A Yogi's Note — WISDOM'S ROAR (tejaniyasayadaw.space), Swiss Retreat 2019 interviews, Numbers 14-15; Ellie Askew, Dhr. Seven (ed.), Wisdom Quarterly
Enjoying does its work, and awareness does its work, too
Interview No 14 (39:05-40:15)
YOGI: I was sitting on a bench behind the center and was hearing all the
surrounding sounds. I enjoyed them. It was like listening to a concert.
I asked myself if I could be lost in hearing like I can be lost in thought.
I don’t know if I was lost in hearing, but I enjoyed it very much.
(Sayadaw U Tejaniya) SUT: You knew that you enjoyed it, but did you know whether you were aware?
This is what you have to ask yourself.
You can enjoy, but you need to ask yourself if you’re still aware.
You can still enjoy and be aware of enjoying and be aware of all those
sounds.
So long as you check if you’re aware, then you won’t be totally lost.
Self-criticism: Awareness vs. the experience
Interview No. 15 (18:35-21:28)
Why won't I love myself instead? |
YOGI: I’m concerned about self-criticism: Whenever there is "should" and "shouldn’t be like this," or "why am I not like this," I recognize the thoughts
and discomfort.
Aren’t these thoughts of self-criticism already the mind wearing the
glasses of self-criticism?
SUT: Yes, but you have to differentiate two processes. There is a
process that is being seen and the seeing process.
The process that is being seen right now is the process of the mind
having self-criticism glasses on and doing self-criticizing and the feeling
of being self-criticized.
And there is a process that is seeing this process, and that process may
not have the glasses on. You can see for yourself. This type might be
seeing with wisdom.
Seeing what is happening is not self-criticizing. It is seeing the
process of self-criticizing happening.
Mindfulness is magical
Interview No. 14 (1:30:12-1:34:05)
YOGI: I wanted to take a shower, but all bathrooms were occupied and I was
angry. Then each person I met caused anger to arise.
I tried to look at the anger, not at the person. And soon the anger came
down. It was a bit magical.
My perception and how I felt about the person I saw an hour ago was totally
different. It was a calm and warm feeling.
SUT: We have to have the experience of aversion in order to be able to
watch it and experience the magic of mindfulness and learn something about
aversion -- not just aversion, of course, but any object. If we don’t have those
experiences, we cannot learn.
In insight meditation (vipassana) practice, we use the experience as the object in order to
learn and gain wisdom.
- A Yogi’s Notes
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