Father, Son, and a 'difficult' relationship

Fathers’ Day — The Young Buddhist Editorial

For Father’s Day tell us a story about how a father-figure in your life has taught you a life lesson about Buddhism — whether it was intentional or not as is the case with most “dad” lessons.

Hallie Ewig and her hip hop gangster rap dad

Hallie Ewig (she/her/hers) University of Washington, Class of 2022: “For as long as I can remember, my dad has exclusively listened to hip-hop music. When I was little, instead of listening to pop artists on the car radio, he would play artists like Tupac, Notorious B.I.G., and Wu-Tang Clan from his iPod. I never really understood why he listened to music most parents would find “profane.” One time I asked him, “Dad, why do you listen to songs with bad words in them?”

WARNING: Profane! 2Pac gangsta rap hip hop old skool ft. Eminem, Biggie

He responded by turning up the volume and saying, “Just listen to the lyrics, Mika.” If you really listen to the lyrics, you can see that all of these Black artists are sharing a common theme intertwined with the swear words: systemic racism. My dad has been exposing me to Black oppression before I was even old enough to understand it.

He taught me that it is important to not only listen to others but to do so with compassion, and music is a great place to start. Even though we face our own racism as Asian-Americans, we must be compassionate to the struggles of others so that we can unite to overcome them together. Black men, women, children, members of the LGBTQ+ community, dreams, and futures [all] matter. They have always mattered, and they will forever matter. Thank you, Dad, for everything!” More: The Young Buddhist Editorial

• The Dad - The Son is created using material from the father (Chad Knight) as seen in this #short
• Statue of the son was made from pieces removed from the father to represent what parents do to build the lives of their children : r/MadeMeSmile

The statue of the son (r/MadeMeSmile)

QUESTION: It's Father's Day. How would a Western follower of the Buddha make use of this celebration?

How and why would a "modern" or "Western" follower of the Buddha's Teaching celebrate this day and use it to give gratitude to his or her father as one of his/her first gods and the other three gods?

Maybe readers would like to share also how you fulfill their personal duty to give others inspiration and ideas. This mean not being greedy but instead sharing possible merits you have. (Note: This question is given as a gift of Dhamma and not for commercial purpose or meant for worldly gain.) Source: Buddhism Stack Exchange

The Buddha’s Legacy as a Father

Ven. Rahula, the Buddha, and Ananda

The San Mateo Buddhist Temple warmly welcome all to join the community in person for its Family Dharma Service on Sunday, June 15, 2025. On the occasion of Father’s Day, Rev. Adams will share a Dharma Talk about the legacy that Sakyamuni Buddha left for his son Rahula and how the Buddha’s compassionate care for all beings was like the concern of parents for their only child. The Buddha's Legacy as a Father (June 15) - San Mateo Buddhist Temple

Wisdom Quarterly COMMENTARY

Do you love me, Daddy? - More than life itself.

Was Prince Siddhartha loved by his father? The story/allegory of the Buddha's life makes that clear, unless he was a narcissist trying to live through his child, as even many non-narcissists do. King Suddhodana doted on his beloved son, the prince and future chief of the Scythians/Indo-Sakas. He wanted for his son what he wished for himself -- world dominion, the role of "world monarch" (chakravartin). The Brahmin soothsayers said it would be so IF only the boy were pampered and kept from seeing the world as it really was. For the son so loved the world that he came back to save everyone.

A father with a father and wife

Sid married at 16 and had a son at 29. Realizing it was now or never, he set off on a quest.

In this anachronistic, Western-informed fantasy, Samsara (2001), beautiful Yasodhara rips selfish Siddhartha for daring to leave his family to pursue his own fame, glory, and good times.

The Buddha's loving father

It's sad to reflect that most Westerners do not know who the Buddha was, their heads having been filled up with popular misconceptions of a fat happy Budai or Herman Hesse's book Siddhartha (which the careful reader will note is NOT about the Buddha but another guy named Siddhartha) which tangentially touches on the story of the Buddha's life.

Hesse's novel mirrors Everyman's Tale, the Hero's Journey, based on the allegorical story of the Buddha's life in general. Some of the Buddha's life story is not even about this Buddha but previous ones the Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) mentioned when teaching about previous supremely enlightened teachers (samma-sam-buddhas) who had arisen in this world.

