Dear Abby, my dumb son's a 'Peter Pan'

I don't give a gosh darn whom you date or marry, but get a job to pay for it. Work, Son, commit.

.

I'll marry your son IF you buy us a house, Mom.

DEAR ABBY: I am blessed with two sons who live with me. They are in their mid-20s.

The younger one is an amazing young man. He’s strong, confident but not cocky, and happy. He’s in college, works part-time, and plays in a band, among other things. 

My older son is the opposite. Since he was 16, he’s had countless jobs and is (again) currently unemployed. He has been fired from every single job except one.

• How to lead a good Buddhist life 1: Poisons

Dr. Jordan Peterson: The Peter Pan Syndrome* - Pan prefers kinky Tinkerbell to normal Wendy

You, listen to your Momma, Boy! - *Laughter*

He always has some excuse to blame others for his failings. He thinks he’s smarter than the rest of us, thinks he knows better, etc.

I’ve tried to tell and show him the issue is with HIM, not his previous employers. He refuses to accept responsibility for anything wrong in his life.

I love him, but he is driving me crazy. I want to help him but, honestly, I’m over it. I’ve reached the point where it’s difficult to be civil to him.

The last time he was out of work lasted three months. When I gave him a “drop dead” date to find a job or I was kicking him out of the house, miraculously, he found one in the nick of time.

But won't marriage solve all our problems, Kramer? - Seinfeld and Kramer grow old alone

I'm a Buddist, MOM! - I wish! You're full of it - If you don't get off my back, I'm gonna base jump

We are back at that point again. I hate to do it, but I need him to either straighten up or get out.

No matter what I do, I’m the bad guy — for enabling him or for forcing him out. I would love some advice.

— FED-UP MOM IN FLORIDA

• DEAR THE BOTH OF YA: C'mon, Mom, I have lots on my plate! Pot, porn, pervy dating adventures, my cellphone, chasing chicks, gambling and boozing with my buddies, craft beer sampling, hanging out, smoking the herbage, my retainers, school, um, lots of stuff. And shut the front door, Abby! Who's even writing your column for you?! Get off my back.

(Ego Podcast) Where are you stuck? Answers from the Buddha

You're a lazy bum, dumb!

DEAR MOM: Your son is no longer a child. He needs to learn to stand on his own two feet. Give him another deadline to find a job or be out from under your roof.

While he is employed, tell him you expect him to save enough money for a security deposit on a place to live.

Do not expect him to like it or be grateful to you for having subsidized him as long as you have. The biggest favor you can give him now is a chance to grow up....

• Dear Abby: My deadbeat son keeps getting fired from jobs — should I kick him out?
• This is why Gen Z aren't applying for jobs — shocking

Mom, I have Peter Pan Syndrome. Sorry

• Seinfeld; Dear Abby via New York Post, Feb. 23, 2025; Jack Black, "Jeepers Creepers," "Slackers," "Gay Son/Grass Valley Greg," Mr. Show with Bob and David (HBO); Psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson (analysis); Ashley Wells, Dhr. Seven, Shauna Schwartz, CC Liu (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Unemployment, evictions, laughs (video)

Jimmy Dore, Mike MacRae; Pfc. Sandoval, Seth Auberon, Ashley Wells (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Voting Biden won't save us. Trump's an idiot. Bernie, Pelosi, AOC have sold us out. Strike.

(TJDS) DNC corruption exposed by Bernie Sanders representative

Why are more women drinking? (video)

Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven, Ashley Wells, Wisdom Quarterly; Elizabeth Aguilera (KPCC Health Reporter), host Larry Mantle, AirTalk (scpr.org); Seth Macfarlane (Family Guy, American Dad)

Drain bramage, schmrain damage, if a man can get a DUI, I want one, too! (cracked.com)

Drunk without a real-friend's protection (see sutra below). Oh, alcohol! (cracked.com)

  

Women are drinking more despite the risks

Yum, it's liquid ignorance.

Women in the U.S. are consuming more alcohol than they have in decades past, and they face greater health risks for doing so. 

 

For one, a woman's body has fewer enzymes for breaking down alcohol [a poison from the fermentation (i.e., decomposition) process] and less water weight to diffuse its effects. This means women are at greater risk for liver damage and disease.

(Quagmire/Family Guy) "OMG, but you know you love it," your friends will say. And you have to wonder why you keep "dating" the same types of guys. No one has sympathy for a lush.

