Longest river in USA? M-i-s-s-... wrong

We were all raised not paying too much attention to geography. Boring. Public school is not taught to awaken and inspire, but rather to bore and humble. Get to work. And don't ask too many questions. Keep your head down.

Not paying that much attention, still, the longest river was always obviously the great Mississippi. But that has never been. Hello, have you met the Mandela Effect? Due to changes in the timeline, consensus reality, or you're just whack, it has always been the M-i-s-s...ouri. The what? Who's even ever heard of this river, much less to make it the longest? It's not limited to Missouri, and it pours into the great Mississippi.

• 10 longest rivers in the US: from the Missouri to the Brazos (HowStuffWorks)
• List of longest rivers of the United States of America by main stem (Wikipedia)

Supposedly, Lewis and Clark started on it and continued to the Pacific Ocean on the Columbia, a river that goes west like Guns, Germs, and Steel says made this nation prosper.

• All life on Earth comes from one single ancestor. And it's so much older than we thought (MSN)