How to be "cool" (guide)

Editors, Wisdom Quarterly: American Buddhist Journal (A MODERN GUIDE TO LIFE)

Hey, don't look at me, creep!

You know, first thing you want to do to be "cool" is click on a lot of ads, like especially the ones that say "free." They usually end up costing more. And spending buku bucks is definitely cools-ville, holmes.
 
Next you want to do all things cell phone/mobile -- tweet like there's no idea too stupid to talk about, and start with "OMG, can't believe she said that!" so ppl will know you're serious. Instagram it, f Facebook tho, dump that. SnapChat it, baby, same corporation.

(Double Take) Be totally HOT...and still have problems

Hey, look at those guys!

And makes lots of friends. It's easy! Just say, "Hey, 'friend' me, ese! I'm aiming for 10,000 likes!" Always talk with exclamation marks. Oh, and, aim for 10,000 likes. That's a good number of friends to have on social media in case you want to sell girl scout cookies outside of a medical dispensary or something. Get all krazy; like, y b norml? Listen to the s/he devils.

Be a gavone. We don't give an f'n s, b-tches!

And get a motto. You can have ours: "Always be good, except when you're bad. Choose to be happy, except when you're sad. Don't quote me on this, don't hold me to that. Should you live a good life? I guess it shall be."

Or how 'bout JC's? "Cut me some slack. I can't make up my mind. Get off of my @$$. I heard y'all the first time. I'll get to it eventually. Just leave me be!"

And never be sarcastic or ironic; peeps hate that cuz u'd have to think 'n stuff, and who's got time for that, yeah?

(Mr. Show with Bob and David) JC "Jeepers Creepers Semi-Star" the Musical

This guy, this guy right here, he's got it.

There's another way. But it's a big hassle. And who needs that? Why not just wake up late, bake, eat things in crinkly plastic bags, and breathe with ya mouth, and blow yer nose later?

Way back, like, in the beforetime, in India, this guy was totally done with the party-n-the-palace life, the naked dancing girls and musicians, the soma and ambrosia, the hoopla and the sports meets... 

The Four Noble Truths are all that's needed.

Quest. Why not seek FREEDOM? Be set free by the highest liberating truths.

1. There is a thirst, a TANHA. 2. It gives rise to terrible feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment, to dookie, to DUKKHA. 3. There is a COOL, cooling, quenching, slaking allayer of all ills, NIRVANA. 4. And there's a way to get to it, a MAGGA. So it is possible to be free.

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