Tuesday, July 18, 2023

New Buddhist joke for Jewish New Year

Sheldon S., Ashley Wells, Dhr. Seven (eds.), Wisdom Quarterly; Chabad.org/JewishNewYear.com, originally published Oct. 2, 2016 by Wisdom Quarterly: American Buddhist Journal
Don't go near this one tree, kids. - Why, Father? - Just don't. I command it! (Family Guy)
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What is Rosh Hashanah? 
We're Jewish? - I guess so. Want to go...?
The anniversary of the creation of Adam and Eve, a day of judgment and coronation, the sounding of the shofar... 

What?!: Rosh Hashanah is the birthday of the universe, the day G‑d created Adam and Eve, and it’s celebrated as the head of the Jewish year [New Year's]. 

When: The first two days of the Jewish year, Tishrei 1 and 2, beginning at sundown on the eve of Tishrei 1. (See this year’s date). 

How: Candle lighting in the evenings, festive meals with sweet delicacies during the night and day, prayer services that include the sounding of the ram’s horn (shofar) on both mornings and desisting from creative work.

Why Rosh Hashanah Is Important... More
A new Buddhist JOKE
Where is that rascal, worrying me so!?
An old woman gets on a plane in New York, flying all the way to India, a 24-hour flight. She gets off the plane and immediately gets on a train heading north. When the railroad ends, she boards a bus heading north. When the road ends, she boards a donkey and continues north on a dirt trail to the foot of the Himalayas until she finds herself at the foot of 1,000 steps leading up to an ancient Buddhist monastery and begins to trudge up the stairs, arriving hours later.

I'll be home soon.
Standing in front of the large and ornate wooden doors of the temple, she notice they are ajar. So she knocks. No answer. She knocks again more insistently. Eventually, a Buddhist monk comes to the door and asks if he can help her.

"I'm here to see the lama!" she insists."

"He's busy meditating right now!" the monk yells, as he begins closing the massive doors in her face. But she shoves her foot between the doors and says, "I'll wait." The monk reluctantly lets her in, inviting her to have some green tea and brown rice cakes and a straw mat to sit on.

She sits in the cold and begins to wait and wait, as hours go by. Finally, the doors of the inner sanctum begin to creak open, and incense smoke begins to spill out as the room in bathed in the light of a thousand butter lamps, and the lama emerges.

The woman rises, looks at him, and says: "Sheldon, enough!"

"The Jewel in the Lotus": Om mani padme hum
(ALEPH: Alliance for Jewish Renewal) The Jew in the Lotus 25th Anniversary Retrospective

Judaism may not be one's real religion, but it might well be one's cultural inheritance and baggage, whereas Buddhism might be one's religion or at least one's chosen spiritual and ethical path, as we learn in The Jew in the Lotus by Rodger Kamenetz.

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