Marriage: lonely masturbation, cheating, shame

Ashley Wells, Seth Auberon (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly; Maureen McGrath (TEDx Talks); Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda, A Happy Married Life: A Buddhist Perspective (accesstoinsight.org)

You still love me? - Why don't you shut the hell up? - That's not the answer I wanted to hear.

 

No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating, and Shame

Love? Marriage? Sex? Can a married couple have all three? Perhaps it’s unrealistic since so many marriages end in divorce today. Why is that? One reason might be that a reported 20% of all marriages are sexless and that number is rising. Why have we lost the lust in our marriages? Is it technology, is it trust? More importantly, how can we “get back at it” in our marriages today?

• This talk was given at a TEDx event (TEDxStanleyPark) using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. More at: ted.com/tedx
• Registered nurse, sex educator, author of Sex & Health, Maureen McGrath (nursetalk@hotmail.com) hosts the "Sunday Night Sex Show" on News Talk 980 CKNW.

A Happy Married Life: A Buddhist Perspective

Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda edited by Wisdom Quarterly

I told you not to ask me. Who cares if my number is higher than yours? We're together now.

 
From the Buddhist point of view, marriage is neither holy nor unholy. Buddhism does not regard marriage as a religious duty nor as a sacrament that is ordained in heaven. A cynic has said that while some people believe that marriage is planned in heaven, others say that it is also recorded in hell!

Marriage is basically a personal and social obligation, but it is not compulsory. Men and women must have the freedom either to get married or to remain single. This does not mean that Buddhism is against marriage. Nobody in this world would say that marriage is bad , and there is no religion which is against marriage.
 
Practically all living things come into being as a result of sex life. [The Abhidharma explains some exceptions]. Among human beings, the institution of marriage has come about so that society guarantees the perpetuation of the human species and also ensures that the young would be cared for.

This is based on the argument that children born through the pleasure of sex must be the responsibility of the partners involved, at least until they have grown up. And marriage ensures that this responsibility is upheld and carried out.
 
A society grows through a network of relationships which are mutually intertwined and interdependent. Every relationship is a whole-hearted commitment to support and to protect others in a group or community.

Marriage plays a very important part in this strong web of relationships of giving support and protection. A good marriage should grow and develop gradually from understanding and not impulse, from true loyalty and not just sheer indulgence.

The institution of marriage provides a fine basis for the development of culture, a delightful association of two individuals to be nurtured and to be free from loneliness, deprivation, and fear. In marriage, each partner develops a complementary role...
 
2. The Nature of Love and Pleasure

Love
There are different kinds of love, and these are variously expressed as motherly love, brotherly love, sensual love, emotional love, sexual love, selfish love, selfless love, and universal love.
 
If people develop only their carnal or selfish love towards each other, that type of love cannot last long. In a true love relationship, one should not ask how much one can get, but how much one can give.
 
When beauty, complexion, and youth start to fade away, a husband who considers only the physical aspects of love may think of acquiring another young wife.

That type of love is animal love or lust. If a man really develops love as an expression of human concern for another being, he will not lay emphasis only on the external beauty and physical attractiveness of his partner.

The beauty and attractiveness of his partner should be in his heart and mind, not in what he sees. Likewise, the wife who follows Buddhist teachings will never neglect her husband even though he has become old, poor, or sick.

• "I have a fear that the modern girl loves to be Juliet, to have a dozen Romeos. She loves adventure....The modern girl dresses not to protect herself from wind, rain, and sun, but to attract attention. She improves upon nature by painting herself and looking extraordinary." — Gandhi

Sex

What's happening as the live TV news camera pans to this innocent looking anchor?

 
Sex by itself is not "evil," although the temptation and craving for it invariably disturbs the peace of mind, and hence is not conducive to spiritual development.
 
In the ideal situation, sex is the physical culmination of a deeply satisfying emotional relationship, where both partners give and take equally.
 
