Stop fighting LUST! Do this instead | Christian method
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Resist not evil: be mindful and stop | Buddhist method
How to stop dirty thoughts | How to not be controlled by lust | Buddhist story
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What is the Buddhist method?
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| Man, religions is bummer, Sid. - I know, Jess. |
But this is cute story (second video) suggests the first three very important things to do to tame lust:
- guard the senses,
- choose good companions/friends, and
- practice "right mindfulness" (samma-sati).
Wrong mindfulness won't work and may well be harmful, and regular "mindfulness" is not likely to include what the Buddha meant by this word (sati = mindfulness, bare awareness, vigilance), which modern psychology and pop culture has adopted and hollowed out until it's nearly a meaningless shell of a buzzword meaning nothing more than "awareness" or "attention."
The most important component of Buddhist mindfulness is not awareness of what is happening in this moment but to radically accept and dispassionately observe what is happening at this moment without rejecting it, encouraging it, or distorting it. See what is and let it be. Being vigilantly attentive to all that is going on internally without turning away or trying to make it something else, this is mindfulness.
The opposite of mindfulness is distraction, inattention, personal involvement, getting carried away by what is observed, identifying with it, judging it, measuring it, trying to fix it, struggling against it, resisting it, craving it, getting confused by it, thinking about it, reacting to it, or taking it personally.
Just be the watcher, accepter, and patiently dispassionate observer of whatever arises and all that is because in this way in time it may be possible to see through things and see their true nature. Then there is no need to cling, reject, or become bored or confused with anything.
It takes a lot of play and persistence until it becomes habit, but it is immediately effective when done correctly. A lustful thought arises. The moment we are aware of it, it has already passed. We do not reject it, try to push it away, resist it, berate ourselves for it having arisen, nor anything like that; we do not reach for it to grasp it, become attached, cling to it; we do not become involved, identify with it, try to change it. or make it something else, or take it personally.
When it just is, whatever it is, then it is fine. As soon as there's a problem it's because we have fallen into one of the defilements (one of the specific characteristics of the Big Three: greed, hatred, delusion or passion, aversion, ignorance).
Who in the world would want to give up lust?
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| This is cool, Jess. - I know, we're helping ppl, Sid! |
According to ancient sources he studied as a Buddhist monk or lama at Hemis Gompa, a Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Leh, Ladakh, modern India, when this Himalayan region was part of Tibet.
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| The Lost Years of Jesus |
The original source of this documented historical fact was a Christian, not a Buddhist. It was Nicholas Notovitch. Buddhists maintained the written records, but Christendom was not going to stand for such an intimate connection between an Abrahamic faith and a Dharmic religion.
Whether people want it to be true or not, the written record still says what it says. Notovitch was neither the only one to see nor the only one to publish an account of seeing it firsthand, And there is that giant gap of time in the official Christian record of where St. Issa was a missing 18 years. He was studying spirituality and coming into his mission (ministry).
The parables of this teacher are to this day very Zen, and people have noticed, and the BBC has made a documentary about it, but Christians prefer to live in ignorance and to turn their back on biblical scholars about what Christianity teaches and what it does not.
No Jew was answering questions in such a way, but an Essene, a monastic (wandering ascetic) going around rebelling against the temple religion just as the Buddha had done centuries before him as he turned his back on the Brahmin priests and their ancient Vedas ("Knowledge Books").
Neither Siddhartha Gautama nor the Buddha (the "Awakened One") needed St. Issa (Jesus) or the Jewish God (YHWH, Jehovah, Asherah's husband). The Buddha, by his awakening, realized the solution to suffering. The solution is not rebirth in heaven. Such rebirths are very nice, and there are many levels of heaven.
The Buddha taught the path to rebirth in all of these heavenly worlds. But he did not give that as a solution to suffering. While such worlds are very pleasurable, very peaceful, very long lived, and bright, they are not release, not freedom, not the end of suffering. Sadly, as long as life lasts there, they are not eternal. So rebirth in such worlds cannot be the solution.