Buddhist Madonna and Child

We forget that Siddhartha G. was a father because what are we all taught? That's right, that he abandoned the family (renounced the palace) for the easygoing life of a spiritual nomad, a wandering mendicant answering to no one with all the fun and palaver of going East on a spiritual quest. What could be more fun and full of good times? All that yoga and sitting around, no job, talking to other groovy hippies with long hair and beards on the Hippie Highway to Magadha and Bihar.

(Dalai Lama) Mothers are kind, and fathers

are left to be the unpopular tough ones.

The prince leaves his wife, Yasodhara (Bimba Devi), never meets his kid (Rahula or "Bondage"), says "fudge you" to the Ol' Man (King Suddhodana), not even a wave his mother-aunt (his mother, Queen Maya's sister, Pajapati Gotami)...right? Right? Wrong.

Scythian King Suddhodana with his son the Bodhisatta Prince Siddhattha Gotama

.

Thus We Heard (Bhante Piyananda)

Intention (cetana) matters. It is the basis of karma (deeds, actions). What was Prince Siddhartha thinking to drop out like that? (Where was he going to tune in and turn on?) We know from the ancient texts of the Pali canon that his wife knew where he was, how he was, and why he was doing it. So well did she know that she copied him. When he ate only one meal and slept on the ground and wore saffron, she took up these things. We impute to her how we would feel if we had been abandoned after giving birth, and this is completely wrong and misleading. The Los Angeles area monk Ven. Walpola Piyananda understands the matter so well that, together with Stephen Long, he tried to correct all the misconceptions in his book Thus We Heard - Recollections of the Life of The Buddha.

I'm hitting the road on a quest.

Siddhartha's intention, motivation, impulse to leave was to find "salvation" from suffering for everyone -- his father, his mother(s), his wife, his son, his family, his friends, his people, and all living beings, particularly the humans and devas. He didn't go to go forever. He went until he was successful. It took him seven years to do what he had to do (to accomplish what it means to be a "supremely awakened" "Buddha," which is different from an arahant or paccekabuddha). He had to attain full realization (maha bodhi), make known the path to enlightenment, which entailed preaching the Dhamma (Dharma exclusive to buddhas), and establish a Sangha (community) of successful practitioners, disciples capable of memorizing, chanting, and teaching that Dharma.

Mom, where's Dad? - That deadbeat?

As soon as he did that, he came back. How old was his son when he returned to Kapilavatthu (Gandhara, Afghanistan, Saka Land)? His son, Rahula, was 7. His former wife had not remarried even though she could have and was encouraged to. The family had not moved on -- his father having sent many messengers to bring his son back to rule the Sakas/Shakyas/Indo-Scythians and to find news of him. The only thing that had changed was that the son's son was now the prince. Rahula was now being raised to lead. The Buddha didn't think that was much of a legacy to leave his son. Instead, he gave him his grand inheritance worthy of a buddha: He had him ordain as a monastic, stayed by him, and brought him to enlightenment.

The moral of the story, the denouement?

King Suddhodana goes to greet the Buddha

Son Rahula became Ven. Rahula and enlightened. Wife Yasodhara became a nun (Ven. Rahulamata) and enlightened, the fiercest disputant in all the land able to debate anyone and win. Father King Suddhodana became an Aryan ("noble") disciple, attaining one or more of the stages to enlightenment. Mother Queen (Maha) Pajapati Gotami (Prajapati Gautami) became the world's first Buddhist nun and enlightened.

Many Scythians/Shakyian princes and princesses entered the Monastic Sangha and gained realization -- and the Buddha opened up that possibility to everyone, creating a Noble Sangha that was far larger than the Monastic Sangha we all imagine to be the "disciples" of the Buddha. It may have included 80,000 people, but it certainly included countless millions of devas. The Buddha is popularly known not only as the "Master Physician" but also as the "Teacher of Gods and Men" (of devas and humans).

Does that sound like a hippie on the Hippie Trail gallivanting around India with no job, doing nothing, leaving his wife, abandoning his son, sticking a choice finger in the direction of a loving and overprotective father and doting foster mother? The Buddha didn't forget his biological mother (Maha Maya) or even his previous mother in many lives (a woman the texts simply refer to as Mata along with her husband, Shakyamuni's father in many previous lives).

Now remember, young man, be a good father.

Wouldn't it have been better if he had stayed home, raised his son, tended to the householder life of the palace, been a dutiful son to his father, and made his mother proud? We wouldn't be talking about him now. He would never have become the Buddha, "the Enlightened One," in that life. But people, Westerners in particular, still want to bellyache, gripe, and air their grievances, full of wrong view, putting down the Great Teacher like they know better how a profitable life is lived.

