"Stoner Thoughts" on 4/20

Cali Callers, Heidi & Frank (FHF Show); Crystal Q., Seth Auberon (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Whoa, man, what a trip! (trippy clipart)

What's a "stoner"? It's a person who habitually gets stoned, so much so that they have a lot of time on their hands to wonder. What they wonder about is of a class of pointless peculiar mind blowing questions, KOANS -- "stoner thoughts" like:

1. How many Lowe's would Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's?
2. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
3. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
4. If you're waiting on a waiter, doesn't that make you the waiter?
5. If tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?
6. Sex workers in Japan will get a bailout because that country has a more enlightened view of sex work. Not a stoner thought, just true. 
7. Do nudists have any private parts or just public parts?
8. Did you know "up" for something and "down" for something means exactly the same thing?
9. Last month 90 thousand travelers went through LAX Airport, where last year 2.1 million went through, so if the Wright Brothers were time travelers who came back today and looked up, would they say, "We developed flight, and you didn't do anything with it!"?
10. If a dyslexic is reading a book about a dog, does he think he's reading a Bible?
11. Shouldn't buildings be called builts?
12. Why do doctors call it a practice? You're still practicing?!

13. 

    Koan practice comic (Ioanna Salajan)

    If you're a guard at the Samsung Store, are you a "Guardian of the Galaxies"?
14. "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" have the exact same meaning, unless you're at a funeral. lol!
15. Do you realize the word bed looks like a bed?
16. What if your name were Tony but spelled like Bologna (baloney)?
17. "Faded AS" is the same backward and forward. (It's not, but a stoner won't know).
18. If someone dies in a living room, is it still called a living room?
19. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
20. What if we're all dying, and everything is just our lives flashing before us?
21. Was "Dazed and Confused" Woody Harrelson's first movie? (No, he wasn't in it. It was Matthew McConaughey's first movie playing the character "Wooder.")
22. Nothing is on fire; fire is on things.
23. If you smoke pot on a boat, is it then called seaweed?
24. If we see water, do fish see air or, like, when they swim to the shore, is that the beach for them?
25. If you put on a sweater when it's hot, soon you'll become a sweater.
26. If humans get hemorrhoids, do astronauts get asteroids?
27. ॐ मणिपद्मे हूँ (ཨོཾ་མ་ཎི་པ་དྨེ་ཧཱུྃ)