Reyhan Şahin ("Sex") TRANSIT Your Homeland is Our Nightmare (German Dept., UC Berkeley), Didem Uca (trans.); CC Liu, Ashley Wells (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly, 12/4/21 posted by Jon Cho-Polizzi
Talk it out, or act it out. Therapy or oddity. |
It is still an absolute social taboo for women to discuss their sexuality outside of a man-made pornographic context, female sexuality that simply does not conform to the objectifying gaze and conventions of men.
I term this Female Sex Speech. To what extent is Female Sex Speech accepted in our societies?
To many, the open discussion of sexuality via Female Sex Speech feels like a bona fide Ottoman [Turkish] slap in the face.
It is quite common to enjoy when a singer moans softly in her songs, like in Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsourg’s “Je t’aime,” for one thing, because it was a long time ago (1969), and for another, because it was in French.
But when a female rapper roughly describes in German how she wants to be satisfied, they suddenly think: “Oh god oh god, how can she do that? Independent female pleasure!” Her Turkish background plays a decisive role in this indignation, as they expect everything of her — everything but aggressive sexuality.
They try to shield themselves from it, holding their hands in front of their faces. “Aaahhh! Help! The Monster Snatch is coming!” All for naught. Smack! P-spritz right in the mouth. Like bukkake, but rather than coming from a mélange of sticks, it comes from one single sn*tch.
In my case, it comes from a German sn*tch with a Turkish (im)migration biography. From a Kanakin who started at the bottom and now has a doctoral (Ph.D.) degree, from an educational climber who can rap and dole it out, aka from Dr. Bitch Ray.
...Female sexuality must be analyzed through an intersectional lens. We know the effects of multiple discrimination.
People can be racialized and marginalized on the basis of gender, ethnic background, or appearance — and sometimes all of these at once.
For instance, a Muslim woman who wears a headscarf and grows up in a non-Muslim majority society faces marginalization and discrimination not only because of her ethnic background (e.g., Turkish, Kurdish, Arab) and her religious affiliation (visible, among other reasons, due to her headscarf), but also because she is gendered as female.
She may be marginalized once more within her own particular Muslim community because she wears a fashionable or relatively revealing style of headscarf.
Whether they wear headscarves or not, many women face the harsh judgment of the outside world when they get dolled up or wear makeup.
Dating due to proximity: dangers of the office. |
I, too, am constantly subjected to lookist* discrimination and exclusion, particularly because of my flashy, promiscuous, and unconventional way of dressing and/or my unusual makeup.
- *Lookism represents the structural discrimination and exclusion of people on the basis of preordained forms of physical appearance, body, clothing, and looks.
Even today, a well put-together woman in academia who wears makeup and stylish clothing is presumed to be an incompetent scholar.
There are thus many examples of intersectional discrimination. Yet, to return to our topic of discussion, there still remains an important means of discrimination that has until now been overlooked in both the popular and academic discourse: Female Sex Speech.
The stigma of sex as an interSEXional form of discrimination is the most invisible of all. You can never prove it. No one has studied it. But it is omnipresent and clings to you your whole life. It clings to you like a case of the clap [gonorrhea] you can never quite kick.
Sociologist Erving Goffman describes stigmatization as a kind of link between a characteristic and a stereotype. The stigma is the point at which the virtual and the actual — that is, the true social identity of a stigmatized person — diverge.
In the case of Female Sex Speech, it seems that there is an extreme form of divergence at play, much like splayed legs baring a squirting c*nt. It’s such a drag when a person who has been discredited due to her stigmatized sexuality reveals other, wholly irreconcilable personal attributes, such as a serious occupation, a special hobby, or a particular cultural background. Plus sex, sex, sex!
That really turns them off because there is just no way all of this could fit together!
A phenomenon particular to Female Sex Speech is that it provokes the most extreme reactions. It not only incites maximum hate speech, but also seems to trigger male rape fantasies.
As though there were a formula that read: Female Sex Speech = Shitstorm10 + Rape Culture Activation. I could fill books with hateful rape culture comments:
“D*mb sl*t, you need to get f*cked to d*ath with a hard d*ck” sets a mind-bogglingly imaginative standard for what can be found in countless permutations. More (Warning, it gets worse, much worse)
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