In search of ego death: psychedelics

Let me tell you what I saw and what I want now:

We have discovered the female Alex Grey, the cosmic entheogenic artist who is a self-proclaimed Vajrayana Buddhist. Her name is Juli Garces. (Juliana Garces Art) The most powerful psychedelic of all is... It is so powerful that after I came back to ordinary consciousness, I started emailing monasteries (viharas) to ordain as a Buddhist nun (bhikkhuni) to be able to become an adept meditator to reach this state free of ego (anatta), full of wisdom and compassion.

Bliss, the absorptions, and the base of boundless consciousness

Ven. Nyanatiloka, Dictionary of Buddhist Terms, edited by Dhr. Seven, Wisdom Quarterly

Do Buddhist nuns meditate?

What is "Buddhist meditation" really? In fact, it is jhāna (meditation), which is referred to as "absorption" to distinguish it from later stages of developing insight (vipassana, satipatthana, anusati).

Meditative absorption refers eight states of super-consciousness or samadhi. First come the four (fine-) material absorptions. These correspond to exalted planes of the Fine-Material Sphere (Rūpa-Loka jhānas or rūpāvacara-jhānas).

• The only part of the "world" or universe most of us are aware of are our levels or planes of existence within the Sensual Sphere, where humans, lower-ET devas, subhumans (titans, ogres, garudas/kinnaras, nagas, gnomes, ghouls), animals, hungry ghosts, and hellions reside. Above the Sensual Sphere heavens, ET worlds, there are the Fine-Material Sphere worlds or planes of existence. And above these are the Immaterial Sphere worlds.

I get so absorbed in what I'm doing, I just flow.

These absorptions are achieved through the attainment of full (ecstatic-) concentration (appanā, see samādhi), during which there is a temporary but complete suspension of fivefold sense-activity and of the Five Hindrances (nīvarana).

The absorbed state of consciousness, however, is one of full alertness and lucidity.

If I were a nun, I'd meditate the jhanas.

This high degree of stillness, focus, single-pointedness (ekagata), laser-like concentration is generally developed or cultivated (bhāvanā) by the practice of one of the 40 subjects of tranquility meditation (samatha-kammatthāna).

The next four absorptions -- finer, more exalted, more refined, subtle, and sublime) are the four immaterial (arupa) absorptions. These (arūpāyatana) absorptions correspond to planes of the Immaterial Sphere (arūpa-jhāna or arūpāvacara-jhāna).

The text often met with in the sutras runs as follows:

Fine-material absorptions (rupa jhanas)

There was bliss, rapture, focus, lucidity...

(1) "Detached from sensual objects, O meditators, detached from unwholesome states of consciousness, connected with applied (vitakka) and sustained (vicāra) attention, born of detachment (vivekaja), and filled with rapture (pīti, joy, bliss) and happiness (sukha, satisfaction, contentment), one enters the first absorption.

(2) "With the subsiding of applied and sustained attention, and by gaining inner tranquility and unity (coherence, oneness, lucidity, cogency) of mind, one enters into a state free of applied and sustained attention, the second absorption, which is born of stillness (samādhi) and filled with rapture (pīti) and happiness (sukha).

(3) "With the fading of rapture, one dwells in equanimity, mindful, clearly conscious, and one experiences that feeling of which the noble ones say, 'Happy lives the person of equanimity and mindfully attentive mind'; thus, one enters the third absorption.

(4) "Transcending pleasure and pain, and through the disappearance of previous happiness and grief, one enters into a state beyond pleasure and pain, the fourth absorption, which is purified by equanimity (upekkhā) and mindfulness.

Immaterial absorptions (arupa jhanas)

Before and beyond form, there is consciousness.

(5) "Through the overcoming of perceptions of matter, however, and through the vanishing of sense-reactions and non-attention to perceptions of variety (papanca), with the notion, "Boundless is space," one reaches the sphere of boundless space (ākāsānañcāyatana) and abides therein.

