"Never Betray a Friendship"

Friendship is Most Advantageous!

What-Buddha-Said.net (Jataka 538)

Before becoming the Buddha, the Buddha-to-be explained the Advantages of Friendship (mitta-nisamsa) in ten stanzas:

1. One who maintains genuine friendship, avoiding treachery by never betraying anyone, will whenever going far from home receive an abundance of hospitality. Many will obtain their benefit through this person.
2. One who nurtures genuine friendship will be honored in whatever country, village, town, house, group, or family one visits.
3. One who perpetuates genuine friendship will triumph over all adversaries. Robbers cannot overpower one; royalty will not look down upon one.
4. One who continues genuine friendship returns home with feelings of amity, rejoices in the crowds of people, and becomes the chief among one's own kinsmen.
5. One who keeps up genuine friendship, being hospitable to others, in turn, receives hospitality. Being respectful to others, in turn, receives respect and enjoys both praise and fame.
6. One who sustains genuine friendship, a generous giver, receives gifts. Venerating the worthy, will be venerated gaining prosperity and fame.
7. One who upholds genuine friendship shines brightly like fire, radiant like a deity. Prosperity and good fortune will never forsake such a person.
8. One who prolongs genuine friendship will enjoy abundant wealth. What is sown in one's field will flourish. The fruit of that which is sown is enjoyed.
9. One who carries on genuine friendship, in falling from a precipice or mountain or tree will be protected and will not be seriously harmed.
10. One who preserves genuine friendship cannot be overthrown by enemies even as the deep-rooted Banyan tree cannot be overthrown by a gust of wind.

More on Friendship (mettā)

Avoiding fools, associating with the wise (Bhikkhu Bodhi) - Friendship is the supreme way of life! (WQ) - The Buddha on Noble Friendship - Selfless Friendship is Sweetest - All Embracing Kindness - Metta (Loving-kindness) - Blazing Friendliness - United in Harmony - Friendliness Frees - The Good Friend - Good Friendship - Kalyanamitta

FRIENDSHIP
Rebirth Stories (Jataka Tale 538)
Sacred-texts.com (trans. by E.B. Cowell and W.H.D. Rouse, 1907)

He who is faithful to his friends may wander far and wide,
—Many will gladly wait on him, his food shall be supplied.

Whatever lands he wanders through, in city or in town,
He who is faithful to his friends finds honor and renown.

No robbers dare to injure him, no warriors him despise;
He who is faithful to his friends escapes all enemies.

Welcomed by all he home returns,—no cares corrode his breast,
He who is faithful to his friends is of all kin the best.

He honors and is honored too,—respect he takes and gives;
He who is faithful to his friends full meed from all receives.

He is by others honored who to them due honor pays,
He who is faithful to his friends wins himself fame and praise.

Like fire he blazes brightly forth, and sheds a light divine,
He who is faithful to his friends will with fresh splendor shine.

His oxen surely multiply, his seed unfailing grows,
He who is faithful to his friends reaps surely all he sows.

If from a mountain-top he falls or from a tree or grot,
He who is faithful to his friends finds a sure resting spot.

The banyan tree defies the wind, girt with its branches rooted round,
—He who is faithful to his friends doth all the rage of foes confound."

Science: friendship is more like art (audio)

Libby Denkmann, Francine Rios (Take Two/SCPR); CC Liu, Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly

I have two faces, one for real people and another for Facebook (Huff Post).

What are we watching, Chandler? - Oh, shut up, Rachel. - Yeah, Rachel, just watch.

.

The New York Times hit the Internet with a jolting question on Sunday: Do Your Friends Actually Like You?

In this age of  "likes" on Facebook and Instagram, social media can sometimes make friendships feel insincere. So what does friendship mean in this modern day?

Take Two explored this question with Alexander Nehamas. He is a professor of philosophy at Princeton University, and author of the book, On Friendship.
 

INTERVIEW HIGHLIGHTS

Why he studies friendship:

"I think that friendship is an amazingly important relationship in our lives. A life without any friendships is almost incomprehensible. But friendship is not a moral good. In other words, a very good friend can make you do things that are not at all good -- even though they are good friends. 

"There's a proverb that some people use that says, 'A friend can help you move house, a good friend can help you move a body' ...and yet at the same time, not only contemporary philosophy but philosophy from the time of Aristotle on -- at least in the way that we've read Aristotle -- has always thought of friendship as a moral good.

"Aristotle actually seems to believe that only virtuous people can be friends. And since he believes there are very, very few virtuous people in the world, there are very few friendships. And yet when you look around, you see there are friendships between any kind of people, and there is, as they say, honor among thieves as well."     

