"Women in Ancient India"

Weerasinghe (BPS, BL 47); Amber Larson, Crystal Q., Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

1. The Buddha's new mother: Mahā Pajāpatī Gotami

Within a week after the birth of Prince Siddhartha, who decades later was to become "the Buddha," his biological mother, Queen Maya, passed away.

From his infancy the young prince was tended to and cared for by her sister, his stepmother, Mahā Pajāpatī Gotami, who was the co-wife of his father, King Suddhodana, the ruler of the Shakyian [Scythian] kingdom.
 

Scythian mother and prince

Mahā Pajāpati’s affection for Prince Siddhartha was the same as for her own children, his half-brother and half-sister. She took the greatest care of him. After the death of King Suddhodana, she devoted her time to the study of the Buddha’s Teaching (Dharma). Her leisure hours were spent in preparing a suitable robe to offer to the Buddha.

At the end of the fifth rains retreat (vassā) of the Buddha, spent at the Pinnacled Hall at Mahāvana near the city of Vesāli, Mahā Pajāpatī Gotami brought the robe prepared by her to be presented to the Buddha. But when the robe was offered to him, to her great surprise the Buddha refused to accept it.

Repeatedly she offered it to the Buddha, but each time it was refused by him. At this she was deeply grieved. She remembered incidents in Prince Sidddartha’s life and how she had taken the place of his mother.

Tears filled her eyes at the Buddha refusing to accept her gift. Yet, she persisted in her offer of the robe.

Seeing the embarrassment of the queen, the Buddha explained that he would not wish to receive the robe as a personal gift. Instead, for her greater good, he suggested to her that it should be offered to the Greater Monastic Order (Mahā Sangha), whose enlightened members come from every direction.

Offering it to the greater community would be a far greater act of merit. After this explanation, when the robe was duly offered to the Monastic Order, the Buddha accepted it.

The Order of Nuns

The birth of the Buddha-to-be (Bodhisattva) attended by devas and Scythian ladies

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As time passed Mahā Pajāpatī realized more and more the truth of the Buddha’s Dharma. And as her son, Prince Nanda, had entered the Monastic Order she, too, expressed a desire to live a life of renunciation as a nun. 

But as yet no Order of Nuns (Bhikkhunī Sangha) existed. Therefore, she pleaded for the Buddha to admit women as fully ordained nuns to the Monastic Order.

But it is said that the Buddha for several reasons refused such permission. Undaunted, however, Mahā Pajāpatī cut off her long hair, donned saffron robes, and accompanied by several Shakyian ladies, she walked from the Shakyian capital city of Kapilavatthu to Vesāli in the east.

Travel-worn and weeping, she stood outside the porch of the Pinnacled Hall at Mahāvana, where the Buddha was residing. There, it is said, she repeated her pleading to her relative, Venerable Ānanda [the Buddha's other son or cousin, depending on one's source], who had seen her standing at the gate.

The Buddhist texts record how Ven. Ānanda, who was greatly moved by this pathetic sight, appealed to the Buddha on behalf of Mahā Pajāpatī and the other Shakyian ladies.

Finally, it is said, the Buddha granted permission to women to enter the Monastic Order on certain conditions, which Mahā Pajāpatī gladly accepted. Thus was instituted the Order of Buddhist Nuns.

2. Princess Yasodharā (wife of the Buddha)

In the life of Prince Siddhartha perhaps no one showed him greater devotion than his wife, Princess Bimba (remembered in history by the epithet "Yasodharā").

Buddhist stories show that she had been the companion of the Bodhisattva ("Buddha-to-be") in countless previous rebirths....

• [They were cousins born on the same day. She went on to become an enlightened nun and the greatest disputant in the land, who is referred to as Ven. Bhaddhakaccana and Rahulamata, thereby hiding how famous she became when her husband came back as the Enlightened One and she, her son, and many Scythians went forth into monastic life to gain enlightenment.]

When the Buddha entered Yasodharā’s chamber in the company of his father the king and two of his monastic disciples, he sat on a prepared seat. Yasodharā came, clasped his ankles, and placing her head on his feet, paid reverence to him. The Buddha had given directions that she should be allowed to salute him as she wished.