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| Think other faiths have figured some things out? |
If we choose rebirth in heavens (sagga), it is important to be good. But how good? At a minimum, humans are wise to keep five precepts: to abstain from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, deceiving, and intoxication. Doing so leads to rebirth in the human world or in the lower sensual heavens. These planes of existence are considered the lowest good rebirths.
Below the human planes, rebirth is considered the "downfall" or niraya. It includes rebirth into animal, demon (demigod), ghost, and hell realms, each being worse than the former. Rebirth in these places is called the "downfall" or "downward path" because it is uncertain when one will ever get out again as there is no easy way to make any good karma (deeds).
The opportunity for doing so is very rare. One must then rely on past good karma to come to fruition. Rebirth as a human is good but it is fraught with dangers. One is very close to the edge here, and it is not likely one ever hears a good teaching or doctrine that instructs one even in the basics of good conduct (meritorious karma that ripens in better worlds).
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| Jesus Lived in India |
As good as any "heaven" or deva ("shining one") world is compared to the human world, each higher heaven is far better than the former. What sort of karma results and bears fruit by leading to or sustaining a life in a heavenly world of beauty, ease, pleasure, longevity, and progress?
It is maintaining the Eight Precepts, Ten Precepts, or attaining the meditative absorptions (jhanas), which are weighty good deeds. Each leads to rebirth in a corresponding heavenly world determined by its strength (initial, intermediate, or mastery).
What, however, will ruin, obstruct, or be a hindrance to the doing of any of these good deeds? Greed (lust), hatred (anger, aversion, fear), or delusion (not knowing, wrong views, ignorance, confusion).
We can then begin to appreciate the value and importance of getting lust under control or, at least, not being controlled by it. How wonderful lust seems when we are able to get what we seek and wish for?
But when we are not able, how does lust feel? How does craving, grasping, and clinging to what we are unable to get? It is torment. It is hellish. It is or can be excruciating. Let it go. But we can't! We're attaching, we're obsessed, we're addicted!
When, for example, one is about to ingest heroin it is probably good to crave heroin, desire heroin, and cling to heroin. (If one does it mindfully, one may see that this cycle of addiction and ingestion is a trap, a trick, an unsustainable process with no way out because it will not end. That is to say, the heroin will certainly end but not the craving for it.
How good, then, is sexual lust or attachment to any of the senses? (Desire for pleasant sights, sounds, scents, sensations, or savors is a lure with a hidden hook, a shiny thing with a hidden danger, like licking honey from a razor used to scrape it off a honeycomb. It's pleasant until the tongue is nicked or sliced open.
Why do people take aphrodisiacs? It is because when sexual contact and release are available, impotence or lack of appetite is terrible. When food is unavailable, hunger is horrible, and no one takes hunger-stimulants. Instead, we seek appetite-suppressants. So when are appetizers good? When food is abundant and our interest in eating it is lukewarm, suddenly appetizers are considered good. That's why we order them before the main course.
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| Bible scholars say one thing, Christians say another |
So this should be understood about lust while living in a place of abundance like America during the good times (because certainly the bad times come). Lust will hurt, even to the point of committing suicide to stop that hurt, two times in two different ways? What are they? We are all intimate with lust. But how many of us see the twofold danger in it?
When we fail to get what we wish for, lust for it hurts. Paradoxically, when we get what we wish for (and it fails, as it must, to fulfill us, to finally-satisfy us, to satiate us once and for all). Isn't that strange? Whether we get what we want or fail to get what we want, lust still hurts.
Think about it. I want a car and a better car and the best car -- and I don't get it. That sucks! Now look at my rich, lucky, and successful neighbor. S/he wants a car and a better car and the best car -- and gets it. That sucks! How? S/he got what was wished for. It sucks because that person is not satisfied. It has all the costs of protecting it, insuring it, worrying about it, maintaining it, and keeping it but not of the implicitly promised rewards.
