Why I Became A Buddhist Monk

(Ian Macky)

When I was a child, I loved to see pictures of ascetics practicing meditation under trees. Their deep calm delighted me. I thought them the most peaceful people to ever live on earth. As a child my parents sent me to a Buddhist Sunday School. A Buddhist monk and lay teachers explained the life of the Buddha and his teachings. Although the walk to school was rather far, I enjoyed walking there. Other children and I ate wild mangoes as we went.

On my way home one Sunday, I heard voices from under a bridge. Looking down, I saw an old woman struggling in the middle of the river and two men trying to pull her up from both sides. But the men were not able swimmers. As neither was able to grasp her firmly, she drowned. I was deeply disturbed by this incident. The woman was the wife of the village shoemaker. When I saw him, he was very distraught. Strangely, as I approached him, I felt like touching his head and saying "Do not cry." But I didn't and instead went home with a deep feeling of sorrow in my heart.

(Lulu Allison)

I tried to talk to my parents about what happened, but they were very busy and paid no attention to me. I felt very strongly that I did not want people to die, no one and especially not me. My parents had taken me to many funerals in our village. Family members in Sri Lanka grieve and cry out very loudly at funerals and sometimes even attempt to throw themselves on the cremation fire. Having seen and heard so much of this, I grew up very concerned about death and dying.

I was disturbed about many of life's questions. Where did I come from? What was the purpose of living? Where would I go after death? These and similar questions occupied my thoughts. Although I asked others about them, I got no satisfactory answers. I decided to travel, to wander in search of answers. As an adult I became a sailor and took to the sea aboard a foreign vessel. I visited countries throughout Europe and Asia, always enjoying the chance to go ashore and meet people in towns and villages.

Once, working alongside my cousin on a Greek ship, I reached the port of Constant, Romania. It was winter and our work was very difficult. We witnessed a horrible on board accident. A fellow sailor's hand got caught on a hook being pulled by a massive crane. He was in excruciating pain as my cousin and I rushed to help free him. His pain and suffering were unbelievable.

Back in our cabin, I opened up to my cousin about my longing to find a way to escape the suffering that fills the life of man. We discussed the Buddha's teachings. And my cousin revealed that he practiced a kind of meditation he had learned in his village temple in Sri Lanka. He demonstrated what little he knew about mindfulness. I thought that perhaps this form of meditation was a way to control and gain mastery over the senses.

Ven. Lakkhana

At once I decided to leave the life of the sea and return to Sri Lanka to develop a meditation practice to end suffering in this very life. Once back, however, my mind was forced to turn to practical matters and the material world. I had to turn my attention to business, while I pondered renouncing the home life. Finally, thoughts of renunciation led me Diyavannaoya Temple. I asked the chief monk's advice about meditation and what book he recommended most to monastics. He suggested the Path of Purification (Visuddhimagga), encouraging me to find a suitable meditation center.

With The Path of Purification, a voluminous and very technical meditation manual, along with many other Dharma books, I set off to practice. I reread these books many times and practiced meditation according to the breathing instructions I had been taught. But I began to realize that in order to make real progress, I needed guidance from a qualified teacher.

If one is to find the way to the end of suffering, the way to the "unconditioned element," the path to nirvana, I could not rely on my own interpretations and understanding. About this time, my aunt gave me a book by Ven. Rerukane Chandawimala. It was a translation of a famous book on meditation called The Progress of Insight by the renowned Burmese master Mahasi Sayadaw. My aunt had been practicing according to this method. Although she had fallen and badly broken her leg, she was very happy and peaceful when I visited her in the hospital.

She started to explain the benefits of the Buddha's teachings. Truly the Buddha taught a wonderful practice leading to the cessation of suffering. Later, as I heard she was dying, she asked nurses to sit her up in bed so she could meditate as she passed away. Hearing this, I firmly resolved that this was the time to renounce the home life completely.

Later, my younger sister died and this too disturbed me. As I withdrew myself from worldly matters, I lived alone on my small estate and spent most of my time practicing loving-kindness meditation. I began to visit a forest hermitage nearby, eventually being directed to the Kanduboda International Meditation Center where lay people are able to practice. I was given a small dwelling (kuti) and meditation instruction by Ven. K. Pemasiri. I was instructed to practice walking meditation (mindful of each and every step) then taught to be mindful of every movement I made. I watched the rising and passing away of thoughts, sights, sounds, sights, tastes, in fact, all sense experiences and mental objects.

Before long, the thought of leaving the center occurred to me because the practice was so arduous. However, I firmly resolved to stay and continue the practice, no matter how difficult I found it. Within a few days, I managed to develop concentration and wisdom to such a degree that I was transformed.

I became a very different person: My doubts about the Triple Gem vanished. Great confidence arose in my heart towards the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Later moving on to other meditation centers, I would nevertheless return to the International Meditation Center many times and discuss Dharma with Ven. Pemasiri. He kindly accepted my invitation to undertake a pilgrimage to India together.

I subsequently joined the Center and took ordination as a novice. I was appointed translator for my teacher and learned a great deal as he was giving others instructions through me. After two years, he left to head the Colombo-MacCarthy Meditation Center. And I visited Thailand, where I had once before practiced under various teachers. I sought out and practiced under Ajahn Lee Dhammardharo at Wat Sainam, Ajahn Thong at Wat Tapotaram in Chiang Mai, and Ajahn Passano at the famous international forest meditation center Wat Pah Nanachat in northeast Thailand.

I finally returned to Sri Lanka and was appointed meditation instructor at the Colombo-MacCarthy Meditation Center by my teacher. After serving for sometime, I retreated to the forest. I found an ancient and secluded cave on a small hill. The area was wild and infested with uncontrolled elephants. Local villagers helped me reconstruct the walls and fit a door on the cave. Villagers would journey from more than two miles away, hazarding a dangerous trip through the jungle wilds, eager to hear the Buddha's teaching. They came to practice meditation with me every eight days. Since there were five ancient and dilapidated pagodas in throughout this hilly area, I dubbed my retreat the "Pancha Stupa" forest hermitage.

I had the opportunity to help a woman who was stricken with grief over the loss of her husband. I taught her how to develop concentration and insight. After learning and implementing this meditation practice, her life changed. Her sorrow lifted, and she developed great confidence in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. She wanted to visit the USA to spread the Buddha's Dharma there. She contacted Ven. Dhammasiri Thero, president of the Washington Buddhist Vihara ("Monastery") about me, who was at that time in Sri Lanka interviewing meditation teachers to serve in Washington.

A lay devotee named Lakshmi arranged an appointment for me to meet him. Being satisfied after interviewing me, Ven. Dhammasiri invited me to serve. I accepted and served in that capacity under Ven. Pannaloka Mahathero, the newly appointed president. In Washington, I taught regular meditation classes for all levels and conducted monthly meditation retreats there as well. There were many lay practitioners who were very helpful to me in arranging these retreats and supplying food for the participants.

After serving awhile I moved to the Los Angeles Buddhist Vihara in California, where I serve the abbot, Ven. Ahangama Dhammarama Mahathero. Those interested in meditation are invited to join me every Saturday from 7 - 9 PM. Or if anyone wishes to get meditation instruction via the Internet, contact me by email.