|Karma: The Buddha offers enlightened advice.|
But we will rebel and reject being told what is right and wrong, what has to be done, what has to be left undone.
|Is sex bad? Is it wrong? Is it allowed?|
So the Buddha goes on to say, should these things be done or left undone? Left undone, they say. How about nongreed, nonhatred, and nondelusion -- advantageous or detrimental? Advantageous, they say. That being the case, starting from that point, the Buddha teaches them the Dharma, and they are delighted and grateful because he did not say it was one way or the other.
He did not ask them to believe anything. He did not denigrate any other teachers. He did not exalt himself. He merely taught them from a point they could agree on, finding common ground, and developed the thread all the way to showing how the Dharma is of great advantage and leads to liberation.
|There's a bliss (piti) beyond and better than sensuality!|
|Before long, porn will ruin one's sexual ability.|
Well, here's the twist: In our normal way of thinking, as in a recent Wisdom Quarterly translation from the past few days, sensual pleasure is the only escape or temporary relief we can imagine from our suffering (dukkha -- disappointment, frustration, lack of fulfillment, unsatisfactoriness, pain). So anyone or anything that stands in our way of indulgence becomes a source of anger (dosa -- hatred, aversion, animosity, annoyance). Why?
We are steeped in delusion (moha -- wrong views, ignorance, confusion, misinterpretation) about what "suffering" is and what the actual escape from suffering is. So in our limited way of thinking, pleasure is good. Pleasure is great. Pleasure is release. We are junior hedonists; only it doesn't work. Hedonism is not a viable philosophy. Try it. We'll wait. See you back here in 50 years?
When you're shaking with palsy and decrepitude and claiming you lived a life of wine, women, and song...and are no closer to release than ever, except that you're now an addict and can't stop. The spirit is willing, but the body is failing. Your overcome by craving and sadness and frustration, hoping there's rebirth and future lives, fearing that there may be karma for how you got all your good times by wrong means. Trust us: hedonism does not work as a life philosophy.
|What do you think, Kalamas?|
When hormones rage in our youth, when TV and media provoke and incite (excite) us, when we're molested in this society, when we think "Everybody's getting some but me!" it's common to think we "have to" have it (sex in one form or another).
In time we calm down, learn restraint, self-control, sublimation. People, even avowed hedonists, don't do everything they want when they want (except for Cartman).
Monkeys in cages in zoos are not models of human behavior. They're not even models of monkey behavior in the wild. Their obsession is an aberration brought on by being locked up in an impoverished environment. Rats in cages prefer drugs. Rats in enriched, naturalistic environments might like drugs but they don't obsess and cling. They don't become addicts.
|Monkey mind: Don't think about sex.|
Canadian addiction treatment specialist Dr. Gabor Mate explains that addictions to sex or drugs or anything are due to being set up by early childhood trauma and subsequent stress and exposure to some distracting stimulation.
Any dysfunctional source of stimulation can become an "addiction" or pernicious habit [masturbating, watching porn, texting, acting out, drugs, alcohol, sugar, shopping, etc.] even if the thing in and of itself is not addictive (because if it were, everyone exposed to it would become addicted, and they clearly do not).
- Rule 34: Porn on any subject
- Addiction: In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts
- What should a Buddhist do? The Buddha explains in the lengthy discourse translated by Wisdom Quarterly, The Sigalovada Sutra ("Advice to Sigala")
- Epic History of Masturbation Around the World: I (Josh O'Connor) remember being a 12-year-old Catholic schoolboy, cloistered in a dark confessional, admitting the sin of masturbation to a priest who I saw every day and who knew my voice. Thank God for the code words “impure thoughts” and “impure acts.” Father Joe -- who’d sat through the confessions of every other boy in my class in the past half hour -- let me off with three Hail Marys.
|Look, technically, it's not disallowed (dose.com)|