• Monty Python (video); The Young Buddhist Editorial; 2pac gangsta rap mix; Tupac Shakur; Buddhism Stack Exchange; San Mateo Buddhist Temple; Dalai Lama; Dhr. Seven, Ashley Wells (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Why God is imaginary, atheists explain

Planet Curious, Aug. 4, 2023; Sheldon S., CC Liu, Seth Auberon (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Why God is imaginary

(Planet Curious) This video examines various perspectives and arguments that challenge the notion of a divine creator being, a supernatural "God." The speakers are prominent atheists [and materialists] Michael Shermer and Dan Barker.

(Planet Curious) Christopher Hitchens, Why God is imaginary, Part 2

Visit merchandise shop: planetcurious.myspreadshop.com Follow on facebook.com/planetcuurious and twitter.com/TWTAtheist. Email: planetcurious.contact@gmail.com To support this work financially, donate here: patreon.com/twt_pc All contributions are greatly appreciated.

Sources

1. Michael Shermer and Alister McGrath: Is God a Figment of Our Imagination?

2. Does God Exist? Jerry Bergman and Dan Barker Debate

3. Debate | Dan Barker vs. Dinesh Dsouza Existence of God

4. Debate | Michael Shermer vs. John Lennox Does God Exist

5. 2017 Stand Firm: John Mark Reynolds and Michael Shermer - Dialogue on Faith

6. Debate: What Best Explains Reality: Theism or Atheism? (Frank Turek vs. Michael Shermer)

Thanks to Patreon supporters: "Big R" KB Peggy Giammattei Brent McWatters Luis

Beware: Thoughts are not Truths (video)

Some thoughts on Buddhism and activism

Amy Reed (Voices from the Sangha), Refuge Recovery Asheville, North Carolina; Seth Auberon, Pfc. Sandoval, Sayalay Aloka (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

F da po-po? Love thy enemy?

I am by no means an expert on Buddhism, but one thing I have come to understand is that the Buddha was a revolutionary, both spiritually and politically.

At a time when it was unthinkable, he welcomed the untouchable caste into his sangha. He ordained women as monastics (but -- we are told -- only after they shaved their heads and marched a 100 miles on bloody bare feet in protest, because those original nuns/bhikkhunis were badass).

It is right to question authority (Kalama Sutra)

His teachings were about questioning dogma and the [Brahmin's] establishment, yet his sangha did not isolate and tune out, did not close itself off from the suffering of the world. They were in the streets; they were teaching the way of compassion to all who would listen; they were advising kings. They were involved.

Compassion is not only something I do when I’m meditating. I can cultivate wise intentions and wholesome thoughts while I sit. I can send metta or loving kindness to abstract strangers around the world, but that is only part of my practice.

There is also right action (karma). There is the action of compassion. What does it mean to act wisely in this world that is experiencing so much suffering? How do I show up for others and for myself?

AMY REED is a writer, mother, and current treasurer for the very spirited Refuge Community in Asheville, NC. She got sober nine years ago in Oakland, California, where 12-steps and a little dabbling in Buddhism was just what she needed. After moving to the South in 2014, her recovery and spiritual paths have found a new home in Refuge Recovery.

The Sound the Hare Heard [Chicken Little]

Ken andVisakha Kawasaki (trans.), Duddubha Rebirth Tale (Jataka 322), Jataka Tales of the Buddha Part III; Amber Larson, Dhr. Seven, Crystal Quintero (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

The Sound the Hare Heard

Question authority. Investigate the truth.

One morning while some monastics were on their alms round in Savatthi, they passed some ascetics of different sects practicing austerities.

Some of them were naked and lying on thorns. Others sat around a blazing fire under the burning sun.

 

Later, while the monastics were discussing the ascetics, they asked the Buddha, "Venerable sir, is there any virtue in those harsh ascetic practices?"

 

The Buddha answered, "No, monastics, there is neither virtue nor any special merit in harsh ascetic practices. When they are examined and tested, they are like a path over a dunghill or like the sound the hare heard."

 

Puzzled, they said, "Venerable sir, we do not know about that noise. Please tell us what it was."

 

At their request the Buddha told them this [past life] story of the distant past.
 

Long, long ago, when Brahmadatta was reigning in Baranasi, the Bodhisatta [the Buddha-to-be] was reborn as a lion in a forest near the Western Ocean. In one part of that forest there was a grove of palms mixed with belli trees.

• [Note 5: The belli (beluva or vilva) is the Bengal quince.]

