Wisdom Quarterly: American Buddhist Journal: Mandy Kahn: I can love you regardless

Sunday, August 16, 2026

Mandy Kahn: I can love you regardless

I can love you regardless of your views

Friends, Peace Class will soon resume after its summer hiatus, as will the Deep Dive Poetry series. Peace Class is held Wednesdays at 6:00 pm (PT) via Zoom. No signup is required. Poetry is monthly and held live in Hollywood inside the Philosophical Research Society's Library of World Religions (prs.org).

When we meet someone, do we wait to see what they will say to determine whether or not we can love them? Do we find that we are constantly evaluating people's ways of seeing, ways of believing, to determine whether we can love them?

We bring about great healing when we are able to say, "Whatever you believe, I hold unconditional love for you. I am aware of my own beliefs; I do not need to fear your ideas. I honor your path. I can honor you and hold love for you regardless of your ideas."

The Buddha knows, peace, love, views?
Mettā is Buddhism's term for unconditional, universal love as explained in the Karaniya Metta Sutta (Sn 1.8) and Metta Sutta or "Discourse on Lovingkindness" (Khp 8-9):
May all living beings be well and happy! May they be happy in heart/mind. Whatever living beings there are—feeble or strong, long or short, stout or medium, small or large, seen or unseen [deities, divinities, demigods, avians, humanoid-serpents, spirits, ghosts, hellions], those dwelling far or near, those born or waiting to be reborn—may all beings without exception be happy.
Intro to Buddhism (Peter Harvey)
Let no one deceive another nor despise anyone in any place. In anger or ill-will, let no one wish suffering upon another.
Just as a mother would protect her only child even at her own risk, let one cultivate a boundless heart towards all beings.
Let one's thoughts of boundless lovingkindness pervade the whole world: above, below, across without obstruction, without hatred, without enmity.
This they say is a divine abiding here and now.
One will surely not come again to any womb [to any rebirth in this Sensual Sphere (kama-loka), lowest of Three Spheres].
— Metta Sutta (Khp 8-9), translated by Peter Harvey (An Introduction to Buddhism: Teachings, History and Practices, p. 279) and edited by Wisdom Quarterly

31 categories of rebirth planes

Ideas and worldviews evolve over the course of one lifetime or many lifetimes (rebirths). While our ideas may change, we do not shift in and out of lovability. We are inherently, innately, intimately lovable. And wherever we are in our transition and evolution of beliefs, I am able to love you.

In fact, I cannot help but love you, knowing your inherent lovability—your innate worth. All are worthy of my unconditional love, as all are aspects of divinity in expression and exploration.

As we explore, as we try on worldviews (outlooks, paradigms, points of view), we are able to hold love for one another. Changes in our worldview will not mean less love from us. Our love is constant; our worthiness of love is constant.

Monthly Deep Dive Poetry at PRS Library

By embracing the other wherever we currently are in our journey—the human journey of beliefs and worldviews—we embrace the journey itself. The journey leads to peace. And evolution leads to choosing peace.

All beings are evolving from wherever they are towards choosing peace. When peace is finally chosen, a living being has fully evolved. All that precedes that is an exploration of the human experience.

We can love each other no matter what.

Because all exploration eventually leads to choosing peace, all exploration is ultimately part of the "peacening" process. Peace is the destination of all human exploration, without exception.

I embrace you on your human journey, which is a journey towards peace. When we choose to love others regardless of their views or where they are on their human journey, we heal -- we heal ourselves, we heal collective wounds of rejection and judgment, and we heal the person before us with our unconditional love.

Unconditional love (metta, agape) is the energy of pure healing. We share that pure healing when we share that love-without-limits.