How friendship is like art:

"Great art can sometimes be very immoral, and yet we still value art, despite the fact that in many cases it goes against all our moral beliefs or commitments.

"So we love art, and we love our friends, and in very interesting ways, not only do they share this non-moral feature, but in both cases, it is an individual that we love, it's a particular work of art that we love, and even if other works of art have similar qualities, we may not like those other works of art.

"The same way that suppose you and I are friends, and I say, 'I like you, I love you because you're very intelligent.' And somebody says, 'Well how about George over there? He's even more intelligent.' And we say, 'I love your particular intelligence, the way you express your intelligence.' 

"All these expressions are ways to express that it's the very individual that we love, not the individual under a general description. And that's the same thing with works of art. So one feature that can be a wonderful feature in a particular work of art, say a particular color in a painting, the same color could destroy a different painting."

How social media has complicated friendships:

"One thing that social media is good for, I think, is to keep a friendship alive. What I don't think is very good is the idea that you can become a friend with somebody simply because you have friended each other on Facebook or whatever it is, because those relationships, they're not individual relationships.

"Because when I put something out on Facebook, I put it out for everyone who has friended me or whom I have friended... So the individual doesn't come in the same way when the relationship starts on social media. 

"I think that sometimes people meet through social media and then they continue their relationship, either in private without involving other people through the media, or personally, they go and meet each other. And then I think a friendship can actually flourish. But the pure use of social media to establish and preserve a friendship I think is hopeless."

• To listen to the full interview, click HERE.

On Friendship, Feelings, FanGirls, Fitting In

Kate Kennedy, (312) 379-9676 (amazon.com, Jan. 23, 2024); Ananda (Dharma Buddhist Meditation), Jen Bradford, CC Liu (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

One in a Millennial (Kennrdy)

One in a Millennial: On Friendship, Feelings, Fangirls, and Fitting In came out in January of 2024, written by Kate Kennedy. It has 4.5 out of 5 stars with only 38 ratings. But it's an Editors' Pick Best Biographies & Memoirs.

From yet another pop culture podcaster and a voice of a generation, it's a celebration of the millennial zeitgeist.

One In a Millennial is an exploration of pop culture, nostalgia, and the life lessons learned (for better or worse) from coming of age as a member of a much-maligned generation.

Kennedy is a commentator and host of the popular podcast Be There in Five, which focuses on millennial issues.

Part-funny, part-serious, Kennedy navigates the complicated nature of celebrating and criticizing the culture that shaped her as a young woman, while arguing that great depths can come from surface-level interests. [In other words, being shallow isn't all bad.]

With trademark style and vulnerability, One In a Millennial is sharp, hilarious, and heartwarming all at once.

She tackles AOL Instant Messenger, purity culture, American Girl Dolls, going out tops, Spice Girl feminism, her feelings about millennial motherhood, and more.

Kennedy’s laugh-out-loud asides and keen observations will have browsers and readers nodding heads and maybe even tearing up [the text]. More

• WQ Review: It's better than it sounds.

The Buddha on friendship

I'll be your friend. - Really? - No, I'm busy.

Not that a Kennedy isn't a great source of information on friendship, it's just that the ancient historical Buddha had a few things to say on that subject.

Noble friendship

The most famous thing he said about metta (Sanskrit maitri, "friendliness" or "loving kindness") was said in regard to noble friendship, or thinking kind and friendly thoughts toward noble ones. Who are the noble ones? They are those on the stages of enlightenment (bodhi, awakening).

They are guides and resources for us on the Path to the ultimate end of suffering that is called nirvana, complete liberation from all kinds of rebirth and suffering.

One day his famous and beloved attendant, Ananda, had an idea from things he had observed in the Monastic Community (Sangha). He saw how some enlightened persons were very friendly to others, and those others in turn advanced very quickly to the goal of liberation.

So, thinking he had a clever observation to make, he approached the Buddha and respectfully said: "It seems to me that noble friendship is half the spiritual life!"

The Buddha condemned this, saying: "Do not say so, Ananda, do not say so. Noble friendship is 100 percent of the spiritual life." Far from actually condemning what great Ananda had said, the Buddha asked him to intensify it, to proclaim just how valuable noble friendship is.

He goes on to explain WHY it's so valuable and important on the road to enlightenment. Because of friendliness, respect, and wise association, we approach enlightened people. And on account of approaching we give ear and hear the Dharma (the Buddha's Teaching of the Path to enlightenment).