The portrayal of love by commercial groups through the mass media in what we call "Western" culture is not "real" love. When an animal wants to have sex, it shows its "love," but after having experienced sex, it just forgets about love.

For animals, sex is just an instinctive drive necessary for procreation. But a human being has much more to offer in the concept of love. Duties and responsibilities are important ingredients to maintain unity, harmony, and understanding in a relationship between human beings....

Gandhi remarks:

"I believe in the proper education of woman. But I do believe that woman will not make her contribution to the world by mimicking or running a race with man. She can run the race, but she will not rise to the great heights she is capable of by mimicking man. She has to be the complement of man." More

CONTENTS
1. Introduction
2. The Nature of Love and Pleasure
3. The Reality of Married Life
4. The Buddhist Concept of Marriage
5. The Religious Dilemma
6. Security, Respect, and Responsibilities
7. Polygamy or Monogamy?
8. New Technology
9. Morality
10. The East and the West
11. Celibacy
12. Summary
Appendix I: The Affectionate Mother
Appendix II: Moral Code

"Ted 2" and black-white Rachel Dolezal (video)

Wisdom Quarterly; Universal Pictures

Seth MacFarlane ("Family Guy," "American Dad," "Ted") returns as writer, director, and voice star of "Ted 2," Universal and Media Rights Capital’s follow-up to the highest-grossing original R-rated comedy of all time. Joined once again by co-star Mark Wahlberg and fellow "Ted" writers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild, MacFarlane's Ted struggles for civil and human rights when Dylann Storm[trooper] Roof, Rachel Dolezal, and killer cops are in the news.

 

Racism is alive and well in 26 states. In Los Angeles' neighbor to the south, Orange County, the KKK recruits. People want to investigate Obama's amnesty plan (kfiam640.com)

Racism harms everyone...but not equally. Victims get it worse than the privileged.

Racist flag, symbol of slavery and traitorous rebellion to keep human beings?

Demonstrating to bring attention to racism of Oklahoma Univ fraternity (AP)

• REVIEW: "Grin and Bear It" - "Ted 2" better than the first film (Pasadena Weekly)

Who can be what?

Bias works against her in daily life (CM)

Wisdom Quarterly (EDITORIAL)

The problem is we decide what "what" is, and who are we to say? Is Ted human? Is Rachel Dolezal black? We think she is, but that is a very unpopular opinion. Can "black" have two meanings, or is it only what the Deciders say it is?

Recently a 70-year-old woman found out that she's "white." She was adopted as a child, and her parents never told her she was adopted. She was raised as a light skinned black woman.

Obama gives great eulogy to quell racism.

But in 2013 her mother told her she was adopted, and she looked into her genealogy. In the process she discovered her white relatives. When she visited them, they thought her travails were finally over now that she was reunited with her real roots -- wait a minute, she said, I'm staying "black."

What does that mean? It means there are two distinct meanings of the word black in our American culture. One is what we imagine is the biology of being black, which is actually just the phenotype suggestive of a distinct genotype. Then there's the social construct Dolezal keeps reminding us about.

I'm not one. I kill them for fun and profit.

Did you know that in the Dominican Republic, the racist country next to Haiti (which is currently denationalizing and evicting all the darker skinned Haitians it can), you are white if you are black but at least 1/16th black.

In the racist U.S. it doesn't matter what you look like. According to an archaic law, you are black if you are 1/16th black or have even one drop of "black" blood.

US has an ugly racist history.

Dolezal grew up with black siblings, at least one of which her white brother raped (allegedly, and that case is currently working its way through the legal system, which is very friendly to white perpetrators and very antagonistic to nonwhite victims). And what is Dolezal's crime, volunteering to promote civil rights? Marrying a black man? Having a biracial child with that man?

Identifying with a culture different from the one we assigned or currently attempt to assign her to? Her "job" with the NAACP of Spokane was a volunteer position; she was not putting anyone out of work. Her identity is not new but something she has identified with for years, and her appearance reflects that.

