Monday, September 27, 2021

Unhappy Hour vs. Happy Hour: Coffee

Ashley Wells, Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly, Monday, September 27, 2021

Put in eight on caffeine, get one to come down
Strange that when on the night shift, I leave when others are coming and arrive when they're going. It's made me notice the sign hanging over the bar on the corner, "Happy Hour!"

When does "Happy Hour" start? After work. And that's where people in the office are headed. That implies that the rest of the time -- the eight hours before it -- are "Unhappy Hour(s)." Where should that sign be hung? At the entrance to the workplace.

What's the drink on the "Happy Hour" banner? It's a martini glass with champagne bubbles.

Boss' saying: "Life begins after coffee"
What's the official drink of work, the drug the boss passes out for free? Coffee (caffeine and many carcinogenic compounds like acrylamides known to the state to cause cancer. The State of California WARNING is presented by Starbucks, so you can't sue and say you didn't know).

Drink up, Dummy. You're making me rich.
The first drug we associate with lowering inhibitions and a lack of restraint, the second with full-inhibition productivity, oppressive restraint by overlord (boss), and in-fighting coworkers.

So to go along to get along, not wanting trouble, fearing a loss of livelihood, I learned to love addictive coffee. It makes me nervous, ditzy, unable to focus without it. Now I buy my own, make it extra strong, lose sleep over it. I'm told I love it. I must love it to drink so much of it without wanting to.

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