Monday, October 11, 2010

El's Guide to Dating Sensitive Men (comedy)

October is "Monster Month" on Wisdom Quarterly

Having made a pact with the Evil One (Elizabeth Hurley), Elliot (Brendan Fraser) romances his girlfriend by the seashore -- then drowns her in the sappy syrup of sensitive attention and clinging. Just what every woman wants. Wish Number 3, a Contract with the Devil, from the remake of the British cult classic "Bedazzled."

Clinging and Suffering
Barbara O'brien (abbreviated version)
To recap, the Buddhist understanding of pain versus suffering is that whereas pain is a physical sensation, suffering is how we react or relate to pain.

This takes us to the Buddha's teachings about "clinging" or attachment. Buddhism teaches nonattachment. However, people assume this means Buddhists are supposed to remain aloof from the world avoiding close relationships. That is not at all what it means.

"Doc, my wife says I'm too clingy!"

Zen teacher John Daido Loori explains:

"[A]ccording to the Buddhist point of view, nonattachment is exactly the opposite of separation. You need two things in order to have attachment -- the thing you’re attaching to, and the person who’s attaching. In nonattachment, on the other hand, there’s unity. There’s unity because there’s nothing to attach to. If you have unified with the whole universe, there’s nothing outside of you. So the notion of attachment becomes absurd. Who will attach to what?"

...The conceptualization of a separate self takes us right back to the Four Noble Truths: suffering (dukkha) is inherent in life. Suffering is caused by greed (thirst or craving). We thirst ignorant of reality and the consequences of craving. Again, we can't very well thirst for something unless we perceive ourselves as separate from it. More>>

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