• ["By 'perceptions of matter' (rūpa-saññā) are meant the absorptions of the fine-material sphere, as well as those objects themselves" (Vis.M. X.1). "By 'perceptions of sense-reactions' (patigha-saññā) are meant those perceptions that have arisen due to the impact of sense-organs (eye, etc.) and the sense-objects (visible objects, etc.). They are a name for the perception of visible objects, as it is said (Jhāna-Vibhanga): 'What are here the perceptions of sense-reactions? They are the perceptions of visible objects, sounds, etc.' Surely, they do no longer exist even for one who has entered the first absorption, etc., for at such a time the five-sense consciousness is no longer functioning. Nevertheless, this is to be understood as having been said in praise of this immaterial absorption, in order to incite the striving for it" (Vis.M. X.16). "Perceptions of variety (ñānatta-saññā) are the perceptions that arise in various fields, or the various perceptions" (ibid). Hereby, according to Vis.M. X.20, are meant the multiform perceptions outside the absorptions.]

(6) "Through the total overcoming of the sphere of boundless space, and with the notion, 'Boundless is consciousness,' one reaches the sphere of boundless consciousness (viññānañcāyatana) and abides therein. CONTINUED BELOW

ARTIST BIO

Shop - Juliana Garces Art

Juliana Garces, spiritual seeker and visionary artist, does artwork that reflects her deep commitment to raising the collective consciousness.

Her art journey is a continuous exploration of how visual forms can transcend language and open pathways to the infinite (boundless).

Grounded in her daily spiritual practices—meditation, yoga, mindfulness, and deep study of mysticism—her work reflects visions and experiences from realms that words cannot fully describe.

Juliana sees herself as simply a channel for cosmic creativity, doing her best to step aside and let the cosmic visions flow through her.

She doesn’t view the work as her own, but rather as something greater that she’s fortunate to be part of.

By tapping into the infinite space within all of us, she hopes to create pieces that serve as gentle reminders for others to reconnect with their own eternal nature. More

• (7) "Through the total overcoming of the sphere of boundless consciousness, with the notion, 'No-thing is there,' one reaches the sphere of nothingness (ākiñcaññāyatana) and abides therein.
• (8) "Through the total overcoming of the sphere of no-thingness, one reaches the sphere of neither-perception-nor-non-perception (nevasaññā-n'asaññāyatana) and abides therein."

"Thus the first absorption is free of five things (the Five Hindrances), and five things are present (the Five Factors of Absorption or jhāna-anga).

Whenever the meditator enters the first absorption, the Five Hindrances vanish:

1. sensual craving
2. ill-will
3. sloth-torpor
4. restlessness-scruples
5. skeptical doubt.

And these [in their place] are present [the Five Factors of Absorption]:

1. applied attention (vitakka)
2. sustained attention (vicāra)
3. rapture (pīti)
4. happiness (sukha)
5. stillness/concentration (samādhi).

In the second absorption, there are present: rapture, happiness, and concentration. In the third: happiness and stillness/concentration. In the fourth: equanimity (upekkhā) and concentration" (The Path of Purification, Vis.M. IV).

Having felt bliss, point me to nirvana!

The four immaterial absorptions (jhanas 5-8) are said to still belong, technically speaking, to the fourth absorption because they possess the same two constituents.

The fourth fine-material absorption is also the base or starting point (pādaka-jhāna) for the attainment of the higher paranormal spiritual powers (abhiññās). More

• Juliana Garces (julianagarcesart.com)/YouTube; German Theravada Buddhist scholar-monk Ven. Nyanatiloka (born Anton Gueth); Dhr. Seven, Ananda (Dharma Buddhist Meditation) (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Consciousness, reality, space-time illusion

(Beeyond Ideas) What higher dimensional beings look like (and they're watching) per Donald Hoffman

Wisdom of the East in Haiku (Alan Watts)

What is "zen"? It is jhana (Sanskrit dhyana, Chinese chan) or "meditative absorption" (WQ).

The simplest and most advanced form of art

Alan Watts is a British-American Zen genius

Alan Watts is translating haiku, which is regarded as the more sophisticated for its apparent artlessness, direct and unadorned.

• Haiku is not anything one wants to say in 17 syllables, as we are taught in the US, nor is it a rhyme. It is 17 on (phonetic units in Japanese) with no English equivalent. So, lacking an equivalent (of what linguists might call a phoneme or chunk), we have substituted syllables.

(IntelligenceExplosion) The lectures, books, and teachings of Alan Watts are commemorated at alanwatts.org. (More can also be found at alanwatts.com lovingly run by his son).