It did not cure my neighbor of wanting it, wanting an even better or different car; it didn't make her/him sexy and irresistible; it didn't make that person powerful, young, beautiful, healthy, long lived, smart, cool, or the envy of all the world the way the commercials and advertisements implied that it would. Those things are what we actually want from a car but do not get.
Only the successful get to find this out. Everyone else keeps being deluded: "If only" I had that, I would be happy, I would no longer want for anything, I would be fulfilled, I would be complete.... Just ask any heroin addict, "How is this heroin going to make you feel?" I would be happy, I would be fulfilled, I would be complete, I would be done...until it wore off and I needed the next dose and, you know, I don't even get much of any pleasure out of it anymore, and yet I can't do without it. That's lust.
It is never satisfied by fulfilling our lusts, and yet we are miserable without it, not seeing the hidden danger. There is actually a third danger, maybe one too obvious to mention. And that is, What will lust make us do to get what we want, crave, need, desire, are attached and clinging to? What won't we do for it if the lust gets bad enough? So, yeah, there's that. But only anyone with leisure and plenty has much chance of figuring that out.
So we tread on and on and on, wishing for this, searching for it, getting it, devouring/experiencing it, then seeking for something else to give us the same rush and thrill and promise of fulfillment (that never comes) but we keep falling for it, like a donkey chasing a carrot on a stick strapped to our own head.
So continue with sexual lust and trying to satisfy the abyss or find a way to remove the lust so that peace and progress toward a better future can be made?
People nowadays would rather be nihilists and hedonists. There's no future, no tomorrow, no rebirth, no afterlife, and so the only sane thing to do is become hedonists now (which seems to be the secular Jewish approach after rejecting the tougher religious Jewish way) and enjoy everything by any means necessary, morality be damned, others be damned, the whole world and God with it be damned cuz I gots to get me mine and expect yous to do the same. What a world, what a world, so all we can say is
- rebirth is real,
- there is an afterlife,
- we get our just desserts in the long run,
- and therefore karma can be our best friend or our accuser, as we make it.
- "Karma: It's wherever you're going to be."
- That being the case, choose to refrain from harm, choose the profitable, choose the compassionate, kind, beneficial, and even if it's Christianity, choose it and do it.
- And know that lust is harmful, and if there's a way to overcome it (because fighting it sure hasn't been working), learn it, try it, do it.
- The Buddha has answers, and apparently so do other religions for the basics.
- Morality is basic; it is not exclusive to Buddhism.
- What is exclusive to Buddhism is the end of all suffering by means of nirvana. No other teacher teaches that, and it is not for everyone. It is for the wise.
- Remember, Christians may hate Buddhism, but Buddhism does not hate Christianity or Jesus or the God. It's fine with the Buddha if anyone wants to follow those things or anything else.
- Christian may hate Buddhism, but we don't think God or Jesus or Mother Mary hate it. They might. But we think it's just some Christians acting out of fear, ignorance, allegiance, or identification. Ask God, "Hey, God, do you hate Buddhism?" He might. Who knows? He's an "angry and jealous god" according to his bestselling book. Ask nice Jesus, too, "Hey, Jesus, WWJD? Would he hate Buddhism?" We hardly think the good lord hates anything, but he might. Maybe it's sin, and maybe he hates sin. Ask Mary, too. Then ask Christians. See how they rage or condescend, close their minds or imagine they're doing their God's will.
- What the Buddha taught transcends those things, brings defilements to cessation (for the one who practice this teaching regardless of what one "believes"), and leads to higher rebirths or the end of rebirth.
- None of this may make sense now, but when one matures and has a great deal of life experience, one will see how extraordinarily wise the Buddha was and why he is known as the unexcelled teacher of devas and humans.
- Say what you want about your religion, whichever religion it is, but all that matters is that we practice, and those practices either work to free us or do not.
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