• AUDIO: What does comedian Jimmy Dore have to say about it? (June 19th episode)

I'm a racist with black friends. I killed (AP).

Yes, she sued her university as a white person. Her identity is fluid, as it also is for biracial people Could she be biologically "white" and culturally "black"? The university was discriminating against her for being white, she argued, which calls into question how successful her "black" identity was.  Actually, she did not claim to be black but rather biracial, even then. And a half-white person wasn't qualified for the teaching position she wanted?

Confederate Army and KKK racism

We all know people who looking one way or coming from a certain biological family nevertheless adopt another culture and are taken as members of that out-group. Young whites who love rap, gang affiliation, looking tough, dressing in a hip hop manner get a special name for being white while acting "black." If a white woman marries a Muslim man and converts to Islam, does she cease to be "white"? Or is she "just confused"? Who would give up privilege for something else?

Racist comics (ferris.edu)

Of course, many of us are mad -- and certainly not everyone at WQ is united in this opinion that she is black -- because she can "pass." But lots of people can pass. Are we mad at them? If Dolezal were found to be secretly "black" or biracial while a member of the KKK, a neo-Nazi group, or the Republican party, would we all be as outraged? "How dare she pass herself off as white! It should be a crime! She's enjoying "white privilege" she doesn't deserve!" Is that what we would say? No, it's absurd. Yet, we're saying it in reverse.

"Integrity matters," the placards say, promoted by a few angry women outraged that a white person is trying to help the movement or appropriate the culture like so many white rappers successfully do? She was using her identity for great good, not personal gain. But minds are made up. See David Horsey comic of Dolezal.

Why make a big deal about Dolezal when the world needs so many MORE white allies? Disagree? Comment.

If I had a daughter, she'd love books (video)

Ashley Wells, Dhr. Seven, CC Liu, Wisdom Quarterly; Albena Firotov (WKYC 3, FB)

(PeruseProject) Hold on, Madison. Regan says some are good but some are "overhyped."

Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman

Books? Books? Who needs free books? Who needs free books when you can buy a Kindle machine, leave it on the airplane, and lose your whole library at once instead of just passing on a cheap pulp paperback?

Who will speak in favor of books? Maybe Madison X, an eloquent little girl who loves books, possibly more than any other human, and gives an impromptu speech about it. If only Malcolm X or Dr. King had a daughter. (But they did have daughters). No, not literally, we mean in a figurative sense like "Shakespeare's sister," a real chip off the old block, a natural born public speaker like Madison. Special thanks to WKYC Channel 3, Cleveland (facebook.com).

What's so great about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. anyway, like, Why would we want another one after assassinating the first one? The fact is that in his day, Dr. King was not too popular. People -- particularly civil rights activists black and white -- thought he went too far by daring to question the U.S. military-industrial complex in Vietnam. But his friendship with Vietnamese Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh led him to realize that the first two most important things were not civil rights.

We're all in this together. March for jobs!

More important were economic rights and even more fundamental was peace. Unless we have peace, no one is free. We end up with a police state instead. Unless we have economic rights, it does not matter if we have civil rights legislation on the books because, What does it profit a group to have the right to attend the same movie theater or restaurant as others if that group cannot afford to exercise that right?

(KVR) "Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence"

"And I Love Myself" (Kendrick Lamar)

Boo and Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly; Kendrick Lamar, "I Love Myself" (vevo/youtube)

"Everybody lack confidence, everybody lack confidence..." Even you, Kendrick? Even Belle Knox?

BuBu

My man Kendrick just dropped da bomb! Bomb? The hit, the shiznit, the real thang! What is he now, the new Martin Luther Jr.? King, ya mean? We were thinking prince or Malcolm or preacher's son.