Why are haiku good? They are following many rules we are not told in English, where we just count syllables and chase pseudo-depth with something snappy and terse. "Brevity is the heart of wisdom." And of all the great haiku that ever came from the West, I have never heard something to rival the great American gay Jewish NAMBLA member Beat Poet Allen Ginsberg, author of Howl, or was it one-time Buddhist Jack Kerouac, author of The Dharma Bums and On the Road, perhaps Sephardic Jew Lawrence Ferlinghetti or American humorist Kurt Vonnegut.

Someone in the 1960s wrote a genius three-word punchline (copied by droll comedian or reprehensible copycat Michael Lowenberg, who dared submit it as an original thought in 2022) that repeated Internet searches do not find. I am forced to compose a facsimile from memory:

walking down the street

i look up, see a pigeon

then hear a high coo

2022 WINNER:

a cicada’s husk

grandfather in his best suit

hands folded, eyes closed

— Ngo Binh Anh Khoa

• Allen Ginsberg's Mostly Sitting Haiku, Collected Haiku (terebess.hu)
• Those Women Writing Haiku inspired the Beat Poets to try to write it (thehaikufoundation.org)
• How to use Haiku poetry for mindfulness (Rest Less)
• ARTS: How to Haiku: 1: What is not a Haiku (treeleaf.org)
• The 22 Best Haiku of 2022 | Society of Classical Poets

Can anything be a haiku?

Sheron Bellio (left) and Tim Conway Jr. (KFI)

Yoko Sakamoto (channeled by Sheron Bellio): Obstacles do not block the path; they are the path. Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be. A piece of bamboo bends but does not break. Only the hand that erases can write the truth.

Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything exists in relation to everything else.

A world, a torch, and without, torch drop -- a world of trouble. A haiku a brought to you by Sue Beh'rue. I write, I erase, rewrite, erase again, and then [put a spell on you].

The past has no past. A picture of a rice cake does not fulfill. To seek is to suffer; to seek nothing is bliss.

Tim Conway: I understand that your husband, Vic, is a worldly guy. He traveled the world. He spent a lot of time in Tibet, India, China, Vietnam, [Japan but] he said you met at Dalt's?

Yoko: Dalt's, the Dojo of the Smoothie...together we are One, filling each other up. *Gong*

Tim: You've got a little gong, too?

Yoko: A ding-dong with you, Tim Conway, a ding-dong.

Haiku lessons for American poets

Kokuu, Canterbury, UK (ARTS: How to Haiku, 1: What is not a haiku) edited by Wisdom Quarterly

Kokuu | treeleaf.org

(Treeleaf.org) I can’t speak for other languages, but haiku poetry taught at school in English is almost universally bad.

The basic instruction my 13-year-old daughter recently received was that a haiku is a three-line Japanese poem comprising 17 syllables in lines of five, seven, and five syllables respectively.

If one is lucky, one might be told that it is usually about nature and our relationship with the natural world. Is this correct?

Well, it is not totally incorrect, but it focusses the attention in completely the wrong direction and thereby misses out several important factors.

It is true that in Japanese, a count of 17 sound units (morae) are employed in a three-line sequence.

• Good haiku examples by Matsuo Basho

"Quietly, quietly,/yellow mountain roses fall
–sound of the rapids" (Matsuo Bashō)

However, an English syllable tends to be longer than a Japanese sound unit, so English Language Haiku (ELH) written in 17 syllables often to feel too bloated and long compared to their Japanese equivalents.

Moreover, most people writing haiku with the 5-7-5 structure in mind pay far more attention to getting the right number of syllables than forming a good poem. Few modern day ELH poets write in 5-7-5. Some do.

Most bad haiku (the plural of haiku is haiku) on the internet are written in 5-7-5. The syllable count is often achieved by adding adjectives until the magic 17 is reached.

The three-line structure is also not a good way to think about haiku. It is better understood as a poem composed of two essential parts – a phrase (two lines usually containing a verb) and a fragment (one line). This can either be fragment-phrase or phrase-fragment. More about this later.

Also a haiku isn’t a bunch of ideas and concepts. It is essentially a poetic form based on images, often coming from nature. Concepts can be included as well as images, but just concepts is far too heady and not nearly visual enough. Source: treeleaf.org

• AlanWatts.org, Jan. 17, 2015; KFI racist comedy duo Producer Sheron Bellio (impersonator) as "Yoko Sakamoto," wife of Vic the Brick Jacob, in conversation with suspended radio talk show host Tim Conway Jr.; composed, abbreviated, and edited by Dhr. Seven, Ashley Wells, Seth Auberon (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

That time the Buddha said he kills people

Dhr. Seven, Pat Macpherson (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly; Ven. Thanissaro (original translation), Kesi Sutta: "To Kesi the Horse Trainer" (AN 4.111 PTS: A ii 111) from accesstoinsight.org

Agustin Geraldo illustration (caveira, desenhos, transcendência. pinterest.com.mx)

.

