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| American scholar-monk Bhikkhu Bodhi |
Happily ever after, and even after that!
At Sunday Sangha last week (July 2018) we got into a discussion about the fact that of course we “cling” to our loved ones (spouses, children, parents, friends).
Then Brian mentioned that at a recent retreat, American Theravada monk
Bhikkhu Bodhi pointed out that while many of the Buddha’s teachings were given to monastics, many [possibly most] of them were not. They were given to “regular people,” who were married and had children, and so on.
It’s important to know who the Buddha was talking to when we try to understand these teachings. This brought to mind a sutra wherein the Buddha tells Nakula-pita and his wife Nakula-mata how they could remain together and in love with each other as long as they lived and on into future lives as well!
“This discourse also shows that far from demanding that his lay disciples spurn the desires of the world, the Buddha was ready to show those still under the sway of worldly desire how to obtain the objects of their desire. The one requirement he laid down was that the fulfillment of desire be regulated by ethical principles” (Bhikkhu Bodhi’s
In the Buddha’s Words). Here’s what it says in the text:
SUTRA: "To Nakula's Father"
(AN 4:55) One morning the Blessed One (the Buddha) dressed, took his upper robe and bowl, and went to the household of Nakulapita. Having arrived, he sat down on the seat specially prepared for him.
Then the householders, husband and wife Nakulapita and Nakulamata, approached him and, after paying homage, sat respectfully to one side. So seated, the householder Nakulapita said to the Blessed One:
“Venerable sir, ever since the young housewife Nakulamata was brought home to me [for an arranged marriage], when I was young, I am unaware of having wronged her even in my thoughts, still less in my deeds. Our wish is to be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well.
“Then Nakulamata the housewife addressed the Blessed One: 'Venerable sir, ever since I was taken to the home of my young husband Nakulapita, when I was a young girl, I am unaware of having wronged him even in my thoughts, still less in my deeds.
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| Householder stream enterers are well on The Way |
“Our wish is to be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future as well.
“Then the Blessed One said: 'If, householders, both wife and husband wish to be in one another’s sights so long as this life lasts and in the future as well, they should have:
- the same faith (saddha, confidence) [in this case having toether entered the first stage of enlightenment],
- the same moral discipline (sila),
- the same generosity (dana),
- the same wisdom (panna).
“Then they will be in one another’s sight so long as this life lasts and in the future life as well” (AN 4:55).