Writer Kendrick Lamar

He be lovin hisself. Well, that's good. One can hardly love the world as one loves oneself if one does not love oneself first. So he's onto something, and nominal Christians would be well advised to follow suit -- and to avoid Swimming Pools and The [Weed] Recipe. He's a "good kid [in a] m.A.A.d city." When this joint dropped on Tuesday, KISS FM had him on to talk about it.

• LYRICS: "And I Love Myself" (rapgenius.com)

• VIDEO: Is Belle Knox a wh-re, porn star, or both?
• Woman beaten by cop to get $1.5 million settlement
• Video shows officer punching woman on LA freeway
• Denver HS students walk out in protest of principal
• Cops: We're going to kill capture this shooter suspect
• Murder-suicide at UPS; bosses shaking in their boots
• VIDEO: Why does my iPhone 6+ suck so much?!
• VIDEO: Does Ayahuasca kill or just show you yourself?

Did you ever think maybe I'm just a sex positive sex worker trapped by capitalism? - No.

Why does she stay? "Trauma bonding" (TED)

Ashley Wells, CC Liu, Wisdom Quarterly; Leslie Morgan Steiner, TEDxRainier, 2013

 

Why domestic violence victims don't leave

Leslie Morgan Steiner was in "crazy love" -- that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her, held a gun to her head, and threatened her life. Steiner, who graduated from Harvard and Morton Business School, tells the dark story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many of us hold about victims of domestic violence. And she explains how we can all help break the silence.

"Every two minutes in the U.S. a woman is sexually assaulted." CODEPINK provides a space for women of all ages and backgrounds to come together to advance the movement for peace and justice. The CODEPINK community encourages creativity, humor, and the arts.

 

TED Talks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment, and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts, medicine, and much more. Find closed captions and translated subtitles in many languages at ted.com/translate.

Power of SEDUCTION in daily life (video)

Chen Lizra (TEDx Talks, Vancouver, 2013), CC Liu (ed.), Wisdom Quarterly

With nearly a decade of experience in the animation industry -- working on projects for MTV, TVA, Alliance Atlantis, Mainframe Entertainment, and Radical Entertainment -- Chen Lizra's intellect, imagination, and creative thinking evolved her into a branding expert. 

[Think of the mark placed on cattle, slaves, or the shamed.]
 

Boys love to show off. Charming?

In 2009 and 2012 Chen was nominated as one of the "YWCA Women of Distinction in Vancouver" and was recently honored by the Australian government with a Distinguished Talent Permanent Visa for her international achievements in the arts.
 

As the international author of My Seductive Cuba, a UniqueTravel Guide, Chen has won two awards in the US, including the prestigious IPPY Book Award. With a passion for dance and creative movement, Lizra offers students "seduction workshops" and focused lectures and seminars about the art of seduction in our everyday lives.

  

• Secret History: How Cuba helped end S. Africa's apartheid 
• WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange calls on computer hackers to unite against NSA surveillance 
• Mayor takes aim at NYC’s iequality in inaugural address
• Civil rights attorney Lynne Stewart free out of compassion
• Colorado retailers begin legal recreational marijuana sales 
• Judge strikes down welfare drug tests in Florida
• Federal judge upholds electronics searches at U.S. border

TEDx: In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized (subject to certain rules and regulations).

SpaceX: Dragon docks with Space Station

Patt Morrison, KPCC 89.3 FM, Southern California Public Radio (SCPR.org)

A NASA rendering of SpaceX's Dragon capsule as it prepares to berth with the ISS (SpaceX)

    

SpaceX’s Dragon capsule, which was scheduled to launch last weekend and berth with the ISS (International Space Station), had a minor malfunction. But the spacecraft is okay now according to the company: “Today’s launch was aborted when the flight computer detected slightly high pressure in the engine 5 combustion chamber,” the company said in a brief statement on Saturday. “We have discovered root cause and repairs are underway.” More

• SpaceX’s successful launch of Dragon capsule ignites debate over PRIVATIZATION of space operations
  