The Buddha sits on a skull (ปลอดค่าลิขสิทธิ์)

[Thus have I heard.] One day Kesi the Horse Trainer went to the Blessed One (the Buddha), bowed, and sat respectfully to one side. Sitting there, the Blessed One said to him:

"Kesi, trained man that you are, trainer of horses to be tamed, tell me, how do you train a horse to be tamed?"

"Venerable sir, I train a horse to be tamed with gentleness, or [sometimes] with harshness, or with a skillful mix of both gentleness and harshness."

"But, Kesi, what if a horsed to be tamed submits neither to mild training nor to harsh training nor to a skillful mix of both mild and harsh training, what do you do?"

I will kill you, you untamable demon-horse!

"Venerable sir, if a horse to be tamed neither submits to mild training nor to harsh training nor to a skillful mix of both mild and harsh training then I kill it. And, sir, why is that? [I kill it thinking,] 'Do not let this be a disgrace to my lineage of teachers.' But, venerable sir, the Blessed One is the unexcelled trainer of [gods and men, that is, devas and human beings] those to be tamed. How do you train a person to be tamed?"

Prince Sid had a famous white pony, Kanthaka

"Kesi, I train a person to be tamed with gentleness, or [sometimes] with harshness, or with a skillful mix of both gentleness and harshness.

"In training with gentleness [I teach],

• 'Such is skillful bodily conduct [karma]. Such is the result of skillful bodily conduct.
• Such is skillful verbal conduct. Such is the result of skillful verbal conduct.
• Such is skillful mental conduct. Such is the result of skillful mental conduct.
• Such are the shining ones (devas). Such are human beings.'

"In training with harshness [I teach],

• 'Such is unskillful bodily conduct. Such is the result of unskillful bodily conduct.
• Such is unskillful verbal conduct. Such is the result of unskillful verbal conduct.
• Such is unskillful mental conduct. Such is the result of unskillful mental conduct.
• Such is [rebirth in] hell(s).
• Such is [rebirth in] the realm of animals.
• Such is [rebirth in] the realm of hungry ghosts.'

"In using a skillful mix of both gentleness and harshness [I teach],

• 'Such is skillful bodily conduct. Such is the result of skillful bodily conduct.
• Such is unskillful bodily conduct. Such is the result of unskillful bodily conduct.
• Such is skillful verbal conduct. Such is the result of skillful verbal conduct.
• Such is unskillful verbal conduct. Such is the result of unskillful verbal conduct.
• Such is skillful mental conduct. Such is the result of skillful mental conduct.
• Such is unskillful mental conduct. Such is the result of unskillful mental conduct.
• Such is [rebirth among] devas.
• Such is [rebirth among] humans.
• Such is [rebirth among] hellions.
• Such is [rebirth among] animals.
• Such is [rebirth among] hungry ghosts.'"

"But, venerable sir, what if a person to be tamed submits neither to mild training nor to harsh training nor to a skillful mix of mild and harsh training, what do you do?"

"Kesi, if a person to be tamed submits neither to mild training nor to harsh training nor to a skillful mix of both mild and harsh training then I kill the person."

"But, venerable sir, it is improper for the Blessed One to take life! Yet the Blessed One just said, 'I kill the person'!"

Venerable sir, teach and guide us to awaken. - This is skillful, this is not. Go practice Dhamma.

.

"Kesi, it is true that it is improper for a Tathagata [Wayfarer, the Buddha referring to himself] to take life. But if a person to be tamed submits neither to mild training nor to harsh training nor to a skillful mix of both mild and harsh training then the Tathagata regards that person as being neither worth speaking to nor admonishing.

• [NOTE: The Buddha never killed nor called for anyone to be literally killed. He did, however, lay down a "higher punishment" (brahma = "supreme" + danda = "rod," a figurative brahmastra). What is it? It is being shunned and ignored by the Sangha (the community of monks and nuns). This is not excommunication because it is not final, only a last resort to try to bring someone to his or her senses and correct a pernicious "wrong view" that person may be holding and acting on. See the case of Channa, the Buddha's charioteer who took care of his horse, Kanthaka. He later became a monk but was very proud of his affiliation with the Buddha as Prince Siddhartha. Indeed, this penalty had the intended effect: Ven. Channa came to his senses and, far from being "killed" was cured of his pride. See Channa Sutta.]