Is it love when you see everyone as special?
Ancient Greeks spoke of six kinds of "love": divine unconditional love (agape), familial love (storge), friendly platonic love (philia), romantic love (eros), self-love (philautia), and guest love (xenia). Modern authors have distinguished even more varieties of love.
Many other cultures also distinguish the many kinds of "love" as mettā, kama, bhakti, ishq, ren, yuanfen, mamihlapinatapai, cafuné, chesed, amore, charity, compassion in action (karuna), saudade (and other variants and symbioses of these states).
There are even more forms love that English speakers could be lacking because there exist culturally unique words, definitions, and expressions.

I'm in it for Me, Myself, and I.

It is the lower mind that wants to withhold love. It is the lower mind that wants to carefully evaluate each person before us to determine whether that person is "worthy" of love. Only the lower mind can be convinced that a person is unworthy of love.

The heart knows the inherent worthiness of all living beings. The heart does not labor to love. The heart loves by its nature. The heart leads us towards love-without-end.

Give me that heart, Buddha! - With joy, friend

The lower mind leads us towards a start-stop kind of love—a conditional love that might better be described as affection, bias, or favor rather than universal mettā.

It is a lot of work for the lower mind to constantly assess the lovability of each person and each idea.

We can love, and we can choose

The Buddha's mind was in his heart

The heart knows that every worldview is simply part of a human experience being explored and all explorations are towards finally choosing peace.

When we ask our hearts to lead, our hearts lead with wise discernment, not judgments. Our hearts can discern which idea best resonates with us. The heart determines then chooses—embraces—that which resonates.

An idea is chosen, whereas others are simply allowed and not chosen.

If the lower mind rejects some person's idea, it also rejects that person. The heart can choose or not choose a person's idea yet can still hold love for the person.

We can lead with our heart toward all.

When we are heart-led, we do not fear any ideas. We simply choose them or leave them unchosen. We do not need to reject idea-holders to “remain safe” from their ideas. A person in balance can simply choose the idea s/he resonates with and hold love and space for all the idea-holders whose ideas were not chosen.

We can honor everyone at every place on their journey. No rejection is required. Love can be total, universal, unconditional (metta, agape).

Choosing can be used to navigate. Choosing led by love is all that is needed. As we encounter others, we may employ the following phrases to navigate with love:

I do not choose this idea. Simultaneously, I hold love for this person.
I choose this idea. Simultaneously, I hold love for this person.
I observe this idea, neither choosing it nor not choosing it. Simultaneously, I hold love for this person.

Is your poetry as peaceful as your class?

We can navigate this world by choosing and loving all. Nothing additional is required to navigate. Rejection is not required.

The lower mind can be taught that it is one's responsibility to reject a person who carries an idea we do not choose. But the heart knows that every person is inherently worthy of love, just as every part of us is inherently worthy of love.

The heart also knows that when we reject others, we simultaneously reject a part of ourselves because we are all connected aspects of the same human organism.

Thus, when we reject others, we reject a part of ourselves, and we experience the wound of that rejection.

Rejected and left behind once again!!

Rejection wounds unilaterally: It wounds the rejected, it wounds the rejector (oneself), and it wounds the collective, which retains that rejection energy.

Rejection builds fear among the not-yet-rejected which blocks creativity, blocks new ideas, and blocks freedom of expression. It encourages people to be less fully themselves.

I love and accept you, so let's start to heal.

Love heals unilaterally: It heals the accepted (the other), it heals the acceptor (oneself), and it heals all (the collective). Whereas the energy of rejection builds fear, the energy of love-without-end builds safety. And it seeds peace. It seeds a peace-without-end.

When one steps from judgment and to discernment—when one chooses to navigate by way of choosing and simultaneously by loving—with each choice, a being is healing the collective.

Peace Class Wednesdays (prs.org)

That being is healing past wounds that were created from judgment and rejection. One is laying the foundation for a world that has evolved past fear—one in which peace is the standard, one in which there is the honoring of all beings. And in that honoring, there is the great realization of full selfhood.

There is ever-flowing creativity, and there is the profound joy of choosing and loving, again and again, from a place of perfect freedom and total possibility, to act towards others with peace.