JOKE + One Teacher, Many Traditions

Amazon, 1/24/17; Jen Bradford (Dharma B Meditation), Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Dharma Teacher Seven tells this Buddhist joke: One day the Dalai Lama, a very wise and compassionate leader, was troubled that there were so many Buddhist schools.

"We should all be One," the Tibetan pope thought. He consulted with his Oracle and rinpoche-advisors, who suggested a convention, bringing together all the traditions --

• the Maha-yana or 'Great Vehicle,'
• the Hina-yana or 'Lesser Vehicle,'
• the Vajra-yana or 'Diamond Vehicle,'
• the Mantra-yana or 'Sound Vehicle,'
• the Tantra-yana or 'Esoteric Vehicle,'
• the Thera-vada or 'Teaching of the Elders,'
• and so on...

to iron out their differences and unify behind a single creed and teaching.

He sent invitations out to temples all over Tibet and around the world, asking schools to send their enlightened representatives to a gathering. The Buddhist countries were overjoyed to be invited for such a good cause. And to show their support for their teacher, all arhats, they dressed them up in the finest robes and provided them with the most luxurious cars -- Bentleys, Lincoln Continentals, Mercedes, stretch limos. No expense was spared.

They all congregated in the Tibetan capital, Lhasa, at Potala Palace, a kind of Vatican at the heart of the old Himalayan empire, with its cardinals and bishops (rinpoches and high-lamas).

No Parking (Tow Away Zone)

But there were No Parking signs posted everywhere. So cars parked illegally all around the palace, fighting for spots, honking and creating a commotion, bickering: "I'm here by special invitation of His Holiness! It's fine for me to station my car wherever I like," shouted the leader of one school.

The leader of another school proclaimed, "I'm a VIP, an emissary of a faraway land, here by personal request, so my limo needs to be parked as close as possible!"

Yet another shouted them down, proclaiming his eminence and importance: "His Holiness needs me inside right away to get this convocation off the ground; get out of my driver's way!"

The honking and commotion got so bad that the Dalai Lama himself had to come down to settle the petty quarrelling and incessant honking.

He waved his arms and tried to calm them with a gentle voice over the din and clamor to no avail. Finally, he climbed on top of a limousine and settled all arguments, stating: "Maha-yana! Hina-yana! Vajra-yana! -- all VEHICLES will be towed!"

Buddhism: One Teacher, Many Traditions

Explore with the Dalai Lama the common ground underlying the diverse traditions (schools) of Buddhism.

Buddhism: One Teacher, Many Traditions was put together by the 14th Dalai Lama and American Buddhist nun Thubten Chodron (with a foreword Sri Lankan Theravada Buddhist elder Ven. "Bhante G" Gunaratana).

The book, now in paperback has, 4.6 out of 5 stars with 150 ratings.

Buddhism is practiced by hundreds of millions of people worldwide, from Tibetan caves to Tokyo temples to redwood forest retreats.

To an outside viewer, it might be hard to see what they all have in common.

In Buddhism, the Dalai Lama and Western Vajrayana Buddhist nun Thubten Chodron map out with clarity the convergences and the divergences between the two major strains of Buddhism — the Sanskrit traditions of Tibet and East Asia and the Pali language traditions of Sri Lanka and Southeast Asia.

Especially deep consideration is given to the foundational Indian traditions and their respective treatment of such central tenets as

• The Four Noble Truths
• the practice of meditation
• the meaning of nirvana (liberation)
• the meaning of enlightenment (bodhi).

The authors seek harmony and greater understanding among Buddhist traditions worldwide, illuminating the rich benefits of respectful dialogue and the many ways that Buddhists of all stripes [Mahayana, Theravada, Vajrayana, Zen, Nichirin, vipassana, secular, etc.] share a common heritage and common goals. Buddhism: One Teacher, Many Traditions