• SpaceX: world’s first commercial-only spacecraft
• Porn star Jenna Jameson crashes into pole
• World's End: Crazed mom tries to kill son to save him
  
• Brian Banks exonerated: False guilty pleas common
• Banks: "This is the greatest day of my life"; accuser free
• Say goodbye to plastic bags in LA grocery stores?
• College harder than ever to get in, but easier once there?
• Gallup: Americans support gays, fewer "pro-choice"
• Father of son killed by police is a man with a mission
• Two-headed dragon joins Venice Beach Freakshow
• "Twilight's" Kristen Stewart gets own art show in LA 
• Resisting the Green Dragon: God isn't Environmentalist

Media labels "Generation C" (video)

Now.msn.com (money); Wisdom Quarterly

"No Adults Allowed" (on HBO's Mr. Show with Bob and David) and "Jeepers Creepers" (below)

Americans between the ages of 18 and 34 have been labelled with a new public relations and marketing designation.

They will now be known -- and quickly begin to call themselves -- "Generation C." The C is for "connected."



It is yet another label for Generation Y, also marketed to as Millennials, Echo Boomers, Generation Next, and Net Generation.

"I like to occupy and 'riot' then brag about it in texts, twits, and on the facebooks."

The group is being judged, categorized, and reduced to a box by its use of devices that consume media, impersonally socialize, and share experiences more than any other age group, according to the Nielsen corporation.

The theme song for the "Slacker Generation"


Statistics for the "Connected Generation"

Generation C instantly (as soon as the label was invented) makes up 23 percent of the population and represents 39 percent of smartphone users. Connected. Get used to it. You have no choice or say in the matter. The grown ups will decide what to call you and how to market to you.

A previous generation (Gen-Xers Oasis) copied a previous generation (Hippies The Who) with the song "My Generation": "People try to put us down (Talkin'bout my generation!), just because we get around. Things they do look awful cold. I hope I die before I get old."

Rescue effort for teen round-the-world sailor

Rescue effort launched for teen sailor

LOS ANGELES (AP/GrindTV) – A [white] 16-year-old Southern California girl attempting a solo sail around the world was feared in trouble today thousands of miles from land in the frigid, heaving southern Indian Ocean after her emergency beacons began signaling and communication was lost. An emergency search is under way for Abby Sunderland, who was trying to navigate the world alone. Another record voyage - Diver takes eerie leap

• US Girl on Solo World Voyage in Trouble (AP)
• VIDEO: California teen girl feared in lost (CBS)

What to call the newest generation

After baby boomers, Generation X, and millennials, the latest group is looking for its moniker. Internet's impact - Working better with Gen Y - Novel for Facebook crowd - Traits of baby boomers

Shambala: What is inside the Earth?

Brooks A. Agnew, Ph.D., Phoenix Science Foundation

Trailer for North Pole Inner Earth Expedition film from phoenixsciencefoundation.org

Dr. Brooks Agnew was raised in Pasadena, California and spent most of his youth hanging around CalTech and the folks who co-opted the Jet Propulsion Labs. He entered the US Airforce in 1973 where he became an electronics engineer.

After an honorable discharge, he attended Brigham Young University in Kentucky and Tennessee Tech. He has a Bachelor's degree in chemistry, a Master's degree in statistics, and a Ph.D. in physics.

He has published more than 100 articles and papers on subjects ranging from radiation spectroscopy to transdimensional movement through space-time. He was a featured scientist in the 1997 Wendy Robbins' documentary on HAARP, "Holes in Heaven."

He is currently a consultant to the manufacturing industry, where his designs have saved or provided more than a thousand jobs in two states. He holds multiple patents in chemistry. He also teaches mathematics at Gaston College in North Carolina.

Dr. Agnew has recently co-authored a landmark publication on the creation of the earth, The Ark of Millions of Years in three volumes.

Radio Interview on "Coast to Coast"