A hare lived in that grove beneath a palm sapling at the foot of a belli tree.

One day the hare lay under the young palm tree, idly thinking, "If this earth were destroyed, what would become of me?" At that very instant a ripe belli fruit happened to fall and hit a palm leaf making a loud "thud!"

 
Startled by this sound, the hare leapt to his feet and cried, "The earth is collapsing!" He immediately fled, without so much as glancing back.

 
Another hare, seeing him race past as if for his very life, yelled: "What's wrong?" and started running, too.
 
"Don't ask!" panted the first hare. This frightened the second hare even more, and he sprinted to keep up.
 
"What's wrong?" he shouted again.

Pausing for just a moment, the first hare cried: "The earth is breaking up!" At this, the two of them bolted off together.
 
Their fear was infectious, and other hares joined them until all the hares in that forest were fleeing together. When other animals saw the commotion and asked what was wrong, they were breathlessly told, "The earth is breaking up!" and they too began running for their lives.

In this way, the hares were soon joined by herds of deer, boars, elk, buffaloes, wild oxen, and rhinoceroses, a family of tigers, and some elephants.
 
When the lion saw this headlong stampede of animals and heard the cause of their flight, he thought, "The earth is certainly not coming to an end. There must have been some sound which they misunderstood. If I don't act quickly, they will be killed. I must save them!"
 
Then, as fast as only he could run, he got in front of them, and roared three times. At the sound of his mighty lion's roar, all of the animals stopped in their tracks. Panting, they huddled together in fear.

The lion approached and asked why they were running away.
 
"The earth is collapsing!" they all answered.
 
"Who saw it collapsing?" he asked.
 
"The elephants know all about it," some animals replied.
 
When he asked the elephants, they said, "We don't know. The tigers know."
 

The tigers said, "The rhinoceroses know." The rhinoceroses said, "The wild oxen know." The wild oxen said, "The buffaloes know." The buffaloes said, "The elk know." The elk said, "The boars know." The boars said, "The deer know." The deer said, "We don't know. The hares know."
 
When he asked the hares, they pointed to one particular hare and said: "This one told us."
 
The lion asked him, "Is it true, sir, that the earth is breaking up?"
 
"Yes, sir, I saw it," answered the hare.
 
"Where were you when you saw it?"
 
"In the forest in a palm grove mixed with belli trees. I was lying there under a palm at the foot of a belli tree thinking, 'If this earth were destroyed, what would become of me?' At that very moment I heard the sound of the earth breaking up and I fled."
 
From this explanation, the lion realized exactly what had really happened, but he wanted to verify his conclusions and demonstrate the truth to the other animals. He gently calmed the animals and said, "I will take the hare and go to find out whether or not the earth is coming to an end where he says it is. Until we return, stay here."
 
Placing the hare on his tawny back, he raced with great speed back to that grove. Then he put the hare down and said: "Come, show me the place you meant."
 
"I don't dare, my lord," said the hare.
 
"Be not afraid," said the lion.
 
The hare, shivering in fear, would not risk going near the belli tree. He could only point and say: "Over there, sir, is the place of dreadful sound."
 
The lion went to the place the hare indicated. He could make out where the hare had been lying in the grass, and he saw the ripe belli fruit that had fallen on the palm leaf. Having carefully ascertained that the earth was not breaking up, he placed the hare on his back again and returned to the waiting animals.
 
He told them what he had found and said, "Be not afraid." Reassured, the animals all returned to their usual places and resumed their routines.
 
Those animals had placed themselves in great danger because they listened to rumors and unfounded fears rather than trying to discover out the truth themselves. Truly, if it had not been for the lion, those beasts would have rushed into the sea and perished.

It was only because of the Bodhisatta's wisdom and compassion that they averted disaster and escaped death.
 

At the conclusion of the story, the Buddha identified the rebirth: "At that time, I myself was the lion [king]."

How NASA misleads the world (video)

DMurphy25 (video) Puppet Test Pilot, 4-16-16; Pat Macpherson, Seth Auberon, Wisdom Quarterly

"An in-depth examination of some of the evidence that indicates that the Earth is not a spinning, orbiting globe"

 

The Biggest Lie of All?

When I was kid I always sensed that we were being lied to in school. It was obvious. I reported it to my parents, and they became angry, "Who are you to question it? You learn what they tell you." I did, but I doubted, I questioned, I got in trouble. 

