Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Signs of a TOXIC friend: Enemy in disguise

Ashley Wells, Ananda (Dharma Buddhist Meditation), Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly

Rahula, stay away from foolish people.
(Einzelgänger, Nov. 26, 2021) Whether or not a "friend" is toxic can be challenging to determine, particularly when we’re attached to a person.

For a significant part, whether someone’s behavior is desirable or not is pretty subjective. Also, people are rarely entirely bad; most (if not all) human beings have positive aspects as well.

So how do we decide if a friend is actually an enemy in disguise? What are the signs of a toxic friend? The Buddha may have some valuable answers to this question. The Sigalovada Sutta (The Intoxication Sutra), a Buddhist text, teaches us the Buddha’s views on friendship.

He rationally explains why we shouldn’t be hanging around with certain people as well as what kinds of people we should associate with, if we consider our well-being important.

What is the Buddhist concept of friendship?
What's the opposite of a toxic "friend"? It is a kalyana-mitta or "noble friend." These are the best sorts of friends to have, the Buddha being the ultimate friend or mitta. Enlightened people (who may be lay people or monastics) are the second best and the only ones available to us now.
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