We bear it in mind, practice it, see it modelled for us. And of all our noble friends in the world, the Buddha is the greatest noble friend (kalyana mitta). Why?

It is because he set rolling the Teaching, made known the Path, articulated the Dharma for everyone since then to practice and reach the goal. In that sense, he our best friend even if he is not here to thank. However, he did say there was a way to thank him, to honor him in the highest way. Worship? Sacrfice? Donations? No, no, and no.

He said he is paid the highest honor when someone puts into PRACTICE this Teaching he strived for so many years (45) and so many lifetimes (countless) to uncover and bring forth into the world again as "supremely-enlightened" or samma-sam-buddhas do.

What about normal friendship?

Did the Buddha have anything to say about regular things (you know, ordinary friendship, feelings, fangirls, and fitting in)? Yes!

In one long sutra (DN 31), a discourse called the "Advice to Householders" (Sigalovada Sutta), the Buddha talks about two kinds of "friends," the good friend and the bad friend.

• He talks about making money, getting rich, having a family, a good marriage, a well-organized house, fun, entertainment, and all sorts of things few would guess he knew anything about.

We all love the "bad friend," who is willing to do all sorts of bad things with us -- gambling, getting drunk/high, whoring around, going out to concerts and endless entertainments, and all sorts of legal troubles. How do we recognize people like this? There's a hidden danger to such people -- all they borrow and take, the crud they talk about us behind our backs, the trouble they get us in, the way the encourage our worst traits.

He talks about the "good friend," who protect us, help us, speak well of us, introduce us to and encourage good and useful things, accompany us in good stuff...the sort of people we usually take for granted, quiet and humble, having our backs when we need help or to borrow something. They're not like those two-faced jerks abusing the term "friend."

• In fact, some people might say the Buddha had more to teach ordinary worldly people (householders who just want money, love, a house, a relationship, kids, and all that weight) than he did the people with spiritual aspirations.

It's as if people think spiritual types (holy rollers) should just all ordain and become monastics, hermits, wandering ascetics, and spiritual nomads.

They can. But no one needs to do that. Every and anyone can practice right where one is. Just determine a goal: a better human rebirth, rebirth in one of the many heavens, the end of all rebirths, full enlightenment here and now in this very life... the first stage of enlightenment ("stream entry") with at most only seven (7) more lives to go....

Once that goal is determined, the rest is easy. There's a teaching for that in the Buddha's Dharma. What a friend the Buddha was to all living beings.

What is "Zen" (Chan) Buddhism?

(Let's Talk Religion) What is Zen Buddhism?

• China's Chan Buddhism
• Zen Buddhism (primarily in Japan)

What is jhana or "meditation" ("meditative absorption")?

• Bodhisattva (ideals) vows
• Śhūnyatā: "emptiness" (impersonal, interdependent)

We cannot get free alone but only by noble friendship

(Zenith Zen) Rather than running away, what if we were to stay to help just as we have been helped by others through countless lives?

Should we teach others, Friend, even females, or just lock ourselves up in a cloister? - Teach.

.

Teach us what you know, Bhante

It is unclear if this is an authentic Zen tale, but it is certainly true what the historical Buddha's position on "noble friendship" (kalyāṇa-mittatā) was.

For once when his attendant said, "Venerable sir, it seems to me that friendship is half the monastic life in this Doctrine and Discipline" [in Buddhism].

The Buddha rebuked and admonished him, "Do not say so, Ananda, do not say so!"

Ananda was baffled. Surely, friendship is a vital thing to the practice of Buddhism, to ever even hearing the Dharma (the path to liberation). It is so important that it is surely half the struggle in life, now that we have heard the path. Friends teach us, encourage us, inspire us, tell us what they have heard, what they have understood. But the Buddha, possibly shaking his head, continued.

This monk is my good friend, encouraging me to temporarily ordain as a Buddhist novice.

.

I dunno if I can continue. - Of course you can!

"Friendship is not the HALF of the high life [of intensive practice of the Dharma]; it the whole of it. For because of friendship, one hears the Dharma. And by hearing it, one practices it [with help, inspiration, and encouragement from good companionship with noble ones, which refers to people along the four stages of enlightenment]. And by practicing it, one becomes free and a friend to many others. Indeed, noble friendship is the whole of this path."

These are not exact quotes but the gist of what Ananda said and what the Buddha said back to further exalt the value of noble friendship in Buddhism. - Wisdom Quarterly

Friends over partners: Friendship at the center?