After a while, I thought everyone knew we were being lied to. I would marvel that anyone still believed somethings that had obviously been debunked. There was another world, a world of lore, mythology, and things handed down. If you want to be thought silly you can study it, ancient Greek stuff and the like. It means you are educated, the Iliad, the Odyssey. 

The Jewish/Christian Bible was constantly referred to in the culture. Scientific assumptions, most of them wrong, were adhered to and never questioned until they were revised. Then everyone just switched without batting an eye. The thing they would scoff at, attack you for, then exile you on account of as an outcast or persona non grata they then switched to. They didn't decry themselves or think, "Maybe this is not the only thing I was being lied to about." 

Buddhism, unlike Christianity, does not call for blind faith. It calls for confidence and keen investigation. In the Kalama Sutra, the Buddha calls for free inquiry. This is foolishly taken to mean, "Believe whatever you want because you could be right." It actually means, "There are true things; strive to see them. It will be for your benefit for a long time."

 

(New Horizons) British go bonkers and dare to discuss actual evidence

This video, on the preposterous and ridiculous subject of the earth being flat like we all always believed, shows up how much we're being lied to about -- NASA's space program (and we're not told about the secret space program), the propaganda films our country made to prove to the world we were landing on the moon live when it was so obviously faked footage.

Have we gone to the moon? I think so. But we sure did not go in 1969 and show what was found in real time. That is a self-evident hoax with innumerable flaws, not the least of which is, "How was the take off from the moon filmed? They left an astronaut down there to get the shot then came back for him?"

Doubt, think, question, investigate. That's why were showing this video, and that's why recommend even outlandish claims. They may not propose the correct interpretation, but they sure show that the faith we have now is foolish, unfounded, the product of lying, and "science" has become the new unquestionable religion with white lab coat clad priests. Question them. They're wrong.

What is right? We don't know, and we have to keep searching. Our government funds secret projects we are not told about in the mainstream media, which come out through whistleblowers and slip ups, so the scientific method is being used somewhere -- but there founded on better assumptions than we get in mainstream universities and training schools.

• Part 1: youtube.com/watch?v=lchtw...
• Part 2: youtube.com/watch?v=TdoGT... - by DMurphy25

Evidence of staged attacked in Boston (video)

Wisdom Quarterly; StormCloudsGathering (April 22, 2013), Facebook, CollapseUpdates

(SGV) Could the military-industrial complex (MIC) have been involved in the Boston Bombings? This video demonstrates that, at a minimum, authorities had prior knowledge of the attack and nevertheless allowed it to happen. Private contractors were on the scene before the bombing. How? And this is only the tip of the iceberg. Why? What were the motives? More (video) The Tsarnev brothers, one of whom was executed by police, were coached by the FBI; parents say sons were framed, RT reports. What is the chilling effect of these staged incidents? "But I was later shown gory pictures!" Were they mass-casualty staging (as shown on CNN), makeup, and costuming released later after being enhanced with Photoshop? Here is some evidence to consider:

 

• Minds.com/blog/view
• Obama guts the STOCK act
• CISPA passes (Huffington Post)
• VIDEO: US government preparing for collapse
• VIDEO: Military internment camps to be used for dissidents 
• Why is US gov't buying billions of rounds of ammo?

In the wake of Boston attack, Lautenberg to reintroduce legislation requiring background checks for sale of gun powder (lautenberg.senate.gov/news)

Doubt and Uncertainty bar Enlightenment

Dhr. Seven, Amber Dorrian, Wisdom Quarterly; Ralph Lebeau (bitstrips.com); Nadia Isakova

Buddhist novices (samaneras) offering light to the Buddha reclining into final nirvana in Pagan (Bagan) temple, Burma (Nadia Isakova/flickr.com)

   

Far East novices (wellhappypeaceful.com)

Speculation is a wondrous thing with two edges. It takes us further than we can go based on the evidence, and it possibly misleads us when regarded as more than speculation. Once the Buddha said to his disciples:

 

"Ascetics, there are two kinds of people who slander the Tathagata [the Wayfarer, the Buddha]. First, there is one who explains what was not said by the Tathagata as said by the Tathagata and, second, there is one who explains what was said by the Tathagata as not said by the Tathagata. These two slander the Tathagata" (Abhasita Sutra).

C'ya at the finish line, sucka (hiltonbarbour.com)

Given the risk of this, Is it better never to speculate? Or is it simply necessary to make clear when speculating? Many teachers, indeed, fear to speculate; it seems the wiser. But in the West, we can be reckless, not realizing why the Buddha held back some times.

