Last month's blue moon was really June's? The Gregorian calendar really fails us, making the lunar calendar of 13 months (moonths, since every year has 13 full moons, one each moonth) or even the Chinese lunisolar calendar look very appealing by comparison.
How long is a moonth? It is four weeks. How long is a week? It is seven days. How long is a day? About 24 hours or so. And the surprise is that, agreeing on all of these numbers as most Westerners will, what number __ x 28 (four weeks or a month) will give us 365 days?
Mmm, is it 12? - No, it is not. - Oh, is it 11 then? - No, and you're only getting colder. - You don't mean it's 13, do you, because that's bad luck! We can't have 13 anywhere or bad luck will happen, and I'm already afraid that you brought it up! It's 12, right? It has to be 12 because 12 months equal one year!
The number is 13 because 13 x 28 = 364 + plus 1 turnaround (New Year's) day to reset for the next year. This is astronomy in action, only we've been lied to for so long and taught to fear the evil, wrong, bad "thirteen" with superstitions and stupidity for so long that we do not even question it.
It's like a Roman religion, and we all just do what we're told. But 13 is a holy number with many excellent attributes, not the least of which is that's how many natural full moons and months we have each year. The ancient Vedas and Sumerian texts were onto something, so why did moderns try to take that away from us, detach us from our celestial clock, our connection to the seasons, solstices, sabbaths (a word that literally means "Saturdays," which we have been conned into thinking is synonymous with solar worship on Sundays), and a more reliable calendar?
There is a way to construct it so that holidays do not jump around in a haphazard way necessitating a priestly caste to interpret the signs for us every time we want to commemorate something. The indigenous people knew it, as did the aboriginal, and the wise women (cursed as "witches"), the pagans, and the heathens, the Gnostics and the Buddhists. The Buddha set aside one day a week to observe the uposatha or "fasting" day (because one only eats between dawn and noon and not after) of observing the Eight Precepts.
Of the four weeks in a month, the full moon observance is the most obvious so it seems the most special, as in if you're only going to follow one a month, this would be the one. Anyone can look up and see that it is time to reflect on the Dhamma, invest in our meditation practice or sadhana, and hear the Teachings of the Awakened One.
(Zenith Zen) The Zen Buddhist story that will change how you spend the next 60 seconds of your life
Buddhism, Taoism say: "Be here now."
One of the greatest moments in my life, which happened early on, was coming to watch TV on a Saturday morning in LA. My dad already had the TV all tied up. But he was drunk and drifting off. Surely, he didn't know what was on. If I could just exhibit enough patience until his drooping eyes shut, I could slowly lower the volume, change it, and slowly raise the volume again. He'd never know. He would think one program ended and another started.
He may have been onto me because just as he started to drift off, he would rouse himself with some coughing or clearing his throat. I had to wait, pretending to be interested in what he had on, some old timey British movie from the 60s. Half aware, he kept an eye on me. And it seemed every time I made a move to change the channel, he would snap back to consciousness. I had to sit there looking all innocent, watching whatever he had on, until I became mesmerized by what it was.
This remarkable movie was funny and grew increasingly funny as the viewer realized what was happening. I immediately wished for a way to send it back to the beginning so I could see how it unfolded from the start. But there was no way. One could only enjoy as little as one had left of it. I didn't even know if I had missed half of it, 90% of it, or how much was left. But it kept getting funnier and funnier.
The set up was a Faustian bargain between a nobody up against a brilliant and angelic Beelzebub. The first had apparently sold his soul for seven wishes, and the latter was tricking him into quickly using them up. All the schlub wanted was the love of an unattainable beauty he worked with.
And that was enough for the Devil. All he had to do was trick the schlub into picking yet another foolish strategy for attaining his goal and then pull the rug out from under him by giving him what he literally asked for and never the spirit of what he wished. The Devil used the beauty as the bait, and the man kept biting...until, seemingly out of nowhere, he grew a backbone and chose to stop.