Rhaina Cohen (The Atlantic, Oct. 20, 2020);

What if friendship, not marriage, were at the center of life?

Ms. Kami West had been dating her current boyfriend for a few weeks when she told him that he was outranked by her female best friend.

West knew her boyfriend had caught snatches of her daily calls with non-lesbian Kate Tillotson, which she often placed on speaker mode.

But she figured that he, like the men she’d dated before, didn’t quite grasp the nature of their friendship. West explained to him: “I need you to know that she’s not going anywhere. She is my No. 1.”

 

Tillotson was there before him and, West told him, “she will be there after you. And if you think at any point that this isn’t going to be my No. 1, you’re wrong.”

If West’s comments sound blunt, it’s because she was determined not to repeat a distressing experience from her mid-20s. At that time her boyfriend had sensed that he wasn’t her top priority. In what West saw as an attempt to keep her away from her friend, he disparaged Tillotson, calling her a slut and a bad influence.

After the relationship ended, West, 31, vowed to never let another man strain her friendship. She decided that any future romantic partners would have to adapt to her friendship with Tillotson, rather than the other way around.

West and Tillotson know what convention dictates. “Our boyfriends, our significant others, and our husbands are supposed to be No. 1,” West told me. “Our worlds are backward.”

In the past few decades, Americans have broadened their image of what constitutes a legitimate romantic relationship: Courthouses now issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Americans are getting married later in life than ever before, and more and more young adults are opting to share a home rather than a marriage license with a partner.

Despite these transformations, what hasn’t shifted much is the expectation that a monogamous romantic relationship is the planet around which all other relationships should orbit.

• The Friendship Files: Friendly conversations with friends about friendship

By placing a friendship at the center of their lives, people such as West and Tillotson unsettle this norm. Friends of their kind sweep into territory typically reserved for romantic partners: They live in houses they purchased together, raise each other’s children, use joint credit cards, and hold medical and legal powers of attorney for each other.

These friendships have many of the trappings of romantic relationships, minus the sex. More

"Surrounded by friends? It's in your genes," study finds

Maggie Fox, Health & Science Editor (edited by Cynthia Osterman, 1/26/09)

Women silhouetted at a party in a London bar, 12/6/04 file photo (Toby Melville/Reuters).

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Are you a social butterfly, or do you prefer being at the edge of a group of friends? Either way, your genes and evolution may play a major role, U.S. researchers reported on Monday.

While it may come as no surprise that genes may help explain why some people have many friends and others have few, the researchers said, their findings go just a little farther than that.

"Some of the things we find are frankly bizarre," said Nicholas Christakis of Harvard University in Massachusetts, who helped conduct the study.

"We find that how interconnected your friends are depends on your genes. Some people have four friends who know each other and some people have four friends who don't know each other. Whether Dick and Harry know each other depends on Tom's genes," Christakis said in a telephone interview.

Christakis and colleague James Fowler of the University of California San Diego are best known for their studies that show obesity, smoking and happiness spread in networks.

For this study, they and Christopher Dawes of UCSD used national data that compared more than 1,000 identical and fraternal twins. Because twins share an environment, these studies are good for showing the impact that genes have on various things, because identical twins share all their genes while fraternal twins share just half.

"We found there appears to be a genetic tendency to introduce your friends to each other," Christakis said.

There could be good, evolutionary reasons for this. People in the middle of a social network could be privy to useful gossip, such as the location of food or good investment choices.

But they would also be at risk of catching germs from all sides -- in which case the advantage would lie in more cautious social behavior, they wrote in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

"It may be that natural selection is acting on not just things like whether or not we can resist the common cold, but also who it is that we are going to come into contact with," Fowler said in a statement. (Source)

• And if it's in our genes, it's in our karma (our "inheritance" from life to life). Ananda once said to the Buddha, "Half of the best life is based on friendship..."

Friends Power Up (this comic appear courtesy of nataliedee.com)

MORE FRIENDS: Buddhist Concept of Friendship

Sita Arunthavanathan (edited by WQ)

Some cynics groundlessly criticize Buddhism as a philosophy with supra-mundane ideals devoid of friendliness and love for living in this world.

But the Tripitaka (Three Divisions of the Buddha's Teachings) furnish us with ample evidence to the contrary. Notable gems prove that the Buddha considered living in friendship and harmony without disputes as important as human relationships based on love.

Metta, or "loving-kindness," envelopes much more than mere "love." Etymologically, the word means "of the nature of a friend" (mittassa sabhavo).

