Showing posts with label positivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positivity. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Harvard U's free course on Happiness


I took Harvard's free 6-week course on happiness—and here's what I learned
After six weeks of reading articles, watching videos, and contributing to class discussion boards, I've officially completed Harvard University's "Managing Happiness" course, led by social scientist and Harvard Professor Arthur Brooks.

The online class is completely free for audit only (not class credit), and anyone can take it up until March 27, 2024, which is past, so forget about becoming happy (j/k).

The course is self-paced, but after six weeks, one will lose access to its materials and one's progress.

Now that I've finished the course, my biggest takeaway is that I feel a lot more in control of my own happiness.

I left with an understanding that the things beyond my control can, and will, affect my happiness, but my reactions to these outcomes are more important (more important than what happens to me).

When I first started the Harvard course about happiness, I had several questions that I hoped to have answered. Here are some insights that I've gained.

Here's what I learned from Harvard's free happiness course
You make me smile, Buddha. And I get happy.
1. How often should we experience happiness? Though there isn't a set frequency for how often we should feel happy, we can experience happiness very often, especially by doing things that will make us genuinely smile.

The first thing that we were asked to do for the class was to grip a pencil between our molars for 60 to 90 seconds to mimic the act of smiling. [If the tail wags the dog, the dog will get happy, however counterintuitive that may seem. Try it.]

Though the activity felt silly, it did make me laugh, which [kickstarts deep breathing and] is associated with happiness.

Duchenne smile engages muscles of mouth and eyes
Guillaume Duchenne de Boulogne, a French neurologist who studied facial expressions, was particularly interested in what some call the "Duchenne smile," a smile that engages the muscles around our mouth and eyes.

"If we force a Duchenne smile, we start to feel happier," Prof. Brooks says in one of the course's videos.

And research from 2022 seems to support that theory. The Duchenne smile teaches us that "you can stimulate your happiness and improve it," sometimes by just genuinely smiling, Prof. Brooks adds.

2. Is it realistic to expect to feel happy all of the time?
Why was the Buddha always happy? Nirvana
 
As often as we can cultivate happiness in our own lives, it's not possible to feel happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

"Modern research shows us that our emotions are under our control — but only partly," Prof. Brooks says during the course.

Our genetic makeup and outside factors, like other people's actions, can also affect our emotions, he explains.

It requires effort and discipline to better manage our feelings. It's also important to remember that "happiness requires some amount of unhappiness," Prof. Brooks says.

Instead of avoiding unhappiness, we should embrace it and try to see what it is teaching us that can lead to growth.

3. If happiness is connected to our experiences, especially with those around us, how can we protect it when dealing with difficult people? Relationships greatly impact our happiness, but how to handle interactions with difficult people was not something we covered in depth.

However, one of the seven practices that Harvard researchers believe leads to happiness and good health is having good conflict-resolution skills.
I'm not really smiling, just mellow and content.
To be happier, researchers interviewed for the course also encourage people to form and strengthen relationships with people they can count on.

An 85-year Harvard study found that the Number One thing that makes us happier in life is positive relationships.

Prof. Brooks recommends developing great relationships and achieving healthy friendship balance by:
  • Having check-ins with our friends
  • Asking deep questions to gauge people's true opinions on important topics to build upon friendships with acquaintances
  • Making more friends that "you don't need"
"In order to have a friend, you must be a friend," Prof. Brooks says, so you should practice the behaviors that you'd want a friend to have.

Be supportive, give people the capacity to be themselves, and provide advice without judgment, he recommends for those looking to become better friends.

4. How can we cultivate happiness during tough times in our lives? We typically feel like we're having a tough time during major transitions in our lives, but writer Bruce Feiler, who was mentioned and interviewed for the course, believes that life is found in the transitions.

Sometimes transitions are ones that we choose like moving to a new city or starting a new job. Other times, we can't anticipate them like the pandemic or the loss of a loved one.


But after interviewing hundreds of people and asking them about the transitions in their lives, Feiler learned that 90% of people were able to get through their tough times. For this reason, he suggests accepting our emotions and going through the process of recovery, instead of not acknowledging that things have changed.

Psychologists have also discovered that many people experience post-traumatic growth, a transformation after life-changing experiences and trauma.

According to the American Psychological Association, signs of post-traumatic growth can include:
  • Appreciation of life
  • New possibilities in life
  • Personal strength
  • Relationships with others
  • Spiritual change.
And if you're struggling to find happiness during a tough time, Prof. Brooks offers this piece of encouragement:

"Remember that bad things don't last."

Saturday, August 27, 2022

The Vagina Museum, England

Vagina Museum Team; Ashley Wells, Ananda (Dharma Buddhist Meditation), Wisdom Quarterly
Summer's almost over, but we have plenty of things happening to thrill and excite you. Here's a peek at our September events, along with a few things that might be interesting to you...

