Religion is horrible: reasons to leave

Jake Farrington, BuzzFeed, 3/20/23; Sheldon S., A. Wells, CC Liu (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

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People are sharing the reasons they left organized religion, and I am shocked, appalled, and disgusted

(Lions Gate Films/Courtesy Everett Collection)

Regardless of where in the world we grew up, the likelihood that we participated in organized religion in some way at one point in our life is pretty high.

A lot of people find solace within organized religion, while many others find it to be harmful and end up walking away.

I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell me about the moment they realized that organized religion was no longer for them, and I got hundreds of responses. I just want to say right now how grateful I am to everyone who shared their story with me. I read every single response and wish I could have included them all.

CONTENT WARNING: sexual assault, child abuse, racism, anti-LGBTQIA!

1."My ex-husband cheated and got another woman pregnant. He expected ME to raise the baby because she wanted an abortion and he 'didn't believe in it.' So he had this plan all worked out...except I wouldn't play along. I went to seek an annulment from the church and the priest I spoke with basically told me to, 'Look inward, to discover the root of his infidelity,' (translation: it's my fault he cheated) and to, 'Turn the other cheek, as Jesus taught us,' (translation: let it continue). I divorced him AND the Church." — catnelsonl

2. "I was raised Latter Day Saint and I remember speaking to my Young Women's leader and we were talking about the importance of tithe — the 10% of your paycheck you are supposed to give to the church. I'll never forget when she told me, 'God will forgive you for murder. He won't forgive you for not paying tithe.'"

— Anonymous

• "My father was a union worker when I was in high school. His union went on strike for several months and we had to go on food stamps. The church sent my parents a 'bill' for their tithe. My mom wrote a letter to the church explaining their financial situation. The letter back from the church said they understood but that they needed paying church members, so they were sorry but my family was no longer welcome." — Anonymous

3. "I helped lead worship at a church, and they would debate how to structure the worship songs to get the biggest emotional reaction out of people. All of the talk of ‘feeling God in the room’ was just an intentionally manufactured experience."

— Anonymous

4. "While teaching at a Catholic school, the pastors made me lose every ounce of faith I had. Seeing them behind the scenes and how they treated the people that work for them was horrendous. Yet they put on a show every Sunday. I know that not every pastor is like that, but most of the ones I know are very similar." — k535

Did God bless or curse me?

I'd rather go to Ren Fair and have some fun.

"In middle school, I went to a Southern Baptist private school. It was drilled into my head that women needed to cover up and be modest, and that my job in life would be to marry a Christian boy and have Christian babies. I was a size DD by the time I was a freshman in high school and boys started to notice and make comments. When I complained to my teachers, I was told I needed to wear baggy clothes, which I did. I started wearing black or neutral tones to fade into the background, participated less in class so people wouldn't look at me. It all came to a head my junior year in high school when I was sexually assaulted at CHURCH in a bathroom by the pastor's son who I also went to school with. The pastor blamed ME. I was done with religion that day and so were my parents. It screwed up my head for YEARS." — candacea4271c944b More