 

To self-sabotage! (Yoshikazu Tsuno/AFP)

Researchers also say drinking increases a woman's chances of getting breast cancer, as studies have shown that alcohol can raise estrogen levels. They also say that the way women are drinking today -- binge drinking, foregoing meals -- is cause for medical concern.

Experts say the rise in "risky drinking" is due to increased social acceptability [from shows like "Sex and the City"], gender "equality" [or the illusion of striving for it], culture and even a preference for hard liquor over beer.

WARNING: Potential trigger as Carrie & Co. do another "Ladies' Night"!

Women are also being arrested [and being sent to prison which, after all, is "equality," too] at an increasing rate for driving under the influence.

A recent report by KPCC analyzing 20 years of California DMV records shows a significant increase in the number of women being arrested for driving under the influence.

 

The DMV reports that women made up about 24 percent of DUI arrests statewide in 2011, the last year statistics are available. That's an increase over the 11 percent of DUI arrests in 1989.

WARNING: Sexually suggestive with cartoonish alcohol consumption!

 

Anything Goes!

What's behind this increase in alcohol consumption among women? Should more be done to educate women [who are already highly educated and at some level well aware of the hazards and pitfalls] about the dangers of alcohol? 

I didn't mean for that to happen. - Another drink?

[Or, like other successful campaigns, do emotions have to be brought into play with emotional appeals, better behavioral models and ideas of what's "cool" and acceptable. Are you a mom, do you drink and drive? Are you single, do you have sex with people you would not have otherwise? Are you a student, do you see a future vomiting in a toilet? Yum! Party on!] LISTEN (16:37)

• Please speak clearly into the cellphone when you drunk dial: White House proposal wants to [keep] NSA’s collection of your phone data [in a different guise]
• 5 Drinking Myths That'll Get You Killed

SUTRA: Drinking Buddies: With "friends" like that...
Dhr. Seven, Amber Larson, Wisdom Quarterly

Health is wealth, and here's how to lose both.

In the Advice to Householders Discourse (Sigalovada Sutra, DN 31), the Buddha explains the "Six Channels for Dissipating Wealth."
 
These include drinking alcohol (indulging in intoxicants which occasion heedlessness), roaming the streets at all hours, bad diversions, gambling, associating with the foolish, and idleness.
 

The Buddha goes further to explain why these lead to ruin. Each has six miserable consequences. Alcohol leads to: (1) loss of wealth, (2) increase in quarrels, (3) susceptibility to disease, (4) loss of reputation, (5) indecent exposure, and (6) weakened intellect.
 

When roaming the streets at all hours (usually due to drinking), we are: unprotected and unguarded, as is our family and property, and we are suspected of crimes, subject to false rumors, and we encounter many troubles.
 

What's wrong with "unsavory shows"? We remain restless and agitated, wondering: Where is there dancing, singing, music, recitals, and this and that distraction? We never find inner peace or enlightenment -- even though that's what we say we're searching for. (Entertainment is not wrong in and of itself, only that it takes us away from our quest and leads to financial ruin).
 

Let's go underage drink! If it's good enough for adults...

What's wrong with gambling? Isn't it just a pleasant pastime to help Las Vegas' economy? The Buddha explains in detail, but here is the biggest one: associating with "the foolish." Any gambler, any wastrel, any drunkard, any cheater, any swindler, any violent person -- in brief,, any "fool" (bala) -- is one's associate and comp. And with friends like that, who needs enemies?

"Idle hands are the devil's helper," grandma says: Addiction to laying around (with the hangover blues) means we are not inclined to put forth effort to get anything done, instead making excuses: "It’s too cold! It’s too hot! It’s too late! It’s too early! I’m too hungry! I’m too full!" Living like this, we leave many (karmically) profitable things left undone. Wealth is left unacquired, and savings dwindle away.
 
These are just some of the ways of losing money and losing our health the Buddha explained and warned about 25 centuries ago. More

From Heartbreak to Happiness (video)

Aurora Winter, GriefCoachAcademy.com; KTLA, Channel 9, Los Angeles

STUDIO CITY (CBS) - Turn lemons into lemonade with the help of author Aurora Winter. She stopped by the KCAL9 television studios Thursday to talk about turning our lives around after setbacks. Winter is the author of From Heartbreak to Happiness and founder of the Grief Coach Academy. It is never fun when life hands us sour lemons. Yet, sometimes they can surprisingly provide a goldmine of growth, insight, income, fulfillment, and even happiness.