In-person events

 

Self Care and Sisterhood Workshop with Skaped


Monday 5th September, 6PM
Throughout our days we’re busy with hustling and bustling, so we wanted to slow things down and reflect and thank ourselves for all the work we do as individuals, and as a collective. Self care and sisterhood workshop is a way in which we will unpack the mountains of labor we perform, and simply devote time just for ourselves. We want to recognize all the love that we hold, and in turn, give ourselves some of that love too! In order to do so, we’ll create a supportive space for us to chat and embroider.

This workshop from Skaped is open to anyone who relates to the label 'woman', be they non-binary, cis, trans or genderfluid. As such, inclusion in this event is based on self definition - there will be no gatekeeping.

Fighting the Sex Misinformation Crisis with Sophia Smith Galer


Thursday 15th September, 7.30PM
Sophia Smith Galer, multi-award-winning reporter and author of Losing It, exposes a worldwide sex misinformation crisis where a vacuum of sex education allows myths about our relationships and our bodies are allowed to proliferate. She explores how everyone from your partner to your plastic surgeon may proliferate inaccuracies about sex, and what we can do to counter mis and disinformation - as well as the obstacles standing in our way preventing us from doing so.

Femigami Workshop


Saturday 17th September, 7.30PM
Femigami specializes in hosting playful and thought-provoking workshops using the art of origami to create unconventional paper creations (including vaginas and penises), whilst facilitating conversations around body image, feminism and wellbeing. These unique workshops aim to breakdown stigma and normalize our bodies so that we can feel more comfortable and confident in our everyday lives. Femigami workshops aim to be inclusive and welcoming to all genders. Workshop attendees have ranged from 10 to 80 years old (no one is too young or old to enjoy making Femigami!). In this particular workshop, we'll be celebrating Sexual Health Week and we will be joined by an RSE teacher to get an insight into the sex and relationship education young people receive today, how it's changed and invite you to think about how it might look in the future.

Pub(e) Quiz


Tuesday 20th September, 7.30PM
For the first time since 2020, we're bringing back the quiz-sterics live and in person at the Vagina Museum! Flex your trivia muscles and win prizes in this vagina-themed quiz night that will test your knowledge of the notorious V.A.G. Trust me, the prizes will be like nothing you'd get in any other pub quiz.

Free resources for young people

The UK's leading gynecological cancer prevention charity, The Eve Appeal, have launched their ambitious new gynae health schools' education program called Know Your Body. Know Your Body is a set of inclusive, interactive, age-appropriate and evidence-based lesson plans on anatomy, menstrual health, HPV and cancer and FGM (developed in collaboration with the National FGM Centre). The resources were made for 5–13-year old's and are available for teachers, parents, youth workers and young people to download for free: knowyourbodylessons.org

Virtual events

Period Drama!


Saturday 24th September, 7PM
Join us for a very special online event, getting up close and personal with Georgian women and people with vulvas: what they wore, how they washed themselves and their clothes, and how they coped with menstruation, menopause and disease.

This event is a collaboration between the Vagina Museum and Jane Austen’s House, tying into their respective exhibitions: Periods: A Brief History and Jane Austen Undressed.

We’ll be joined by dress historian and Regency dress expert Hilary Davidson for a deep dive into Georgian undergarments – from bare bottoms to heaving bosoms – and by the Vagina Museum staff for a physical examination of how we coped with our bodies in the Georgian era. We’ll finish with a pop quiz and there will be plenty of time to ask questions, chat, fun (and a little Jane Austen!) along the way.

Cliterature: This Is Pleasure


Wednesday 28th September, 7PM
Cliterature, the Vagina Museum's book club, offers you a generous and satisfying fingering through the feminist pages. We’ll include a mixture of fiction, non-fiction, essays and poetry. Everyone is welcome and we’re open to book club suggestions. Our book club is led by trustee Niharika Jain.

Our September read is This is Pleasure by Mary Gaitskill. A provocative, nuanced novella about power, consent and friendship - and a masterful fictional contribution to the #MeToo debate. This is Pleasure is an extraordinary work by one of the world's finest writers, and achieves more in 15,000 words than most full-length novels. Following the unravelling of the life of a male publisher undone by allegations of sexual impropriety and harassment, and the female friend who tries to understand, and explain, his actions, it looks unflinchingly at our present moment and rejects moral certainties to show us that there are many sides to every story.
Vagina Museum events

Abortion Rights Activist Bootcamp


Want to be a pro-choice activist but don’t know where to get started? 