In other words, it means a spirit of friendliness based not only on love but on loving-kindness. In modern terms, the word "love" has hollow connotations. We're supposed to love everyone. But metta, from the perspective of its original sense, encapsulates all of the noble human feelings one person could shower on another.

Metta (loving-kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (altruistic joy), and upekkha (equanimity) -- ennobling patterns of behavior known as the four Brahma Viharas or "Divine Abidings" here and now -- form the anchor of Buddhist friendliness and ethical conduct.

The spirit of harmony and friendship promoted by these covers a wider spectrum than love, which cynics suppose is lacking in Buddhism.

It is mentioned in the Samyutta Nikaya that Ananda once approached the Buddha and remarked,

"Half of the superior life of renunciation is based on friendship, companionship, and association with the good!"

The Buddha replied:

"Ananda, do not say so! Not half, but the entire life is established on good friendship, companionship, and wise association."

The friendly disposition among Buddhist monks and nuns towards one another was admirable. So much so that King Ajatasattu, who was not particularly well disposed towards Buddhism, remarked that "the monastics lived in unity talking to each other with mutual friendliness...mixing with each other like milk and water and seeing each other with pleasant eyes" (Fruits of Recluseship discourse, Digha Nikaya).

He went even further and said, "How nice it would be if my son, Udayabhadda, too could possess these friendly qualities!"

Again, in the Middle Length Sayings (Majjhima Nikaya), the Buddha questioned the Venerable Anuruddha about how the monks were getting along with each other. The venerable replied, "Lord, we have diverse bodies but assuredly only one mind."

Types of Friends
As far as Buddhists are concerned, the Teachings are full of examples to show that the guidance of good friends is essential for life both here and hereafter. The Buddha described two types of friends, the Kalyana Mitta (a good or spiritual friend) and Papa Mitta (an evil friend).

"Do not keep company with evil friends or those who are mean. Associate with good and bold friends" (Dhammapada).

Parents strive to instill in the minds of their children the noble advice conveyed by this stanza. The Buddha noted that it was better to lead a solitary life than to settle for companionship with the foolish.

The Discourse on Great Blessings (Mahamangala Sutra) enumerates 38 blessings to guide one on life's journey. It starts with avoiding the company of fools.

Friendship is a force that has no parallel. There is no other single power that can generate good qualities in a person so well as friendship with the wise. But after a certain age, children stop emulating their parents and start imitating their friends.

The Buddha's teaching regarding friendship is helped tremendously by absorbing the contents of the Advice to Householders discourse (Sigalovada Sutra). Sigala was a young teen who had very devout Buddhist parents but was himself indifferent to the Dharma. The Buddha explained to him how to distinguish the harmful from the helpful friend:

A foe in the guise of a friend (Papa Mitta) will:

• take your possessions
• render mere lip service
• flatter you
• give little expecting much in return
• associate with you for his or her own advantage
• try to gain favor by empty words and
• when the opportunity arises to help you, will make excuses expressing an inability to help.

An evil friend can also be recognized because s/he praises and approves your bad behavior, whereas your good deeds go unnoticed and unencouraged. That person praises you in your presence but speaks ill of you in your absence.

The Buddha further explained how a foe in the guise of a friend brings about one's ruin in four ways:

1. One is a ready companion in indulging in intoxicants, which give rise to heedlessness.
2. One is a ready companion in frequenting the streets at unseemly hours.
3. One is a ready companion in attending unprofitable shows.
4. One is a ready companion in gambling, which leads to one's downfall.

On the other hand, the Buddha points out to Sigala the four types of friends to be reckoned dear and warmhearted.

1. One who is a helpmate
2. One who does not change in happiness or sorrow
3. One who gives good counsel
4. One who sympathizes

A wise person, having understood these four kinds of friends, ought to associate and cherish them the way a mother cherishes her only son.

According to the Nettippakarana there are seven qualities by which you can judge a friend. That person should be:

1. pleasant and lovable
2. respectful
3. worthy of emulation
4. willing to engage in useful conversation
5. willing to tolerate words
6. willing to engage in profound talk and
7. not one to exhort groundlessly.

There is a tendency today to shun good advice and show resentment when faults are pointed out even by loving parents. Another stanza from the Dhammapada provides an excellent bit of advice:

"One who points out your mistakes, declares them weaknesses and condemns them, think of that person as one showing you a treasure. Associate with wise people of that nature."

We see that a real friend need not always be sweet and soft spoken, but rather someone who sometimes resorts to constructive criticism.

How to Win Friends
The Buddha explained how to win and keep friends. There are four prominent ways:

1. By being generous one can surely win friends.
2. By being courteous
3. By being benevolent and
4. By rejoicing in other's achievements, praising commendable acts and strong points.