King Suddhodana then commented on her great love and said: “Venerable sir, when my step-daughter heard that you were wearing saffron robes [of a wandering ascetic], she also robed herself in saffron. When she heard you were taking only one meal a day, she also did the same. When she heard that you had given up high and luxurious seats, she did the same. When she heard that you had given up garlands and perfumes, she also gave them up. When her relatives sent messages to say that they would maintain her, she did not even look at a single one. So virtuous was my step-daughter.”

The Buddha then said: “Not only in this rebirth, but in a previous births, too, she cared for me.” He then related the rebirth story called the Candakiṇṇāra Jātaka....

3. Visākhā

Visākhā, the devout daughter of Dhanañjaya, a millionaire of Sāvatthī, can be classed as an ideal lay woman.

Judged by modern standards, Visākha remains an example to all women. She was intelligent and gifted with many feminine charms. In addition, she was fabulously wealthy. She was able to win the love and esteem of Puññavaddhana, the son of Migāra, another millionaire of Sāvatthī.

Her young husband did not hold the same spiritual and religious views as Visākhā who, quite early, became a lay follower of the Buddha. Nevertheless, due to Visākhā’s tolerance, there was always domestic happiness.

As a young girl she was so intelligent that she was able to grasp the Buddha’s teaching, the Dharma, when he came, as he often did, to her home on her father’s invitation for alms. It is said that when she heard the Dharma from the Buddha for the first time, she attained the first stage of enlightenment (stream-entry)....

The marriage of Visākhā and Puññavaddhana was a great event in the city. Visākhā received from her father, Dhanañjaya, as an heirloom, an exquisitely rich ornament called the mahālātā pilandhana ("great parure") and Ten Admonitions from her father that were the secret of her happy home life:

Ten Admonitions from a Father

1. “Indoor fire should not be taken outside the home.” (Troubles at home should not be discussed with outsiders, as such talk tends to increase troubles in the family).
2. “Outside fire should not be brought inside.” (Talk of outsiders who speak ill of the family should not be repeated in the house. Such tale-bearing destroys family harmony).
3. “Give only to those who give.” (One should lend to those who will return what is given).
4. “Do not give to those who do not give.” (One should not lend to those who do not return the articles).
5. “Give to one who gives as well as to one who gives not.” (Poor relatives and friends should be helped even if they do not repay loans).
6. “Sit happily.” (She should sit in a becoming way and consider status and seniority. In the presence of her parents-in-law and her husband, she should remain standing [as a mark of respect and deference]).
7. “Eat happily.” (She should take food after seeing that seniors and husband are served and that the servants are provided for).
8. “Sleep happily.” (Before a wife retires for the night, the needs of the seniors of the family should be seen to, and she should check that doors are locked and other household duties are done).
9. “Wait upon the household fire.” (The needs of husband and senior family members in the house should be well attended to as a sacred duty).
10. “Honor the household divinities.” (Parents-in-law and husband should be honored as the devas of the home).

At Sāvatthī she built the “Eastern Monastery” (Pubbārāma)....In that distant age when women were not much esteemed in society, Visākhā won the respect of all. Prominence was given to her in the Buddhist texts.

4. Sad Kisāgotamī
When the Buddha was residing at Jetavana Monastery, Kisāgotamī came to him with a very sad tale. She belonged to the Gotama (Sanskrit Gautama) clan and was therefore a relative of Prince Siddhartha, the Buddha.

She was remarkably beautiful with a delicate, tender, and frail body. Because of this, she was known as Kisa ("Slender") Gotami. She married well, her husband being a wealthy merchant. But when her baby died... the story is a famous Buddhist one about what happened.

5. Sexy, rich Paṭācārā

When the Buddha was residing at Jetavana, there lived in the neighborhood a young girl named Paṭācārā. She was endowed with beauty, riches, and she could have won the love of any young man in marriage.

Nevertheless, she had a clandestine love affair with one of her household servants. And she was aware that her parents would never agree to her unequal marriage, so she eloped and lived with him in a jungle den.

As time passed and she was expecting her first baby, she had a very keen desire to return home to give birth (as was the custom).

But Paṭācārā’s husband was afraid to face his former masters, as he thought that he would be punished for eloping. She, however, was determined to see her parents, and she ran away.

On the way, however, a baby boy was born and yielding to the pleadings of her husband who had followed her, she returned to their hut in the forest. And a second time with a new baby... leading to a famous Buddhist story... More