"Star Wars: the Force Awakens" (extra video)

Seth Auberon, CC Liu (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly; Dale Hoppert, John Rabe (Off-Ramp/KPCC)

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Off-Ramp commentator Dale Hoppert sat on Hollywood Blvd. for a week to be first in line for the first-ever screening of the first Star Wars trilogy in 1985.

Now he's ready for "Star Wars: The Force Awakens," opening Thursday, Dec. 17th [at midnight, which is technically the 18th] at a theater near you.

Gather close now, younglings, for here is wisdom.

Soon you will [be driven to] join a war among the stars that has been raging for generations, a war of dark against light, and many of you have never known a galaxy without it.

I'm Yoda. Which character are you? (WQ)

But some few of us who remain have survived. We recall how it all began: It was a long time ago, in a decade now far away...the 1970s. Before the dark time that was the prequel trilogy...even before "Empire."

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Sadly, the murderers are real - modern policing ready to be deployed to serve the state.

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Yoga poses or asanas to be one with the Force.

Don't worry. I'm not going to keep that up the whole time. It's just, you see, I've finally figured out my place in the Star Wars universe.

I'm 50 and have been a "Star Wars" fan since I was 12. I now finally know which of those wonderful characters is me and is the perfect metaphor for my journey through the Star Wars universe.

And it's hard not to adopt the appropriate tone and cadence. Just count yourselves lucky I'm not talking like Yoda [who was modeled after the 14th Dalai Lama].

Yoda really is the Dalai Lama

You see, after almost 40 years, I've finally figured out: I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Let me explain. Obi-Wan Kenobi is the old Jedi Knight played in the '70s and the '80s by the late Sir Alec Guinness.

He's the one in the first movie who recognized what was going on and sent Luke off on his quest. In the prequel films, we see a young Obi-Wan played by Ewan McGregor having all the adventures he'll later use as stories to inspire Luke Skywalker. More + AUDIO