The Buddha mentioned that if you keep talking of your friends' goodness, kindness, greatness, and so on, you are trying to deceive them. In dealing with friends, one's word should be as clean and level as one's actions and intentions.

According to one Rebirth Tale (Jataka Pali), striking up a friendship is one thing, whereas maintaining it is another. The Buddha gave great advice not only on making friends but also on making the bonds of friendship stronger. For example, one should not visit friends too often or overstay one's welcome.

This changes the friend into a foe. If your friend loses something, then you may be under a cloud. Visiting a friend too often inevitably leads to gossip, which involves one in a vortex of troubles. The Buddha says that it is equally bad not to visit friends enough. One should judge for oneself how often they should be visited, how long the stay, and so on.

The Buddha pointed out that a friendship deteriorates by the excessive asking of favors, especially when sought at the wrong time. If you ask a favor at all, it should not be unreasonable or too demanding. Asking for favors far too often makes one more of a pest than a friend.

Ruin
The Buddha explained that if one wants to bring about one's own ruin or downfall, one need only associate with unprofitable friends (Papa Mittas) such as

• gamblers
• libertines
• tipplers
• cheats
• swindlers or
• violent thugs.

The Buddhist commentarial tradition defines a "friend" in the following way:

"A friend is one whose association leads to spiritual profitability, protects you from evil that may befall you, and is inclined towards your welfare."

In this way, Buddhism points out the basic ingredients to foster healthy friendships, minimize friction and displeasure, promote goodwill and companionship, and ultimately bring about one's welfare here and spiritual progress leading to the realization of the supreme bliss of nirvana.

These notable facts show that the Buddha's admonition regarding how to choose suitable friends, win them, and keep them expounded thousands of years ago surpasses all the books of the 20th Century on the subject since the Buddhist concept of friendship remains a vibrant force through time.

• (Original, unedited essay appears on Dharmamemphis.com)

Friendship as the supreme way of life

Wisdom Quarterly translation of SN 45.2

Thus have I heard. On one occasion the Buddha was living among the Sakyans in a Sakyan town of Sakkara.

Ananda approached the Enlightened One and, having respectfully bowed, sat down to one side. Then sitting there Ananda said to the Buddha, "Noble friendship, noble companionship, noble camaraderie is half of the supreme life (brahmacarya)."

"Do not say so, Ananda, do not say so," the Buddha admonished. "Noble friendship, noble companionship, noble camaraderie is the whole of the supreme life!

"When one has noble friends, companions, and comrades, one can be expected to develop and pursue the Noble Eightfold Path. And how does one with noble friends, companions, and comrades develop and pursue the Noble Eightfold Path?

"In the first sense, one develops right view dependent on seclusion [meditative withdrawal of mind and body], dispassion, cessation -- which results in relinquishment. One develops

• right intention
• right speech
• right action
• right livelihood
• right effort
• right mindfulness
• right concentration

dependent on seclusion, dispassion, cessation -- which result in relinquishment. This is how one with noble friends, companions, and comrades develops and pursues the Noble Eightfold Path.

"In another sense one may know how noble friendship, noble companionship, noble camaraderie is the whole of the supreme life: It is by relying on me as a noble friend [kalyana-mitta, teacher, guide, model] that beings subject to birth have gained release from birth, that beings subject to aging have gained release from aging, that beings subject to death have gained release from death.

"Indeed, beings subject to [dukkha] sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, and despair have gained release from sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, and despair.

"In this sense also noble friendship, noble companionship, noble camaraderie is the whole of the supreme life."

The Benefits of Noble Friendship
"When one has noble friends, companions, and comrades, it is to be expected that one will be virtuous, will dwell restrained in accordance with the training rules, consummate in ennobling behavior and conduct, and will train -- having undertaken the training rules -- seeing danger in the slightest fault...." (Udana 4.1).

Detachment and Compassion in Early Buddhism
Elizabeth J. Harris
To people looking at Buddhism through the medium of English, the practice of compassion and detachment can appear incompatible, especially for those who consider themselves to be socially and politically engaged.

