Dealing with Death

It's an inevitable fact that, al-though one need not go any time soon, eventually... But more than that, there's radical-impermanence right now. We are not persisting from moment to moment. Things (mental states, feelings, experiences, circum-stances, physical conditions) arise, turn, and instantly pass away. They don't last for two consecutive moments.

The arising is a birth, the turning is decay, and the passing is a minor -- and after millions of minors, there's a major episode. We don't mind passing. But we mind when others pass. It's not fair! It shouldn't have happened!

We can, in fact, tolerate everything but our own passing. To increase our tolerance, it is just our own passing we should focus on and contemplate. Doing so enriches life, gives rise to gratitude and appreciation, and leads to the accrual of a great deal of merit.

In one sutra the Buddha explains that, as the Bodhisatta, he wished to give on a grand scale. But there was no one worthy, no Arhats, to receive it. Better than all that giving would have been contemplating impermanence for just the duration of a finger snap.* Whereas it's beneficial to cry, it's harmful to mope. Reflect or rest instead (and after the rest, again reflect).

• Immediate help: alchemy-of-grief

Dharma for Coping
Ven. Samahita

REFLECTION
· Why do we grieve when a loved one dies?: SN XLII.11
· Understanding of Death as a basis for Right View: MN 9
· Five subjects for frequent recollection: AN V.57
· Death comes rolling, crushing everything. Ready?: SN III.25
· Life flies by, faster than any arrow. What are we to do?: SN XX.6
· No shelter from aging and Death: SN II.19
· Your last day approaches -- no time to be heedless! Thag VI.13
· Life is brief -- practice ardently! Ud V.2
· As one of seven beneficial reflections: AN VII.46
· As a call to abandon grief and lamentation: Sn III.8
· The greatest protection for the layperson: Sn II.4

BEREAVEMENT
· Ven. Ananda's grief over Ven. Sariputta's Death: SN XLVII.13
· The Buddha's reaction to Ven. Sariputta's Death: SN XLVII.14
· Death by a runaway cow: MN 140, Ud I.10, Ud V.3
· Death by murder (see also Murder): Ud 4.3
· Death of daughter: Thig III.5
· Death of grandson: Ud VIII.8
· Death of son: MN 87, SN XLII.11 Ud II.7, Thig VI.1
· Death of spouse: AN V.49

OVERCOMING
· Overcoming Death by regarding the world as empty: Sn V.15
· Overcoming fear of Death: Thag XVI.1
· Four ways of overcoming fear of Death: AN IV.184
· Heedlessness leads one to Death: Dhp 21
· Putting aside worries as Death nears: AN VI.16
· Citta's deathbed conversation with some devas: SN XLI.10
· Sariputta's teachings to a dying Anathapindika: MN 143

(yick kh)

Buddha: "O disciples! Do not grieve! Even if I were to live in the world for as long as a kalpa (an "aeon" or a full "lifespan"), our coming together would have to end. You should know that all things in the world are impermanent; coming together inevitably means parting. Do not be troubled, for this is the nature of life. Diligently practicing right effort, you must seek liberation immediately. Within the light of wisdom, destroy the darkness of ignorance. Nothing is secure. Everything in this life is precarious."

BEYOND
· "Beyond Coping: Buddha on Aging, Illness, Death, Separation
· "Facing Death Without Fear" (Lily De Silva)
· "The 1st Noble Truth" in the Path to Freedom pages
· "Our Real Home" (Ajahn Chah)
· "The Last Sermon" in Inner Strength (Ajahn Lee)
· Straight From the Heart (Ajahn Maha Boowa)
· To the Last Breath: Talks on Living & Dying (Ajahn Maha Boowa)

*This "contemplation" did not refer to ordinary mulling over of an idea, but rather to seeing in an instant the rise and fall of phenomena in deep meditation.

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PHOTOS: 1. "Help" (ghpublications.com), 2. "Aging" children in Amritsar, India dress up like Mahatma Gandhi on the 139th anniversary of his birth (BBC), 3. "Grieving" bomb blast in Mumbai, India (BBC).