Buddha in the Ocean of Blood (Tatiana Basova)

"In addition, that person's noble friends (kalyana-mittas) in the pure life regard that person as being neither worth speaking to nor admonishing.

"Kesi, this is what it means to be 'utterly destroyed in this Doctrine and Discipline' [the Buddha's Teaching and Training] -- when the Tathagata regards one as being neither worth speaking to nor admonishing, and one's noble friends in the pure life regard one as being neither worth speaking to nor admonishing."

"Indeed, venerable sir, one is utterly destroyed [killed] if the Tathagata regards that person as being neither worth speaking to nor admonishing — and even one's noble friends in the pure life regard that person as being neither worth speaking to nor admonishing!

"Magnificent, venerable sir, magnificent! It is just as if one were to set upright what had been overturned, as if to reveal what had been hidden, as if to show the way to one who were lost, as if to carry a lamp into the dark so that those with eyes could see forms!

Kesi (Hinduism) is a demon in shape of a horse

"In the same way has the Blessed One — through many lines of reasoning — made the Dhamma clear. I go to the Blessed One for guidance, to the Dhamma, and to the [noble] Sangha [community of enlightened persons]. May the Blessed One remember me as a lay follower who has gone to him for guidance from this day forward for life."

• Kesi Sutta: "To Kesi the Horse Trainer" (accesstoinsight.org)
• Buddhism rejects death penalty/capital punishment

7 Steps to Heaven (and Beyond): Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm, BWSA, Dec. 19, 2018; Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

The Jhanas – Seven Steps to Heaven (and One Beyond) by Ajahn Brahm

(The Buddhist Society) "Relax to the max." Ajahn Brahmavamso Mahathera (aka Ajahn Brahm) was born Peter Betts in London, England, on August 7, 1951. He came from a working-class background then won a scholarship to study theoretical physics at Cambridge University in the late 1960s. After graduating from Cambridge he taught in high school for a year before traveling to Thailand to become a Theravada Buddhist monk and train with the world-famous Ajahn Chah Bodhinyana Mahathera.

Mindfulness, Bliss, Beyond: Ajahn Brahm

Ajahn Brahm (author), Jack Kornfield (foreword), 8/11/06; BU Yogi, Wisdom Quarterly

Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond: A Meditator's Handbook

Ajahn Brahm and other Theravadin monastics

This handbook is now in paperback, having received 4.7 stars out of 5 with 373 ratings. Buddhist meditation: it's not just a way to relax or to deal with life's problems. Done correctly, it can be a way to radically encounter bliss and to begin -- and sustain -- real transformation in ourselves.

In Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond, self-described meditation junkie Ajahn Brahm [a British monk from Cambridge University in the Theravada Thai Forest Tradition of Ajahn Chah] shares his knowledge and experience of the meditative absorptions or jhanas -- a core part of the historical Buddha's original meditation teaching.

Never before has this material been approached in such an empowering way, by a teacher of such authority and popularity. Full of surprises, delightfully goofy humor, and entertaining stories that inspire, instruct, and illuminate, Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond will encourage those new to meditation and give a shot in the arm to more experienced practitioners as well. AUDIO CLIP: Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond: A Meditator's Handbook (amazon.com)

Getting radical with Rev. MLK Jr. (video)

Vision Chasers, 7/17/18; Pfc. Sandoval, Ashley Wells, Seth Auberon (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Christian Reverend King and Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh were the best of friends.

MLK: "Beyond Vietnam" speech, April 4, 1967

(Vision Chasers) One year before his death assassination, Dr. King gave a speech criticizing U.S. involvement in Vietnam. Great consequences would follow. His criticism made him very unpopular towards the end of his life.

Full text of the speech: bit.ly/2NpyRUq. This and other speeches are featured in the book A Time to Break Silence: The Essential Works of Martin Luther King, Jr., for Students. To support the Vision Chasers channel, use this link whenever shopping Amazon: amzn.to/2xGNMGC.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr: The Unfiltered Radical

Boy, ya gotta get radical. - Whoya callin boy?