• The surprising secret to turning lemons into lemonade
• How the worst thing that ever happened to you may shockingly also be the best thing... More

Job loss, stock market plunges 1,000 points

Historic stock plunge raises alarm

The Dow's stunning nearly 1,000-point drop may have been heightened by computerized trading. Market chaos

• "Machines just took over"
• Debt fears in Europe
• Greece debt crisis

Economy makes some men unemployable

One of every five men 25 to 54 isn't working — and many of their jobs are never coming back. Link to education

• Lucrative classroom skills
• 5 careers here to stay
• Find freelance jobs

Americans who lose Jobs become Hermits

Jeanna Bryner (LiveScience.com, 9/1/08)

[It's the opposite in Asia; see below.] Layoffs can turn social butterflies into near hermits who shun such outlets as book clubs and even church groups, finds a new study.

Workers who experienced just one layoff or involuntary loss of a job were 35% less likely to be involved in their communities than their always-employed counterparts, according to the survey that will be published in the September issue of the journal Social Forces.

Reciprocity
The researchers suggest the reason could come down to tit for tat, or an attitude of "you don't scratch my back, why should I scratch yours?" "Social engagement often involves an element of social trust and a sense that things are reciprocal -- that you give some support if you get some support, and you benefit from society if society benefits from you," said lead researcher Jennie Brand, a sociologist at UCLA. "When workers are displaced, the tendency is to feel as though the social contract has been violated, and we found that they are less likely to reciprocate."

Dirt on downsizing
The results were based on data on nearly 4,400 participants in the Wisconsin Longitudinal Study, which has tracked a group of 1957 Wisconsin high school graduates for more than 45 years. Born between 1939 and 1940, the participants are of an American age group that is inclined to participate in community and social groups, the researchers say.

Of the six forms of involvement, youth and community groups experienced the strongest exodus by displaced workers followed by church and church groups, charitable organizations, and leisurely activities. Professional and political groups remained just as popular on average in displaced and non-displaced workers. "Displaced workers may be more likely to keep up with professional groups than other groups because they're trying to make up for lost ground with respect to their careers," Brand said.

Workers who got flung out of their jobs during their peak earning years, between the ages of 35 and 53, were the most likely to withdraw from the social buzz throughout their lives. Employees who got the boot between 53 and 64 years of age, at the tail end of their careers, were just as likely to participate in social and community groups as their non-displaced counterparts.

"Being laid off doesn't appear to be as socially damaging for older workers as younger ones," Brand said. "The shame factor of downsizing your lifestyle just isn't there, because your peers may be downsizing as well and you can play off your displacement as an early retirement even though it may be forced retirement."

Double whammy
The latest findings have considerable ramifications, Brand said. "Whether citizens participate is important for the effective functioning of neighborhoods, schools, communities, and democracies," Brand said. In addition, such withdrawals from society can cause a vicious cycle of unemployment. "If workers withdraw socially after being laid off, then they're experiencing double-jeopardy," Brand said. "They're losing their jobs, and then they're not participating in society, so they're not keeping up with social contacts that might help them find a new job."

• Escape from Corporate America
• Hermits around the World
• Millions of Americans Work well into their 60s
• Survey Reveals Most Satisfying Jobs
• Original Story: People Who Lose Jobs Become Hermits

Asians with good Jobs were Hermits

Richard Barrow (thaibuddhist.com)

Over a one-month period, Barrow documented the life of a newly ordained hermit. The time for Nattawud's ordination as a bhikkhu ("hermit") has come. Most Thai men do this once they come of age. Nattawud isn't actually 20 yet. However, they are, apparently, allowed to also count the time spent in their mother's womb! [This is customary in Asia, so that one is nine months old pospartum.]

Thai men are not considered mature adults until they have become monastics for a period of time. Thai people call them "unripe." Once they have ordained and disrobed, they are called thit. Thai men in government jobs are legally allowed to take a three month leave of absence to ordain as a hermit.

Most do this during [the Rains Retreat (Vas) the monsoon season in Asia used for intensive practice since the bad weather doesn't allow for much else, sometimes called] "Buddhist lent," which starts in July. During Vas or lent people do not wander but stay in their hermitage. As Nattawud's birthday is in July, his family decided to bring the ceremony forward. More >>

• Bangladesh ordinations (Planet Pilgrim)
• Women fully ordaining (Sri Lanka)
• Cool Himalayan ordination (Nepal)
• A mountain of your own (Bhutan)
• Into the hot zone (Burmese ordination)