|Budai, fat laughing bodhisattva|
A: Paul Lynde: Loneliness.
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A: George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q: According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q: Back in the old days, when great grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A: Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.