(UnionSolidarity) Does it matter that the good reverend and Christian pastor cheated on his wife? That's a cardinal sin of infidelity that rarely gets talked about due to his greatness as a visionary and preacher, a public speaker, the best of orators. While not as radical as Malcolm X, Rev. Dr. King was a great friend of Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, whom he nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Together they realized the overarching importance of imperialism in the United States' racism. The crimes the country was committing were not only against many of its own citizens but brown, black, and yellow people everywhere -- particularly Buddhist Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos, which it was secretly and illegally bombing to promote our US military-industrial complex. Sadly, when Dr. King dared to condemn the American War on Vietnam, many "liberals" turned against him, Black and white. He is held up now, but he was condemned and dismissed then.

Angel: Why we come to Earth (video)

Near Death Experience: I died and found out why "souls" come to Earth | NDE

(Beyond Death) Sept. 5, 2022. Today's near-death experience (NDE) comes from Jay who describes going through a tunnel as an orb of light and having an in-depth conversation with an angel (Sanskrit deva) about why souls (gandhabbvas) choose rebirth on Earth of all places with all its problems and fast learning. Subscribe ►  Podcast ► More NDEs ► Email in your own NDE to be narrated and told to the world: beyondthislife22@gmail.com  #nde #neardeathexperience #theotherside

L.A.-based Beyond Meat going to China

AP.org via KTLA.com, Sept. 8, 2020; Ananda (DBM), Ashley Wells (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Vegan Starter Kit (peta.org)

El Segundo-based Beyond Meat signs production agreement in China

Beyond Meat will begin making plant-based meat in China later this year under an agreement announced Tuesday.

They are building building two facilities outside Shanghai.

• El Segundo-based Beyond Meat reports jump in sales as more people try plant-based burgers
• Dunkin’ to launch Beyond Meat breakfast sandwich nationally

Production will begin later this year, with full production expected in early 2021.

Beyond Meat products made their Chinese debut in April at Starbucks, which sells the company’s imitation beef in lasagna, pasta, and a spicy wrap. [Sadly, most Americans have not yet stopped eating toxic gluten.]

Beyond Meat burgers entered Chinese grocery stores in June through a partnership with Alibaba.

This is Beyond Meat’s second international expansion this year. It opened a manufacturing facility in the Netherlands in June. More

Koans vs. "Stoner Thoughts" (cartoons)

Alden (World of Weed, Jan. 31, 2020); Crystal Ike (pinterest.com); Sipress; Dan Piraro (bizarro.com); Stivers; Crystal Q., Dhr. Seven, Seth Auberon (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

I've never been stoned, but I'm totally a Stoner.

Zen kōans are questions, stories, or statements, often part of ancient dialogues, that provoke the "great doubt," much like stoner thoughts.

They can be used to test a student's progress in Zen. Wait. What is "Zen"? The word is the Japanese attempt to pronounce jhana (Sanskrit dhyana, Chinese Channa) which means "meditative absorption."

IMPONDERABLE: "incomprehensible, unthinkable, surpassing thought, beyond rational comprehension, impenetrable, transcending the limits of thinking; not to be pondered or be driven mad."

Stoner Thought meme collection (pinterest)

It is not an imponderable nor a stoner thought, though it may sound like one, like, "Why do we have fingers, fingertips, and toes -- but no 'toe tips,' yet we 'tiptoe' but don't 'tipfinger?" or "How many zombies would Rob Zombie rob if Rob Zombie could rob zombies?"

STONER THOUGHTS

Control Your Thoughts (Zen Toons)

1. If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean or is the soap dirty?

2. If I buy a bigger bed, would I be left with more bed room but less bedroom?

3. When you compete with yourself, do you come in first place or last?

4. If life is unfair to everyone, does that mean life is actually fair?

5. At some point, your parents set you down and never picked you up again.

.

When is the Eternal Now? (Stivers)

6. If you clean a vacuum, do you become a vacuum cleaner?

7. Ice cubes float in a pool of their own blood.

8. If you tried to fail and succeeding, which did you actually do?

9. Are gingerbread men made of house or is house made of men?

Positive outlet? (Rino Piccolo)

10. Do pets name their owners?

11. Which came first, the plant or the seed?

12. If the word tomb is pronounced "toom," and womb is "woom," shouldn't bomb be "boom"?

13. Right now, you are both the oldest you have ever been and the youngest you will ever be. More

ZEN AWARDS: "Thanks" (Bizarro)