In contemporary usage, compassion brings to mind outward-moving concern for others, while detachment suggests aloofness and withdrawal from the world. Yet Buddhism recommends both as admirable and necessary qualities to be cultivated. This raises questions such as the following:

• Compassion means to relieve suffering, detachment to remain aloof from the world, so how can the two be practiced together?
• Does Buddhist detachment imply a lack of concern for humanity?
• Is the Buddhist concept of compassion too passive, connected only with the inward-looking eye of meditation, or can it create real change in society? More>>

New society from the ashes of the old (sutra)

Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly; Narada Thera (trans.), Buddhist Publ. Society, Dighajanu Sutta: "Conditions for Social and Spiritual Wealth" (AN 8.54)

Towering Buddha monument in Theravada Thailand (happySUN flickr.com)

 

"See the candle burning low. [It's] the new world rising from the shambles of the old."
- "The Rover," Led Zeppelin

Translator's note: In this discourse, the Buddha instructs rich householders on how to preserve and increase their wealth and how to avoid harm to their prosperity. Wealth alone, however, does not complete a person nor make for a harmonious society. Great wealth all too often multiplies our desires and sends us spinning in pursuit of senselessly amassing more and more wealth and power. Our unrestrained craving leaves us deeply dissatisfied, stifling inner growth, and more often than not dealing with regrets. Craving creates conflict and societal disharmony -- inspiring the resentment of the underprivileged who become aware that they are exploited by the effects of others growing rich at their expense. The Buddha, therefore, follows up his advice on great material wealth with four essential conditions for spiritual wealth: confidence (in the teacher's enlightenment), virtue, liberality, and wisdom. These four instill in a person a sense of values. We then not only pursue our material concerns but also become aware of our duty (obligation, dharma) toward society. One implication of a liberality informed by wisdom and generosity is that it reduces tensions and conflicts in society. So observing the Buddha's enlightened advice on the necessary and sufficient conditions for material and spiritual welfare makes for an ideal citizen in an ideal society.

Sutra

Phan Tao Temple, Thailand (arztsamui/flickr)

Thus have I heard. Once the Exalted One was dwelling among the Koliyans in a market town named Kakkarapatta.

• [The Koliyans were the rivals of the Buddha's family, the Sakyans. But Queen Maha Maya, the Buddha's mother, belonged to the Koliyan clan, whereas his father, King Suddhodana, belonged to the Sakyan clan.]

Then Dighajanu [a banker, “long-kneed”], a Koliyan, approached the Exalted One, saluted him, sat respectfully to one side, and asked:

"Venerable sir, we are laypeople enjoying worldly pleasures. We lead a life focused on spouse and children. We use sandalwood of Kasi [a fragrant cosmetic from Varanasi]. We deck ourselves with garlands, perfumes, and creams. We use gold and silver [money and trade]. To us and those like us, O venerable sir, let the Exalted One teach the Dharma, teach those things that lead to wealth and happiness in this life and to wealth and happiness in the next life."

Conditions of Worldly Progress

Ancient alabaster Buddha in Sukhothai, Thailand (Ted Richardson/flickr.com)

 

"Vyagghapajja [Dighajanu's family name, literally, "Tiger's Path" so called because his ancestors were born on a forest path infested with tigers], four conditions conduce to a householder's wealth and happiness in this very life. What are the four?

"The accomplishment (attainment) of: (1) persistent effort (diligence), (2) watchfulness (vigilance), (3) noble friendship, and (4) right/balanced livelihood (defined below).

"What is the accomplishment of persistent effort?

"Herein [within this Dharma and Discipline], Vyagghapajja, by whatever activity a householder earns a living -- whether by farming, trading, rearing cattle [for milk], archery, royal service, or by any other kind of craft -- at that one becomes skillful and is not lazy. One is endowed with the power of discernment (wisdom) as to the proper ways and means. One is able to carry out and delegate (duties). This is called the accomplishment of persistent effort.

"What is the accomplishment of watchfulness?

"Herein, Vyagghapajja, whatever wealth a householder is in possession of, obtained by dint of effort, collected by strength of arm, by sweat of brow, justly acquired by right means -- such one cultivates well by guarding and watching so that rulers do not seize it, thieves not steal it, fire not burn it, water not carry it away, nor ill-disposed heirs preemptively remove it. This is the accomplishment of watchfulness.

Golden Buddha under the enlightenment tree in a magnificent hall (t3cnica/flickr.com)

 

"What is noble friendship?

"Herein, Vyagghapajja, in whatever village or market town a householder dwells, one associates, converses, engages in discussions with householders or householders' children, whether young and highly cultured or old and highly cultured, full of confidence [verifiable-faith based on knowledge rather than any kind of blind-faith], full of virtue, full of generosity, full of wisdom.

"One acts in accordance with the confidence of the confident, with the virtue of the virtuous, with the generosity of the generous, with the wisdom of the wise. This is called noble friendship.

