "Nazi Barbie" Swift! No, she didn't come up with "Old Town Road," but she did start as a clean-cut cookie cutter country artist -- before falling for the allure of Hollywood superstardom over Nashville.
All the Black artists prove that country music fans were never racist, just slow to get with the urban vibes and give up their slave trade ancestral riches, y'know, the inheritances of land in a biased nation under one flag, the Confederate flag.
It's a Southern thang; y'all wouldn't understand. It's the end of racism, even among all the Trump fans, Republicans, Fundamentalist Evangelical Christians, and secretive interracial lovers.
STAGECOACH 2025 IS SOLD OUT! Tune in to the official livestream on Amazon Music starting April 25 at 4:00 pm PT. And never mind the rain or cold of the winter wonderland that is Southern California's high desert: Stagecoach
Stagecoach Festival 2025; I. Rony, Seth Auberon, Pfc. Sandoval, Ashley Wells, Xochitl (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly COMMENTARY
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