Rise of the "virtual orgy": sex goes online

Mike Morris (Red Light Network); Crystal Q., Ashley Wells, Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Host an orgy. What could go wrong?

Fed up with lockdowns and missing [imaginary] sex parties?

The plandemic has temporarily changed our way of life in ways as diverse as how we work and how we "meet" friends and family to how we date and get "intimate."

The Red Light Network has recently featured ways for couples to stay "physical" under lockdown with long distance s*x t*ys.

But now the coronavirus is also being blamed for the rise of the virtual orgy. Mandatory social distancing is incompatible with sex clubs and swinging, so the internet is once again the solution for people who still want to attend parties.

Let's take a look at the creative ways the swinger and sex-positive communities have found to keep their groups alive and how the coronavirus has created a new kind of sex club.

What is an online sex party?

Sex sells, but who's buying? Could it be KLOS listeners trying to date mom DJ Marci Wiser?

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Sex has become a desperate obsession.

A virtual orgy is a group sex party where the invited guests aren’t actually in the same room together. Instead, they log in to a virtual "room" hosted by an organizer and [pretend] using video-telephony while they m*st*rb*t* together.

Or, if two people are logging in from the same location, [and they are exhibitionists, they may] broadcast themselves having relations to the rest of the room.

Fundamentally, the idea is not dissimilar from live cam action, but instead of being performed by one pro on a public network, there are multiple amateur performers, and the [pocket pool] party is private.

Imagine a work video-conference over Zoom but instead of all those little windows being occupied by your [pantless] shirt-and-tie wearing colleagues, they are each displaying the [hairy] genitals and [dumpy] naked forms of multiple men and women…most of whom will probably be strangers to one another.

Otherwise known as a virtual c*rcl* j*rk, online parties of this kind are rapidly becoming the next big thing in a COVID-19 world that has largely been forced into lockdown [again and again, as has happened in the U.S.] during this pandemic. More

Buddhism, Sex, and Misconduct?

Editors, Wisdom Quarterly, COMMENTARY

Earliest Buddha human image (Gandhara)

What is sexual misconduct? The practice of Buddhists differs, particularly liberal Western Buddhists.

So we must look back to the ancient texts to see if our modern sexual conduct is misconduct. We commit to avoiding harm -- of ourselves, our partners, and their partners.

"Cheating" is oddly defined in the East as not what a person in a relationship does so much as what one does with someone in a relationship.

(Consider how in the West we think that so long as we are single, we are blameless. But in fact much blame and censure accrues to both single and married partners, one for cheating with someone and the other for cheating on someone).

The texts are very clear that sex with ten types of people is "sexual or sensual misconduct" (kamesu micchacara). All of these people are unable to give their consent because they are "under protection" of someone else -- a family member, a community, or the society (the law).

Are you under protection? - What?!

To have consensual sexual relations, therefore, is easy: Find an independent single person of age who wants to. Sex is a manifestation of lust is a kind of grasping and clinging, obsession and thirst (tanha), desire and craving.

And this cannot be good because how is one to let go, detach, become dispassionate if one is obsessed with sensuality. Without letting go, even temporarily through insight, is absolutely essential to awakening and enlightenment, to glimpse nirvana and gain right view.

But most Buddhists are not after this lofty goal any time soon. As such, most will engage in sex and delight in it. That can be moral, within the bounds of restraint (sila), free of harming anyone.

Think of and have compassion (or fear and moral dread, hiri-ottappa) for those who would be harmed if we just go after any sexual partner we can wrangle: daughters or sons under protection of parents or family members, spouses or those who are promised in marriage, spoken for (dating), or engaged.

If we strive to do no harm, knowing that having sex with someone protected by another causes the most hurt short only of killing, we will abstain from it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea to go after.

All Five Precepts are this way. Instead of killing, let's let go of taking life. Instead of stealing, let's let go of taking what is not given. Instead of engaging in sexual misconduct, let's let go of taking sexual liberties. Instead of deceiving, let's let go of abusing the truth. Instead of intoxicants, let's let go of intoxication that occasions heedlessness (i.e., causes us to do things we would not do sober and in possession of our senses).

Sex (such as fornication or sex outside of marriage bonds) is not bad or forbidden in Buddhism. But many individual Buddhist cultures tell us that it is and may even treat it like a great crime, a shameful thing that is rigorously patrolled and controlled to avoid social problems.

So it's good or bad? Make up my mind!

When we read the ancient texts (sutras and commentaries), however, they reveal that spirituality, mindfulness, morality, and generosity (being able to let go) are much easier when we abstain from erotic, possessive, romantic, deluded, and egotistical behaviors. So exercise restraint. Restraint is good for everyone.

But now with a sense of restraint and caring for others, sex can be a responsible and delightful.

The vast majority of people will be doing it or are doing it, and guilt and shame about it -- if care is taken to harm no one, not even ourselves -- this guilt, shame, and remorse is not ill-founded and harmful karma.

Have integrity, character, and standards. Be congruous with that integrity and those character traits and standards that are praised by the wise.