"What is right/balanced livelihood?

"Herein, Vyagghapajja, a householder knowing the measure of both income and expenses leads a balanced life, neither extravagant nor miserly, knowing that thus one's income will stand in excess of expenses and not expenses in excess of income.

"If your outgo exceeds your income, your upkeep will be your downfall."

- American saying on personal finances

 

"Just as a goldsmith [tuladharo, literally, a “carrier of the scales”] or a goldsmith's apprentice knows, on holding up a balance, that by so much it has tilted down or by so much it has tilted up, even so a householder, knowing one's income and expenses, leads a balanced life. One is neither extravagant nor miserly, knowing that in this way income will stand in excess of expenses and not expenses in excess of income.

"If, Vyagghapajja, a householder with little income were to lead an extravagant life, there would be those who say -- 'This person enjoys property like one who eats wood-apple.' [The Commentary explains that one who wants to eat wood-apple shakes the tree, with the result that many fruits fall but only a few are eaten, with a much greater number going to waste]. If, Vyagghapajja, a householder with a large income were to lead a miserly life, there would be those who say, 'This person will die like a starveling.'

Losing Money

"The wealth thus amassed, Vyagghapajja, has four sources of destruction:

"(1) Debauchery, (2) drunkenness, (3) gambling, (4) or friendship, companionship, and intimacy with wrongdoers.

• [The Buddha defines "false friendship" in the Sigalovada Sutra (DN 31: A Brief Code of Buddhist Ethics) -- four foes in the guise of friends, who take things, make fake promises, flatter, and encourage ruin, all of which the Buddha details.]

"Just as in the case of a great tank with four inlets and outlets, if a person should close the inlets and open the outlets, and there should be inadequate rainfall, decrease of water is to be expected in that tank rather than an increase. Even so, there are four sources for the destruction of amassed wealth -- debauchery, drunkenness, gambling, and friendship, companionship, and intimacy with wrongdoers.

Making Money

"There are four sources for the increase of amassed wealth: (1) avoiding debauchery, (2) avoiding drunkenness, (3) non-indulgence in gambling, (4) friendship, companionship, and intimacy with the good-doers.

"Just as in the case of a great tank with four inlets and four outlets, if a person were to open the inlets and close the outlets, and there should also be adequate rainfall, an increase in water is certainly to be expected rather than a decrease. Even so, these four conditions are the sources of increase of amassed wealth.

"These four conditions, Vyagghapajja, are conducive to a householder's wealth and happiness in this very life.

Conditions of Spiritual Progress

Monumental statue with the Moon as the Buddha's aura (happySUN/flickr.com)

 

"Four conditions, Vyagghapajja, conduce to a householder's wealth and happiness in the next life. What are the four?

"The accomplishment: of confidence, virtue, charity, and wisdom.

"What is the accomplishment of confidence?

"Herein a householder is possessed of confidence, believing in the enlightenment of the Wayfarer (Tathagata): Thus, indeed, is that Blessed One: pure, fully enlightened, endowed with liberating knowledge and conduct, well-gone, knower of worlds, incomparable teacher of persons to be tamed, teacher of devas and humans, all-knowing [able to apply his mind to know anything], and blessed. This is called the accomplishment of confidence.

 

"What is the accomplishment of virtue?

"Herein a householder abstains from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, false speech, and from intoxicants that cause infatuation and heedlessness [lead one to heedlessly ignore the preceding four precepts]. This is called the accomplishment of virtue.

 

"What is the accomplishment of generosity?

"Herein a householder dwells at home with a heart free from the stain of greed (avarice), devoted to generosity, open-handed, delighting in charity, attending to the needy, delighting in the distribution of alms. This is called the accomplishment of generosity.

"What is the accomplishment of wisdom?

"Herein a householder is wise: One is endowed with wisdom that understands the arising and cessation (of the Five Aggregates of existence); one is possessed of the noble penetrating insight that leads to the destruction of suffering. [This suggests that one is a noble disciple, that is, a progressively enlightened householder such as a stream enterer or once returner.] This is called the accomplishment of wisdom.

"These four conditions, Vyagghapajja, conduce to a householder's wealth and happiness in the next life."

Energetic and heedful in every task,

Wisely administering wealth,

One lives a balanced life,

Protecting the wealth one has amassed.

Endowed with confidence and virtue too,

Generous and free of avarice;

One ever works to clear the path

That leads to wealth in future lives.

Thus to the layperson full of trust,

In one rightly called enlightened,

These eight conditions have been told

Which now and after lead to bliss.