"What do you mean 'stop'?" the Devil demanded. "You're too smart for me, I can't get what I wish for, so I'm not going to use up any more wishes." The Devil never heard of such a thing. If the man doesn't use all seven wishes, well, the deal's off. He never gets his soul. The man had inadvertently found a gaping loophole in the blood pact bargain.
Beelzebub was too smart to accept no for an answer, so he seduced the man with friendly talk and an offer to use his place to rest himself, in the meanwhile sending in Lust (played by Raquel Welch) to seduce and confuse him. Then Vanity, all the Seven Deadly Sins at his disposal. The man was soon turned around and continued to wish.
During that brief period of friendship, Beelzebub let the man tag along during his busy day doing mischief and mayhem. As part of those escapades, they found themselves up a telephone pole cutting wires and making prank calls to a woman whose husband was cheating on her, breaking the bad news to get the philanderer in trouble with his wife.
The man, already put off by his own bargain gone bad, felt disgusted at the Devil's behavior. "How can you live with yourself, doing all these petty bad deeds, hurting people?" the man said judgmentally.
The Devil answered that it was his job. Anyway, it was just mischief. But he was hurt and he got the man back with one of the many zingers in this super-clever film. Who knows how this fantastic piece of comic morality tale came to be on American TV, which is usually filled with tripe and cotton candy. This was a truffle by comparison.
The Devil says to the man, "In the words of the great philosopher Lee Kwai Kwak, imagine you were walking along when a tiger jumped out and began to chase you. You run away but come to the edge of a cliff. Looking over, you notice the tiger's mate chomping her jaws waiting for you to fall. You turn around to go the other way, but there's the male tiger chomping its jaws about to eat you. What would you do?" The man's answer?
He exclaims, "What a stupid question! I wouldn't get myself into such a mess in the first place!"
"Oh, no, not you. You're far better off! Here you are halfway up a pole in Berkshire, half your wishes gone and no idea how to get down. You have nothing to learn from Lee Kwai Kwak and his tigers."
The man is nonplussed, realizing he should have paid attention about what to do in such a hopeless situation. Now, not having listened, he's on the edge of ruin.
The film moves on to a climactic scene about the perils of rock 'n roll fame, a moment that could never be nearly so funny had one not sat through every previous trick the Devil pulled on the man. The film? Bedazzled (1967 film). The man? Dudley Moore. The Devil? Peter Cook. So incredibly impactful was watching this that it took years, but I tracked it down.
Vidiots, the world's greatest video store
Vidiots of Santa Monica (now reborn in Eagle Rock) had it! More than that I appeared it. Imagine loving a film so much that you get yourself in it. How? One can't go back in time and change the same timeline. No, but one can appear in the sequel then get cut out of it as the numb director chops the climactic scene, the funniest scene, and replaces it with a nonsensical gag. That's Hollywood for ya, every sequel a waste of time money grab.
Seeing it from the beginning, it was even funnier and more a work of genius than I could have realized and better than I remembered. Every Christian should consider it a must-see to question assumptions about their faith. Every atheist who knows a thing or two about what the Church teaches should see it to see those assumptions skewered. Every Buddhist might way to pay attention when the Trickster begins to explain the Zen parable of the tigers and the strawberries. Will anyone listen? Who knows? One can lead a vidiot to videotape, but one cannot make anyone get it.
All materials on this site are submitted by editors and readers. All images, unless otherwise noted, were taken from the Internet and are assumed to be in the public domain.
In the event that there is still a problem, issue, or error with copyrighted material, the break of the copyright is unintentional and noncommercial, and the material will be removed immediately upon presented proof.
Contact us by submitting a comment marked "private."
Do not follow this journal if you are under vinaya or parental restrictions. Secure protection by Sucuri.
Wisdom Quarterly: American Buddhist Journal is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at creativecommons.org/about/licenses.