 

"What's the use?" sighed Eeyore

For instance, is world eternal or not or, moreover, will everyone eventually attain the goal of emancipation, which is nirvana? To answer either way is harmful. Any answer is a bad answer. The Buddha explained why. In the first case, if everyone is sure to reach the goal, why put forth effort? Relax like an overconfident hare. If not everyone, why put forth effort? It may not make a difference, so wallow in pity like Eeyore.

Old man and bow (ogijima.com)

More famously, there was a monk, Malunkya-putta, who asked the Buddha all the imponderable polemic questions: Is it this way or that (e.g., is the animating principle and the body one or are they different), are things finite or infinite, and so on. The Buddha more famously answered that he had not promised to answer these questions (which the Buddha teaches do not lead to dispassion, appeasement, direct wisdom, or enlightenment/liberation), but that being asked them was like a person shot by an arrow not allowing a master physician to remove it until that doctor told him who shot it, why he shot it, what he made the arrow out of, and so on.
  
The person would surely die before these -- and other questions that would arise -- were answered. Yet, that person would not have done what should be done, would not have laid down the burden by developing direct-insight, and glimpsing nirvana (MN 63). If the Buddha is offering a message of liberation, so rare in the universe, and all we would rather do is find out about the universe, are we not being just as silly?

"It is just as if one were wounded with an arrow smeared with poison. Friends and companions, kith and kin would find a physician, but that person would say: 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know the caste of the shooter,' 'I won't have this arrow removed until I know the shooter's name and clan... the shooter's size... color [race] whether dark, brown, or golden... home... the bow type... the bowstring material... the shaft's nature, wild or cultivated... whether the feathers of the shaft were vulture, stork, hawk, peacock... That person would die but those things would still remain unknown.

Knowing-and-seeing replaces questioning.

"Whether the view is held that the world is eternal or not, Malunkya-putta, there is still birth, old age, death, grief, suffering, sorrow and despair -- but these can be ended in this very life! I have not explained them because they are not useful, they are not conducive to tranquility, they do not result in nirvana. What I have explained is disappointment, the cause of disappointment, the destruction of disappointment, and the path that leads to the destruction of disappointment. This is useful, this leads to letting go, to dispassion, to perfect wisdom."

Arizona UFO cover up?

(AP) -- So, what was up over the skies of Arizona the other day? So many people were asking that the Feds had to come up with an answer.

The Federal Aviation Administration says it got calls all afternoon Monday [5/18/09] about an object seen overhead from Scottsdale to Sedona. A spokesman for the FAA says the object in question didn't show up on radar and was likely a balloon.

Eventually, the Columbia Scien-tific Balloon Facility in Pales-tine, Texas identified the ob-ject as a 4,000-pound research balloon. It was released by a NASA organization to measure gamma ray emissions in high altitudes. One person who saw the object in the sky said it looked "like the gigantic bubble from the Wizard of Oz."

PHOTO: Red Rocks, the sky over Arizona (Wiki); top-secret USAF craft, "weather balloon," mass delusion? A government explanation to deflect any sighting (Pravda.ru).

FEAR: What to do about the Flu

I. Ronic (WQ Special Correspondent)

MEGALOPOLIS, Gaia -- Be afraid, very afraid. Fear, that's the most important thing! Fear prevents illness...at least it feels like it does. Okay, it causes illness. But fear makes you feel like you're doing something useful. So obey authorities, be fearful, and don't bother them with questions.

Instead, help out: Demand your local government purchase flu vaccines and allopathic drugs from large pharmaceutical cor-porations. Especially if Rumsfeld is on their board. Price should be no object. Do it for the kids. Big Pharma is your friend, and we're here for you. I mean, they're here for us. A drug is not a drug if it's used as medicine.

Who's to say the price is to high anyway? "Price goug-ing" helps the economy. And you do want to help the economy, don't you?? Gouging is in the eye of the gouger.

Discourage foreign travel. (Sorry, no refunds). So don't bother the attendant at the ticket counter. We might have to call security. Just be glad you didn't go. Stay home. Avoid other people. Watch more TV. Shop the Web.

We have a great special on surgical masks. Nothing sells like fear. We can hardly keep them in stock. So get yours now, be the first on your block, show those Jones who's who. And remember, be afraid, very afraid ...no, even more afraid than that.

• Cause of flu
• Cure for flu
• WHO to stop using term "swine flu" to avoid confusion
• Mexico tells citizens to stay home, close down for 5 days

PHOTOS: Rumsfeld at the Pentagon; foreign tourists wearing surgical masks in Mexico