Abortion Rights UK wants YOU to join their first ever Activist Bootcamp training program! Get tailored training and support from some of the most experienced abortion rights experts in the UK, design and lead your own grassroots activism project and gain experience in campaigning.

People aged over 18 of all genders and backgrounds are welcome to apply.


Stay tuned, as we'll be announcing more of our charity pop-ups very soon! If you're in the area this Bank Holiday weekend, join us for a pop-up from International Association for Premenstrual Disorders on Sunday, or the Lady Garden Foundation on Monday.

Warmest, deepest, wettest wishes,
The Vagina Museum Team X

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Positive Thinking

Positive Response: How to Meet Evil With Good
By Acharya Buddharakkhita (Bodhi Leaves No. 109, BPS)

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Preface
This booklet contains a collection of short discourses delivered by the Buddha and a passage from the Path of Purification, each preceded by a brief introduction by the translator. The unifying theme of these pieces may be called a positive response in dealing with provocative people and situations. The texts set forth practical techniques taught by the Buddha for overcoming resentment, hatred, and other such pollutants, and for cultivating such elevating mental qualities as good will, amity, and compassion. For anyone intent on spiritual development these practical instructions will help to cleanse the mind and to unfold its great hidden potentials.

Introduction
In the realm of spirituality, "tit for tat," very much a norm in the world, never works. It is only by a positive response that spiritual progress is possible. If one is reproached, even manhandled, and one reacts with resentment, one would certainly fail either to achieve a purposive result for oneself or to win over the opponent. But if one endures the reproach and responds with good will, then one can win over the offending person as well as effect a significant triumph over oneself, making progress on the onward path to spiritual liberation.

FREE TOOLS FOR TRANSFORMATION
Trans4Mind.com
This excellent resource of audio down-loads helps transform habits of mind to take a positive approach, overcome criticism, esteem issues, and more.
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An outlook that fosters a positive response to every negative move thus becomes imperative to any serious seeker of truth. It is essential, therefore, that a meditator should assiduously strive to cultivate a positive attitude leading to the conquest of evil by good.

The Parable of the Saw (Kakacupama Sutra, MN 21)
The Buddha, in a masterly discourse entitled "The Parable of the Saw," makes this point amply clear. The Buddha exhorts the monk Phagguna: "Phagguna, if anyone were to reproach you right to your face... give you a blow with the hand, or hit you with a clod of earth, or with a stick, or with a sword, even then you should abandon those urges and thoughts which are worldly [i.e., the normal way of the world — tit for tat]. There, Phagguna, you should train yourself thus: 'Neither shall my mind be affected by this, nor shall I give vent to evil words; but I shall remain full of concern and pity, with a mind of love, and I shall not give in to hatred.'"

So that the point will go straight home, the Buddha recounts a delightful story of the mistress Vedehika, which is again supported by several analogies: the great earth, empty space, the river Ganges, and the catskin bag.

To emphasize this philosophy of positive approach, the Buddha further tells the monks that even if bandits were to sever them limb by limb with a double-handled saw, they should not give way to hatred but must develop thoughts of boundless love towards the bandits as well as the entire world.

The monks, it is said, were greatly inspired as they heard this philosophy of positive response.

The Sutra
"Phagguna, if anyone were to reproach you right to your face, even then you should abandon those urges and thoughts which are worldly. There, Phagguna, you should train yourself thus: 'Neither shall my mind be affected by this, nor shall I give vent to evil words; but I shall remain full of concern and pity, with a mind of love, and I shall not give in to hatred.' This is how, Phagguna, you should train yourself."
...
Positive Response of Love
"Monks, there are these five modes of speech which people might use when speaking to you — speech that is timely or untimely, true or false, gentle or harsh, with a good or a harmful motive, and with a loving heart or hostility.

"Monks, some might speak to you using speech that is timely or untimely; monks, some might speak to you according to truth or falsely; monks, some might speak to you gently or harshly; monks, some might speak to you with a good motive or with a harmful motive; monks, some might speak to you with a loving heart or with hostility. On all occasions, monks, you should train yourselves thus:

"'Neither shall our minds be affected by this, nor for this matter shall we give vent to evil words, but we shall remain full of concern and pity, with a mind of love, and we shall not give in to hatred. On the contrary, we shall live projecting thoughts of universal love to that very person, making him as well as the whole world the object of our thoughts of universal love — thoughts that have grown great, exalted and measureless. We shall dwell radiating these thoughts which are void of hostility and ill will.' It is in this way, monks, that you should train yourselves."

Copyright ©1987 Buddhist Publication Society. Access to Insight edition ©2006. For free distribution. This work may be republished, reformatted, reprinted, and redistributed in any medium. It is the author's wish, however, that any such republication and redistribution be made available to the public on a free and unrestricted basis and that translations and other derivative works be clearly marked.